61 Comments

Concerning my ink on the tortoise/hare limerick: let this be a lesson in persistence. This is at least the 3rd time I've rewritten and submitted this one--I finally got the wording and rhythm just right!

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Either that or Pat was tired of seeing it and decided to put it out of it's misery!!

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I thought it sounded familiar

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And now that I’m clear on other guidelines, I love this so much and it should’ve scored higher. 😍

“The famous pumpkin brand would make its slogan “We’re Libby’s. Own Us!” (Pam Shermeyer, Lathrup Village, Mich.)”

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Yay! More such commentary, people.

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Can you explain this? The only Libby's slogan I know is the jingle,

"When When it’s Libby’s Libby’s Libby’s

on the label label label

You will like it like it like it

on the table table table."

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You are a fortunate person who has never heard the exhortation to fellow right-wingers "Own the Libs." Now that you have, try to forget it.

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I've definitely heard the phrase -- and obviously have already followed your dictum to forget it.

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Another 😻 for word search:

Lossie: Memory-impaired dog who keeps forgetting where Timmy went. (Jeff Contompasis)

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Thank you for your use of “champing at the bit” in the second sentence of today’s invitational. That is one of those phrases where the proper usage has become the uncommon usage and is in danger of being replaced.

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Yes, “chomping at the bit” makes me bridle. Thank you for reining on their parade.

(Note to Dale of Green Gables: It’s a new year. The red flag counter has reset to zero).

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“bridle” and “reining” make me wish there was a virtual way to do a rimshot.

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make me wish there "were". Subjunctive for contrary-to-fact statements.

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Sez who !? You conveniently overlook the automatic rollover after continuing blatant and willful disregard for the sensibilities and sensitivities of the civilized world (and the less important parts, too). However, as a grudging show of goodwill and in honor of the forthcoming Year of the Dragon (which is as good a reason as any), you will be allowed two penalty puns. Better make them count.

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Four days right in a row? Four different elections for four different things, positions? Confused (again).

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Four years. Do you go to vote each time!

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Ah, there's the rub. Your acolytes must be confusing things along the lines of the Chicago custom to vote early --- and often --- as was the exhortation of two mayors and Al Capone.

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Thank you!

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I was confused by this as well because my state has early voting that goes on for many days.

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Right - voting for what? Voting on the polls on this Substack newsletter? Voting in National Elections?

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Uh it said election day.

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John Gearhardt, you knocked them “ho”s outta the park! So good.

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Gear hart

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He knocked them out of the pardk.

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Ha!

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It was originally Gerhart back in the Alsace region and most likely Gerhardt before that as that region's boundaries switched back and forth between French and German control.

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Yes, the “authentic” versions of Germanic names are many.

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Gene,

Any movies in 2023 you thought had better satire/humor than American Fiction?

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Satire is not a big movie subject. My point is, the trailer made us expect it to be a satire movie. It was largely a goopy relationship movie. IMO.

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I agree. A case of mistaken identity about (spoiler alert) mistaken identity. But, then again, too often a movie (based on its trailers) is like that box of chocolates simile used by Forrest Gump: you never know what you're actually going to get. I think the film is several good ideas in search of a unifying theme or arc --- the main or underlying one being satire, I also assumed. Having said that, Jeffrey Wright, the male lead, did what I thought, was a really terrific job of keeping it afloat. But, of course, you also point to why there aren't more movies in the category. Worthy written satire is tough enough; to sustain it at a reasonably high level on the screen is excruciatingly difficult, especially in avoiding all too easily crossing the line into parody. So, you're more likely to get a few satire-like moments before the auteur packs it in and moves on. The best movie satires are played deadpan and essentially creep up on that disbelief you're asked to suspend when you agree to watch. Even the "beats" --- those little moments that move the story along --- have to be precisely conceived and managed. Two satires about the media that come closest (IMO) are "Network," the Sidney Lumet/Paddy Chayefsky collaboration and Robert Altman's"The Player." As for the involvement of African-Americans in the US publishing and entertainment industries (the principal setting of the film) --- and industry notions of the authentic Black experience --- nothing quite sends that up still (again, IMO) as does Spike Lee's (much maligned as too shrill or scolding at the time) "Bamboozled" (2000). A barebones summary (if you don't happen to remember, or never saw, it): the sole black programming executive at a TV network wanting to prove his bosses’ obliviousness, proposes a monstrous absurdity—a “Saturday Night Live”-style minstrel show, featuring Black actors, in blackface, reprising vile stereotypes. To his horror, the show is picked up and becomes a hit.

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Even here in Shangri-La (aka Substack) real life rears its ugly head. You may have read (I'm sure Gene and Pat have) about a major tech newsletter ("Platformer") leaving Substack over content moderation (or lack thereof...) of white supremacist and other explicit extreme right publications. For those Poolers who no longer receive the newspaper whose name we dare not speak, here's a link to an article on the matter: https://wapo.st/3HieuWY

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Leave it to religion to bring out the wackos --- both in it and outside. Take those young Hasids who decided to do a reverse "Great Escape" (from reality) by excavating an underground passage --- reportedly pocketfuls of dirt by pocketfuls --- beneath an historic Brooklyn synagogue and worldwide HQ for their Chabad Lubavitch Orthodox Jewish movement. The ill-conceived effort (at least by the usual standards of civil, geological and mining engineering) mentioned in Q&A here, was uncovered publicly a few days ago, and supposedly had to do with expanding the building (presumably by more conventional construction techniques) which has been prevented because of a continuing legal dispute. No doubt these young extremists, as they were dubbed, were so caught up in their fervor, it didn't dawn on them that tearing down or erecting new walls would almost certainly attract attention. Fervor will do that to you. Almost as shocking (but not quite...) --- sharing the religious extremists' tunnel vision in their own way was, in addition to the mouth breather Gene mentions, a whole host of other extremists online spewing age old antisemitic conspiracy theories, including the granddaddy of them all from the Middle Ages, the blood libel conspiracy theory. Well, at least they couldn't rant (much) about shifty-eyed "Peeping Pinchases." The female "mikveh" the tunnel reportedly connected to, turned out to be a long-closed male ritual bath. Strange times.

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Actually I prefer "bi-cycling." I choose one category each week for myself and leave the other items on my neighbors' lawns as a kindness. Sort of like a trash tooth fairy for those obviously sneered at by the solid waste people (terrible gossips) for insufficient consumption.

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Wait...there was a poll on Invitational humor? How did I miss that?

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Thanks! Apparently I missed that entire issue. I'm currently hung between two computers (one is dying and the other less than satisfactory), and a lot seems to be falling through the cracks.

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Does Poll question mean "presidential elections"? Or ANY election--I do not belong to a party and so the state I live in denies me the right to vote in primaries.

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It said election day.

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Actually, the Nats event on the 27th is only 2 hours, from 2-4pm. Ouch.

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Listening to the news, “Iran aided AND ABETTED” the ship attack. I know that is a common expression, but it is meaningless to me.

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Meaningless in terms of definition or its use in that context ? Commonly used in law, as you probably know, but also by the "school of very serious journalism" to ratchet up merely "encouraging," to something a bit more sinister or menacing. Legalese, as you also no doubt know, is the arcane lingua franca of those who practice, or are otherwise proficient in the law and is meant to be very serious indeed. Thus, it is occasionally borrowed by very serious journalists to make a very serious point which would be no less serious to readers or listeners with a word or two they actually understood. But there you go...

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I smugly thought in the baseball teams, “Ohtani just had surgery so he’s out of the pitcher team.” But is there a rule that all the pitchers have to pitch? All the catchers have to hit, of course. Too deep?

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Ohtani got paid the highest pitcher’s contract ever, $46MM AAV to NOT pitch. I’m afraid that will be endemic from west and tear.

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Usually the alphabet primer instructions include the caveat that letters must be consecutive starting with an odd-numbered letter (you know what I mean). A-B and not B-C and definitely not Z-A.

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Note that this time it says "ANY two consecutive letters." I wouldn't consider Z-A consecutive, though. I think I was insisting on A-B, C-D., etc., before so that we could make a 13-couplet set for the first group winners. But we wouldn't have done that this time anyway.

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