Hello. Here we are. Weekend. Gene Pool. Fun and Games. I once proposed a game that people could pay on Monday mornings, possibly a bit hung over, in their office. I called it “office roulette,” named after Russian roulette, in that it was exciting, and deadly. Here is how it worked: Each participant would be in his own cubicle. There might be a thousand dollars at stake, in a pile of cash.
Best characterization of Donald Trump I have ever read appeared in my e-mail queue today. The characterization will be most appreciated by people of a certain age. Here it is:
The difference between Donald Trump and Jim Jones is that Trump would make you pay for the Kool-Aid.
Ah, so you have arisen. In staying with the day's theme, it probably has not escaped notice that to ensure he remains as offensive as possible, Orange 1 is now hawking the King Donald version of the Bible. This, of course, is the Very Newest Testament, not just New or heaven forfend, Old. The perfect training Bible for someone planning to lie under oath. Among my favorite verses from it are:
* "And He looked down upon them and spake thusly: send me more money. And be quick about it."
* "And he cast his bread upon the waters and it came back to him as soggy bread."
* And He so hated Fred, that He gave him Donald. And Donald was fruitful and he multiplied...his net worth (for loans) a hundredfold. And He looked down and said, "What hath I wrought?"
A colleague called a gullible employee of mine (from a cubicle about 30 feet from his office) claiming to be from Cisco Systems, investigating a problem with sound quality on the VoIP phone line. He politely asked if my employee could repeat a few test words. The gullible employee agreed, and was subsequently prompted to say aloud various words, including "Moo" ("Louder please." ..."MOO!") and "doodie". The employee asked, "duty?", and the Cisco employee insisted, "No, 'doodie'." I still laugh when I think about it.
P.S. Since nobody else has the courage, I'll take the pedantry bait: we think you meant "jig", not "gig".
Not worth sending in, but memorable workplace lojinx in which I, to this very moment, can plausibly deny participation, was first, the sophomoric switching of the bathroom gender signs, and then graduating to replacing them with gender neutral signs. This caused a satisfying amount of confusion that lasted several days and an unnecessary and unintelligible sensitivity training session for all.
First of all, I really liked Sasquatch’s characterization of the Orange Idiot. Yes, I remember the Jim Jones thing, but didn’t Jones also drink the Kool-Aid? I don’t recall. If so, will Mr. Trump PLEASE emulate Mr. Jones?
Insofar as being embarrassed by being me, definitely not at my age. Way back in my teens that was the case, i.e. embarrassment, but I’ve found that the older and uglier I get, the less I care. When I was in high school, I was deathly afraid of making some social error (and I made many, as I recall). The difference now is that I STILL make many social errors, but I don’t care any more.
"Gig" was up ? Meaning your computers (at the time) ran out of memory ? Or was it the "jig" that was up, meaning the sedition was discovered ? Or was a dance involved somehow ? Or are you once again making use of the permanent poetic license bestowed on the winner of the Hungarian guy's award ?
Back in the dark ages when push button phones were the only ones in the office. I unscrewed the microphone end of the receiver and removed the microphone. When my boss tried to answer the phone, no one could hear her but she could hear them! All we heard from the outer office was HELLO? HELLO?
Best characterization of Donald Trump I have ever read appeared in my e-mail queue today. The characterization will be most appreciated by people of a certain age. Here it is:
The difference between Donald Trump and Jim Jones is that Trump would make you pay for the Kool-Aid.
Ah, so you have arisen. In staying with the day's theme, it probably has not escaped notice that to ensure he remains as offensive as possible, Orange 1 is now hawking the King Donald version of the Bible. This, of course, is the Very Newest Testament, not just New or heaven forfend, Old. The perfect training Bible for someone planning to lie under oath. Among my favorite verses from it are:
* "And He looked down upon them and spake thusly: send me more money. And be quick about it."
* "And he cast his bread upon the waters and it came back to him as soggy bread."
* And He so hated Fred, that He gave him Donald. And Donald was fruitful and he multiplied...his net worth (for loans) a hundredfold. And He looked down and said, "What hath I wrought?"
A colleague called a gullible employee of mine (from a cubicle about 30 feet from his office) claiming to be from Cisco Systems, investigating a problem with sound quality on the VoIP phone line. He politely asked if my employee could repeat a few test words. The gullible employee agreed, and was subsequently prompted to say aloud various words, including "Moo" ("Louder please." ..."MOO!") and "doodie". The employee asked, "duty?", and the Cisco employee insisted, "No, 'doodie'." I still laugh when I think about it.
P.S. Since nobody else has the courage, I'll take the pedantry bait: we think you meant "jig", not "gig".
The constant sighs and eye rolls of my elder teenage son suggest I probably should be far more embarrassed being me than I am.
Not worth sending in, but memorable workplace lojinx in which I, to this very moment, can plausibly deny participation, was first, the sophomoric switching of the bathroom gender signs, and then graduating to replacing them with gender neutral signs. This caused a satisfying amount of confusion that lasted several days and an unnecessary and unintelligible sensitivity training session for all.
First of all, I really liked Sasquatch’s characterization of the Orange Idiot. Yes, I remember the Jim Jones thing, but didn’t Jones also drink the Kool-Aid? I don’t recall. If so, will Mr. Trump PLEASE emulate Mr. Jones?
Insofar as being embarrassed by being me, definitely not at my age. Way back in my teens that was the case, i.e. embarrassment, but I’ve found that the older and uglier I get, the less I care. When I was in high school, I was deathly afraid of making some social error (and I made many, as I recall). The difference now is that I STILL make many social errors, but I don’t care any more.
"Gig" was up ? Meaning your computers (at the time) ran out of memory ? Or was it the "jig" that was up, meaning the sedition was discovered ? Or was a dance involved somehow ? Or are you once again making use of the permanent poetic license bestowed on the winner of the Hungarian guy's award ?
cigarette loads (NOT by me)
Obvious reasons?
Back in the dark ages when push button phones were the only ones in the office. I unscrewed the microphone end of the receiver and removed the microphone. When my boss tried to answer the phone, no one could hear her but she could hear them! All we heard from the outer office was HELLO? HELLO?
I'm so out of f^cks about what others think of me!