Office Roulette

Hello. Here we are. Weekend. Gene Pool. Fun and Games.

I once proposed a game that people could pay on Monday mornings, possibly a bit hung over, in their office. I called it “office roulette,” named after Russian roulette, in that it was exciting, and deadly. Here is how it worked: Each participant would be in his own cubicle. There might be a thousand dollars at stake, in a pile of cash.

Each person — both were men, for obvious reasons — would place, on his computer keyboard, a horrifying, disgusting career-ending message to the boss. And by “The boss,” I mean the CEO, the biggest cheese. The message would be incredibly awful. An example would be “your wife/daughter gives me amazing blow jobs.” You know, that sort of thing.

Then, each participant would take turns thumb-flicking quarters toward the other’s computer keyboard. Any that hit “enter” ends a career.

So that was the idea.

It was just an idea, but the concept of workplace hijinks had actually visited me years before, in Albany, NY, when I was a cub reporter and there was a union problem, and all of the feature writers decided to conspire in a silent protest, and we all began inserting, into our stories. the simile phrase a “like the defeat of the Spanish Armada.”

This phrase entered the newspaper many, may times until one day a great copy editor, named Perry (I forget his last name) screamed, in the newsroom, “WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?” and the gig was up.

That is today’s challenge. Send us office hijinks, real or imagined, here.

Um, send them here:

Also here is today’s Gene Pool Gene Poll: