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Violet Hunter's avatar

Woohoo, 317 Gene Pool/The Washington Pist readers hailing from the great state of Maryland!

Maryland: The state from which US Sen. Chris Van Hollen will fly asap to El Salvador to fight for the release of his constituent Kilmar Abrego Garcia, who was kidnapped mistakenly (!!) and sent to a US-funded gulag from which the Evil Orange refuses to facilitate his extraction, in spite of the SCOTUS ruling directing him to do so.

FREE KILMAR! BRING HIM HOME TO HIS FAMILY IN MARYLAND!

Thank you. That is all.

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COL Mustard's avatar

Kilmar needs to be home. It's unfortunate that our government isn't doing everything possible to clean up the mess they made. Mistakenly deported, my ass.

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Annie Raggs's avatar

The Two-headed Calf

By Laura Gilpin

Tomorrow when the farm boys find this

freak of nature, they will wrap his body

in newspaper and carry him to the museum.

But tonight he is alive and in the north

field with his mother. It is a perfect

summer evening: the moon rising over

the orchard, the wind in the grass.

And as he stares into the sky, there

are twice as many stars as usual.

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Violet Hunter's avatar

Oh my. I was all worked up and angry after writing my comment/screed about the injustice done to Kilmar Abrego Garcia. Then I read this poem. Beautiful. Poignant. Made me verklempt in awe of nature, which helped defuse my earlier anger. (for now). Thank you!

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Annie Raggs's avatar

I'm here for your righteous and justified anger though!

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David's avatar

There's an R.E.M. song ("Pilgrimmage") that has a "two-headed calf" reference. It was written a few years after Gilpin's poem (which I hadn't heard of until today). Wonder if it was an influence.

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Larry Yungk's avatar

FWIW - I am a paid subscriber and I do live in Wyoming. Wyoming, Ohio that is. And as teensy-weensy as the population of Wyoming the State is - Wyoming, Ohio is EVEN SMALLER. Notable things about Wyoming, Ohio include...hmmm. There is a bench with a historical marker memorializing that the daughter of slave used to wait for her bus at that spot, and she lived to be 125 years old. Otto Warmbler, the unfortunate young man who was imprisoned in N.Korea and who died soon after release was from here.

Other than that, we are known for having one of the busiest freight rail lines in the Midwest. The two tracks are the eastern border of the town. There are 50-100 trains a day. Each train blows its horns 4 times (as per the Federal Railroad Administration regulations) at each of the 5 crossings in town. Meaning on a busy 24 hours (normally Saturdays and Sundays) we get to hear 1500 to 2000 blasts of train horns. These blasts are, as per Federal Railroad Administration regulations, between 96 and 110 db. Unless there are two trains at the same time, when the db level is a little higher, similar to that of a 747 take-off. This does not bother the lifetime residents, who are for the most part, deaf. Newcomers like myself tend to be insomniacs.

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kenneth gallant's avatar

One reason you don’t have any subscribers in Idaho is that I moved out in 1999, after teaching at the law school at U of I for about 13 years.

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Kitchen Cynic's avatar

The Potato Hotel charges $260 a night, and it doesn’t have an en-suite bath?

Not my idea of a Bliss potato.

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Kitchen Cynic's avatar

The hotel owners may have thought they struck Yukon Gold, but that idea spuddered to a halt.

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Dale of Green Gables's avatar

Stop it before you hurt yourself.

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Sasquatch's avatar

Chives and sour cream are extra.

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W. Michael Johnson's avatar

Or a TV...

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Sasquatch's avatar

So you folks are saying that the Spud is a Dud?

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Julia Griffin's avatar

You'd have to pay me more than that to stay in it. <Shudder.>

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Dale of Green Gables's avatar

Certainly not spudtacular.

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Sam Mertens's avatar

Nice try Gene. I’m not moving to either state.

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Stephanie's avatar

I was in Wyoming (and later Idaho) on the occasion on the 2017 solar eclipse. Afterwards I went to Grand Teton National Park and Yellowstone National Park. The occasion was my 60th birthday. The solar eclipse was perfect, as these things generally are. The Wyoming scenery was breathtaking. (Sorry, Idaho, but there it is.). You don’t have to ridicule states by bringing up their oddest features in order to get subscribers. Try the Facebook Group Alt National Park Service. They’ve been with us since Trump slithered onto the national scene.

Also, National Parks! Americana’s best idea.

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Richard Alexander's avatar

"You don’t have to ridicule states by bringing up their oddest features in order to get subscribers." Well, yes, he does. Otherwise it wouldn't be a Gene post.

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Mike Gips's avatar

I don't think he was ridiculing these states. The oddities endear themselves to him, I believe.

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Gene Weingarten's avatar

Right you are.

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Sasquatch's avatar

Battle Mountain, Nevada, might have something to say about that.

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Stephanie's avatar

Well, then, he should definitely visit. Scenery optional.

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Stephanie's avatar

Oops. America's. This is what I get for typing on a phone.

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Helena Handbasket's avatar

You could have gone into your original comment and edited it.

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Stephanie's avatar

Ah. Thank you. I did not know that.

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Pecos Slim's avatar

Microorganism sculptures are the coolest.

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Lawrence Mattivi's avatar

The poop sculpture is the best hands down!

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Sasquatch's avatar

Pants down.

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WolfBite🐺's avatar

Well now, Greenhorn, you done went and left off the cultural Mecca that is Wallace, Idaho.

Which boasts not only of being the filming site of a real, honest to god, Hollywood talking picture (Dante's Peak) but also a rail museum, AND a bordello museum! An aside I find interesting is that the brothel was open until 1988, along with 4 others in this small mining town that is now all Republican territory. The party of family values, dontcha know.

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Jody Brown's avatar

Aloha kākou from the Maui, Hawaii subscriber! Thanks for the wild ride across the U.S.

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Lori D Petterson's avatar

It is about time Rock, Paper, Scissors received a statue. It is crucial to deciding where to eat dinner, where to stop for gas, even what clothing to wear on laundry day when the pickings are slim.

Wyoming, by the way, was one of the places we were considering moving to because of its proximity to Yellowstone, Salt Lake City, Mt Rushmore, and Denver. We considered it mostly because we want to purchase a farm/B&B set up for travelers headed by car or RV to one of these attractions, it borders six other states (meaning we could easily go over to one of these states where purchasing things is cheaper (Wyoming is one of only nine states with no state income tax, but they make up for it with purchasing taxes). The only thing that made us change our minds was the weather (hard to sustain a farm on fewer than ten inches of rain per year - pretty arid in summer and pretty cold in the winter) and the fact that the town of Laramie isn't in Laramie County - what kind of people don't have Laramie, the town, actually in Laramie, the county? That's just madness and probably indicative of the caliber of residents in the state. Just sayin.'

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Dale of Green Gables's avatar

Laramie was indeed originally in Laramie County until the legislature decided to move it to Albany County. Actually found out it legally had to because of a clerical error over county boundaries. Hello. Hello. Still with me? So maybe not "madness" so much as confusion. Which still explains a lot of things.

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Lori D Petterson's avatar

I get it - the Federal government controls half the state because of parklands, etc. - but it made it sound like they just liked the name Laramie so much they used it all over the place: Manassas has Lomond Drive, Lomond Street, Ben Lomond Drive, Lomond Village, Ben Lomond Historic site.....it gets maddening to try to figure out which Lomond someone is talking about: "Turn right at Lomond, then turn left on Lomond until you get to Lomond...."

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Suzanne S Barnhill's avatar

Ever been to Atlanta? Everything there is Peachtree.

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Dale of Green Gables's avatar

It's called (politely) "bureaucrats revenge."

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Helena Handbasket's avatar

Am I the only subscriber from Rhode Island, the smallest state? If not, I'd love to know who the other one is.

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Bernie Burson's avatar

As one who was born in Idaho and has spent a fair amount of time there, I freely admit that it is The Bastion of Ignorance. At least, that's how I refer to it.

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Sasquatch's avatar

I'm partial to the fecal bacteria. My mind is in the toilet.

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Julie Atwood's avatar

Is it weird that I kinda like those waste water treatment sculptures? I don't want to own similar ones, but I think they're kind of a nifty idea for their location.

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