Wydaho Not?

Hello.

I write today to acquaint you with the grandeur of Wyoming and Idaho. I am not currently traveling through these states, nor have I ever had the pleasure of being in either, but I sure reckon I would like to one day!

I developed this wide-eyed enthusiasm just yesterday when I discovered that the Substack platform has highly sophisticated internal metrics, among them a tool that can tell you the geographic location of all the people who pay to receive your newsletter. Substack keeps a running count of them in every state! For example, I see that have 317 paid subscribers in Maryland, 62 in Florida and one in Alaska. I have customers in 48 states!

Right. Forty-eight. Just soooo close.

Here’s the map on Substack:

So, I figured it couldn’t hurt to spread a little goodwill among my brothers and sisters out there in the Whitelands of the Northwest. For one thing — perhaps not surprisingly — Idaho and Wyoming are two of the three reddest, most rural states in the country. To me, that’s not a strike against them, it’s an opportunity. These are highly polarized times; we are too willing to demonize people of different cultures and backgrounds, and see them in stereotypically unfavorable ways. I think that’s a shame.

Presenting today: The many splendors of Idaho and Wyoming.

—

‘The Largest Eyeball in Idaho”

That’s it, above. It is almost six feet in diameter and sits outside the Born Weird Tattoo and Piercing on Overland Road in Boise. It was built by the owner, a man named Darth Kendall Vader, using an old ocean buoy, which he painted and to which he welded faux bulgy veins.

“It’s solid steel,” Mr. Vader told a TV station. “It's not going anywhere. I plan on it being there for multiple generations.”

—

“The Potato Hotel”

Also in Boise, this is a windowless, one room hotel. This is what it looks like inside.

It’s in Orchard, Idaho. It’s 28 feet long. It rents for about $260 a night. The toilet and bath is in an outbuilding made from a converted grain silo. That’s all we know about The Potato Hotel. And yes, there is a bed:

—

“The Two-Headed Calf”

This is in the Idaho Historical Museum in Boise. The calf, we are informed, was born in 1950 and stayed alive for just 15 days.

—

“The Poop Microorganism Sculpture”

This is in Coeur D’Alene. It’s one of several giant sculptures outside the city’s Wastewater treatment plant; they each depict a type of microorganism found in feces. They include crawling and free swimming ciliates, filamentous bacteria, nematodes, and roundworms.

—

“The Chimney Shaped Like Idaho.”

In Coeur D’Alene, at the North Idaho Inn. It’s a chimney, shaped like Idaho.

---

-And Now, Wyoming.

“The Statue and Grave of Liver-Eating Johnson.”

There it be. It’s in Cody. Liver-Eating Johnson was said to have been a trapper and backwoodsman who took revenge on Indians and his other enemies by killing them and eating their livers.

This is him. He was real.

—

“Shoes made from the skin of Big Nose George.”

They’re in the Carbon County Museum, Rawlins, Wyo. Big Nose George was a murderer and a horse thief who was lynched, then skinned. Says the fine website RoadsideAmerica.com: “He reportedly clung to the telegraph pole to save his neck, but gravity dragged him down. He choked to death, and in his struggles the noose rubbed off his ears,” as you can see from this here death mask:

Sorry, readers. I am just reporting the known or somewhat mythologized facts.

—
”The Car With Two Front Ends”

We don’t entirely know what this is about, but here it is. It has two front ends. It drives. It’s also in Rawlins.

—

“The Rock Paper Scissors Sculpture”

Scissors apparently wins. Sculpture by Warren Cullar and Kevin Box, at the Gillettes Avenue of Art in Gillette, Wyo.

And finally,

“The Two-Story Outhouse.”

It’s in Encampment, Wyo. No, we don’t know how it all … works out. And we don’t want to know.

—

(Most of these items were curated by the fabulous website RoadsideAmerica.com)

—

So, that is sort of it. But first,

Here’s the Pitch!

Are you a NON-paying subscriber to The Gene Pool, and do you live in either Wyoming or Idaho? If so, and you are the first from your state to upgrade to a year’s paid subscription ($50), you will get three free months added to the end of your year! Make sure to inform me, in the message attached to your subscription, that you are from one of these two states. Subscribe here!

Today’s Gene Pool Gene Poll:

Last, a reminder. On Thursday morning, we will be announcing the PUN FOR THE ROSES Invitational Contest. Perennially, this is the most popular contest of the year, in which you are invited to “breed” two thoroughbreds eligible for this year’s Triple Crown, and name their foal. Sometimes people wait all year to enter this contest, and only this contest, which brings us to the final point. You can only enter the Invitational if you are a paid subscriber — but you CAN subscribe only for a month, which will make you eligible not only for PUN FOR THE ROSES, but also for the derivative GRANDFOALS two weeks later. Subscribe to the same Subscribe button above.

—

Goodbye.

I think I’ll see you tomorrow, again.