Hello, today is the Weekend Gene Pool, where in exchange for your anecdotes and observations, I entertain you. The deal today will be risky, because I am going to give you less guidance and more choices than usual, but I am trusting your genius and originality. Also, I seem to be out of new ideas for this stupid feature, and this one seems promising, if abysmally shallow.
Apparently turn signals are now an optional accessory. Either that, or they become inoperable with disuse. Certainly their use, that is when they are inadvertently used --- unlike the requirement to jam on the brakes every 50 feet, travel slow enough to put on makeup or text, or perhaps to view the lane pavement markings as only suggestions --- is evidently no longer part of the driving oral tradition. These remnants of the road include the single blink from a vehicle already (barely) in front of you, the "hell or high water" multiple blink initiated as the vehicle alongside decides to immediately cut you off and my personal favorite, the four-block-long continuous left turn blink. Petty you say? I say &@$% (or a similar grawlix).
I used to say that people got a bonus when they traded in their cars if they could prove the turn signals were never used. And if they could turn off the brake lights, many would. The idea is to not do anything to help other drivers or let them know what one is about to do. And there may even be good reason. Sometimes I have signaled a lane change only to have a car further back zip up to keep me out of that lane. Driving used to be cooperative. Now it is adversary.
My method to deal with people that pull this is to just pretend I don't see them and get over anyway (where possible, of course.) I also pretend I don't see any road ragers gesturing & shouting, etc.
I am bugged by the ubiquitous spread of the verb "impact," generally used instead of "affect," or as a noun instead of "effect." Worst of all: the egregious pseudo-adjective "impactful."
The only things that used to be impacted were toenails, wisdom teeth, and possibly stray hairs.
I believe I may have reached full curmudgeonhood with this diatribe. Thank you for the invitation to rant trivially.
Thank you, Sasquatch! I'm off now to rail against newfangled contraptions that prevent one from ever being able to reach a human being at a company by phone. Or rather, 'phone (rotary, by preference).
Another thing I do is go to Facebook, privately message the company and tell them I need help and can't reach anyone by phone. If that doesn't work, I send them a message that all can read--maybe on Twitter (X) or Instagram. This usually gets results.
Thank you, but as a certified curmudgeon I stay far away from Facebook, Twitter (X), Instagram and everything else that's not this here sort of forum for complaint about everything else.
It hadn't ever come to my attention, but I'm willing to get upset about it if you think that would be helpful.
I greatly dislike the use of "as such" as an all-purpose causal conjunction (if that's the name of the grammatical category: ?), used where "as a result" is called for.
But I've got plenty of free-floating language indignation, so: "enthuse"? Sure! What an awful back-formation.
I am bugged by the comments defaulting to "Top" first. They should default to chronological, oldest first. I will decide which I think are "Top," dammit!
So happy to have someone ask me for my irritating pet peeves. Here is one of them: I have heard many people use various incorrect pronunciations of the word voilà! Mostly, wahla. I immediately assume these people are stupid.
Now you've gone and done it! And just when the Committee was considering rescinding another red card. It pains me to have to tell you this, (yeah, sure...) but an only-twice-before issued mauve card is in the works. You don't want to even think about it. The last was issued to a funny little German guy with a toothbrush moustache who caused a great burst of forced laughter when he said something about wanting to "Check" Slovakia.
The use of the word "fulsome" to mean thorough, complete (instead of cloyingly complimentary). A couple of MSNBC folks are notable for this, for example saying that TFG's trials were replete with a fulsome examination of the evidence. AAAAAH. Who can I yell at over there about this? Even the lawyer in residence, Andrew Weissman, does it, and he should know better!
It's still redundant, my English-teacher mother's ghost whispers in my ear. My daughters (and usually my wife) are careful to say "the reason is that ...," just one of the ways in which their brilliance shines. (I may be biased, but I'm _objectively_ biased, as my wife explains.)
Exactly! Colloquially, "I only sailed to St. Thomas once" usually means they went only that one time, but putting "only" in that position implies the meaning you suggest.
Non-logical “points.” I still remember, about 70 years, we kids were arguing about whether you could hit a hardball or a softball farther. One kid postulated that you could hit a softball farther because it was softer.
The most recent thing that bothered me was being on vacation - and still working.
"I know you're on vacation, but this will take a minute....." It never takes a minute - reading your text took me three minutes to try to figure out how what you need means I have to stop my vacation and Google this for you.
Remember the Shell Answerman? That's me.
"Where do I park on this side of campus?" Google says to park at the parking deck.
"I need you to go into the room reservation system and book me a room." No, but here is a link to the room reservation system - you have access to it and can do reserve a room for yourself. "Why not just do it for me?" I am on vacation. "How am I supposed to know that?" When you sent me an email before sending me this text, you received an out of office reply, but I also notified everyone last week of my vacation parameters, as well as posting "Lori out of office" announcement on our shared departmental calendar. "I can't keep up with your schedule. Just book me the room." I am on vacation. "Well, you answered my text - why not just go the extra mile and help someone for a change?" Me: I am on vacation but since you put it that way, I won't be helping you since you just insulted me. See you when I get back.
"How do I cancel my travel in the new travel system?" Google says to go to this link. "Can't you just do it for me?" No, because I'm not you - I have my own account and can't log into yours. "Can't you tell me how to do it?" No, because I have no idea and you said this would 'just take a minute' and reading a thirty page instruction manual to you to give you the answer won't take 'just a minute.'
"Can you help me work out a computer problem?" No, but IT can. I am ccing them, but since Juneteenth is a holiday, no one is working in IT today and they will get back to you later. "That's why I'm asking you - no one answers in IT." Again, this is a holiday and staff are off because our offices are closed. "But while I have you, can't you help me fix it?" No, because I am off today for the holiday.
My favorite this week was, "Where can I get the form I need?" Here's a link to our intranet page where you can download that. "Why can't you just SEND it to me?" Because I am on my personal phone, not my computer, and can't attach it using my personal phone, which you called while I was on vacation. "Can't you just get to your computer and send it to me?" No, because my work computer is on my desk and I am in another state. "Don't you have access to your home computer? Why are you being difficult? Just get to a computer and send it to me." Do they still even have internet cafes like they did in the 1990s? No? Then where am I supposed to 'get a computer?' "Can't you run to Staples and use one of their computers?" No, I won't leave a restaurant where I am eating lunch on vacation because you don't care to open the link I sent you. "You need to bring your computer with you when you go on vacation so you can help people when they need you." Then it wouldn't be a vacation, would it?
another driving irritant... I am bugged by drivers that pull out in front of me in a way that makes me step on my brakes because they "misjudge" my speed or don't accelerate sufficiently, especially if there are no vehicles following me within a quarter of a mile.
Supermarkets that restock their shelves at 10am on a Saturday. For some reason, the refrigerated dairy aisle, with the doors on both sides, is the worst.
Shoppers who grab a wheeled shopping cart, proceed through the store’s automated doors and stop dead in their tracks to get out their shopping list, position their purse in the cart or, maybe, change glasses. A couple feet to either side or a bit further into the store would be appreciated.
One more, while I’m on a roll. Egg cartons with lightly printed bar codes that don’t scan at self-checkout. How many of the 12 or so printed digits do I then have enter … and do I leave off the first or last digit before the dreaded “help required” alarm sounds
Ah yes, the grocery store --- the very Home of the Peeve. Carts left in the middle of aisles, while the shopper is invariably on their phone describing the twenty varieties of baked beans on display. Or those cute little Kiddie Karts pushed by a cute little kiddie into your unsuspecting calves, setting off a gale of little kiddie laughter, followed by a wailing sound when I threaten to eat the little kiddie's face. Don't get me started.
To be fair to the shoppers, at least at my principal grocery store, there's not really an adequate place to "hover" once you get inside the store. I can gather my stuff just inside the store, off to the side, or go further inside and block the bakery case. But just inside the doors is where the handicapped buggies are parked/recharging, the promotional soft drinks are stacked, the we-shop-for-you refrigerators are located. I do try to notice who's behind me and make it quick.
“Q. How is the turn signal used in Florida? A. It is used to indicate to other motorists that you do not realize your turn signal is blinking.”
― Dave Barry, Live Right and Find Happiness (Although Beer is Much Faster): Life Lessons and Other Ravings from Dave Barry
Apparently turn signals are now an optional accessory. Either that, or they become inoperable with disuse. Certainly their use, that is when they are inadvertently used --- unlike the requirement to jam on the brakes every 50 feet, travel slow enough to put on makeup or text, or perhaps to view the lane pavement markings as only suggestions --- is evidently no longer part of the driving oral tradition. These remnants of the road include the single blink from a vehicle already (barely) in front of you, the "hell or high water" multiple blink initiated as the vehicle alongside decides to immediately cut you off and my personal favorite, the four-block-long continuous left turn blink. Petty you say? I say &@$% (or a similar grawlix).
They have been optional equipment in Massachusetts for ages. “Nevah use ‘em. Why pay fo’em?”
I used to say that people got a bonus when they traded in their cars if they could prove the turn signals were never used. And if they could turn off the brake lights, many would. The idea is to not do anything to help other drivers or let them know what one is about to do. And there may even be good reason. Sometimes I have signaled a lane change only to have a car further back zip up to keep me out of that lane. Driving used to be cooperative. Now it is adversary.
My method to deal with people that pull this is to just pretend I don't see them and get over anyway (where possible, of course.) I also pretend I don't see any road ragers gesturing & shouting, etc.
Who needs a turn signal in Massatwoshits, when the custom is to use the right lane for passing?
My father liked to say that he was the number one driver in Massachusetts. Everyone would raise a single digit as he drove by.
https://www.amazon.com/Forget-about-World-VISUALIZE-SIGNALS/dp/B00MS9BT60
I am bugged by the ubiquitous spread of the verb "impact," generally used instead of "affect," or as a noun instead of "effect." Worst of all: the egregious pseudo-adjective "impactful."
The only things that used to be impacted were toenails, wisdom teeth, and possibly stray hairs.
I believe I may have reached full curmudgeonhood with this diatribe. Thank you for the invitation to rant trivially.
Welcome to Club Curmudgeon, Hortense. Your Get Off My Lawn sign is on order and should be arriving soon.
Thank you, Sasquatch! I'm off now to rail against newfangled contraptions that prevent one from ever being able to reach a human being at a company by phone. Or rather, 'phone (rotary, by preference).
Another thing I do is go to Facebook, privately message the company and tell them I need help and can't reach anyone by phone. If that doesn't work, I send them a message that all can read--maybe on Twitter (X) or Instagram. This usually gets results.
Thank you, but as a certified curmudgeon I stay far away from Facebook, Twitter (X), Instagram and everything else that's not this here sort of forum for complaint about everything else.
I know how you feel. Sometimes, pressing O for operator can get you to a human. I've been known to ask the voice on the phone, "Are you real?"
How do you feel about the awful back-formation, "to enthuse"?
It hadn't ever come to my attention, but I'm willing to get upset about it if you think that would be helpful.
I greatly dislike the use of "as such" as an all-purpose causal conjunction (if that's the name of the grammatical category: ?), used where "as a result" is called for.
But I've got plenty of free-floating language indignation, so: "enthuse"? Sure! What an awful back-formation.
Curmudgeons unite!
And now, 'weather impact day' has joined 'in the overnight' in weather forecasts. Weather sometimes doesn't have an impact?
'Going forward', less grammatical and syntactic idiocy wouldbe appreciated, especially from allegedly educated public persons.
I am bugged by the comments defaulting to "Top" first. They should default to chronological, oldest first. I will decide which I think are "Top," dammit!
There is a pull-down menu above the first displayed comment that lets you change the sort order.
I know that. It DEFAULTS to "Top," which is what irritates me.
So happy to have someone ask me for my irritating pet peeves. Here is one of them: I have heard many people use various incorrect pronunciations of the word voilà! Mostly, wahla. I immediately assume these people are stupid.
When in doubt, always assume that people are stupid. Your survival may depend on it.
You know why the French never smile in photos?
Because when asked to pose, they say "fromage".
I think the term is "frottage." At least in the group photos I was in, or while in a crowded Métro car.
The idea of frottage in a crowded Metro car just rubs me the wrong way.
Now you've gone and done it! And just when the Committee was considering rescinding another red card. It pains me to have to tell you this, (yeah, sure...) but an only-twice-before issued mauve card is in the works. You don't want to even think about it. The last was issued to a funny little German guy with a toothbrush moustache who caused a great burst of forced laughter when he said something about wanting to "Check" Slovakia.
The little German guy with a toothbrush moustache, who overran the capital of Czechoslovakia, could never be accused of being a "prog".
Also, idiots who spell it "viola."
Those idiots play second fiddle to the "Wahlas."
There were jokes in Britian 50 years ago about the "Watergate Buggers."
The use of the word "fulsome" to mean thorough, complete (instead of cloyingly complimentary). A couple of MSNBC folks are notable for this, for example saying that TFG's trials were replete with a fulsome examination of the evidence. AAAAAH. Who can I yell at over there about this? Even the lawyer in residence, Andrew Weissman, does it, and he should know better!
Will wonders never cease! Here I thought all along it was a California prison.
That gets you a blue card--as in the Johnny Cash song.
I know what mauve is because it’s the principal color of Adam West’s Batman costume.
Asking someone to do something, with the response, "No problem."
Whatever happened to "You're welcome"?
Yes! thank you.
I see what you did there.....
"The reason is because" It's redundant, people!
"A high rate of speed" Speed _is_ a rate!
Misplaced "only", as in "I only sailed to St. Thomas once." (Only that ship has sailed, unfortunately.)
Objective case misused, as in "Me and my friends went to the Taylor Swift concert."
“I and my friends” would bug me.
Yes, that would bug me too, but at least the case is correct.
Though 'my friends and I' was what learned folks learned.
It's the "Taylor Swift" that bugs me.
That should be "the reason why is because."
It's still redundant, my English-teacher mother's ghost whispers in my ear. My daughters (and usually my wife) are careful to say "the reason is that ...," just one of the ways in which their brilliance shines. (I may be biased, but I'm _objectively_ biased, as my wife explains.)
I was joking (badly, it seems).
"The reason why is because" is like "the reason is because," except worse, more redundant. Redundanter.
Ah, I see that now!
“I thought in my mind.”
Someone could have only sailed to St. Thomas once. The other times it was a combination of sailing and something else like swimming.
Exactly! Colloquially, "I only sailed to St. Thomas once" usually means they went only that one time, but putting "only" in that position implies the meaning you suggest.
We've pretty much given up on me and him and me and X....too common in usage among the young, even highly educated ones,.
Non-logical “points.” I still remember, about 70 years, we kids were arguing about whether you could hit a hardball or a softball farther. One kid postulated that you could hit a softball farther because it was softer.
The most recent thing that bothered me was being on vacation - and still working.
"I know you're on vacation, but this will take a minute....." It never takes a minute - reading your text took me three minutes to try to figure out how what you need means I have to stop my vacation and Google this for you.
Remember the Shell Answerman? That's me.
"Where do I park on this side of campus?" Google says to park at the parking deck.
"I need you to go into the room reservation system and book me a room." No, but here is a link to the room reservation system - you have access to it and can do reserve a room for yourself. "Why not just do it for me?" I am on vacation. "How am I supposed to know that?" When you sent me an email before sending me this text, you received an out of office reply, but I also notified everyone last week of my vacation parameters, as well as posting "Lori out of office" announcement on our shared departmental calendar. "I can't keep up with your schedule. Just book me the room." I am on vacation. "Well, you answered my text - why not just go the extra mile and help someone for a change?" Me: I am on vacation but since you put it that way, I won't be helping you since you just insulted me. See you when I get back.
"How do I cancel my travel in the new travel system?" Google says to go to this link. "Can't you just do it for me?" No, because I'm not you - I have my own account and can't log into yours. "Can't you tell me how to do it?" No, because I have no idea and you said this would 'just take a minute' and reading a thirty page instruction manual to you to give you the answer won't take 'just a minute.'
"Can you help me work out a computer problem?" No, but IT can. I am ccing them, but since Juneteenth is a holiday, no one is working in IT today and they will get back to you later. "That's why I'm asking you - no one answers in IT." Again, this is a holiday and staff are off because our offices are closed. "But while I have you, can't you help me fix it?" No, because I am off today for the holiday.
My favorite this week was, "Where can I get the form I need?" Here's a link to our intranet page where you can download that. "Why can't you just SEND it to me?" Because I am on my personal phone, not my computer, and can't attach it using my personal phone, which you called while I was on vacation. "Can't you just get to your computer and send it to me?" No, because my work computer is on my desk and I am in another state. "Don't you have access to your home computer? Why are you being difficult? Just get to a computer and send it to me." Do they still even have internet cafes like they did in the 1990s? No? Then where am I supposed to 'get a computer?' "Can't you run to Staples and use one of their computers?" No, I won't leave a restaurant where I am eating lunch on vacation because you don't care to open the link I sent you. "You need to bring your computer with you when you go on vacation so you can help people when they need you." Then it wouldn't be a vacation, would it?
FB asking me over and over if I want "more or less ads like this." I more or less wish you would stop that.
another driving irritant... I am bugged by drivers that pull out in front of me in a way that makes me step on my brakes because they "misjudge" my speed or don't accelerate sufficiently, especially if there are no vehicles following me within a quarter of a mile.
Do you feel bad for Dicks because assholes are called dicks? If you don't, I don't see why I should feel bad for Karens.
Dicks and assholes are entirely different parts of the body.
John McCooey, Rehoboth Beach
Two very petty supermarket observations:
Supermarkets that restock their shelves at 10am on a Saturday. For some reason, the refrigerated dairy aisle, with the doors on both sides, is the worst.
Shoppers who grab a wheeled shopping cart, proceed through the store’s automated doors and stop dead in their tracks to get out their shopping list, position their purse in the cart or, maybe, change glasses. A couple feet to either side or a bit further into the store would be appreciated.
One more, while I’m on a roll. Egg cartons with lightly printed bar codes that don’t scan at self-checkout. How many of the 12 or so printed digits do I then have enter … and do I leave off the first or last digit before the dreaded “help required” alarm sounds
Ah yes, the grocery store --- the very Home of the Peeve. Carts left in the middle of aisles, while the shopper is invariably on their phone describing the twenty varieties of baked beans on display. Or those cute little Kiddie Karts pushed by a cute little kiddie into your unsuspecting calves, setting off a gale of little kiddie laughter, followed by a wailing sound when I threaten to eat the little kiddie's face. Don't get me started.
How else can we train “Future Shoppers”?
Right you are. Did I say, "Don't get me started!?"
If you're lucky, the shopper is wearing a mauve top, and you can recognize her by proclaiming "Mauve!" loudly, with a French accent.
To be fair to the shoppers, at least at my principal grocery store, there's not really an adequate place to "hover" once you get inside the store. I can gather my stuff just inside the store, off to the side, or go further inside and block the bakery case. But just inside the doors is where the handicapped buggies are parked/recharging, the promotional soft drinks are stacked, the we-shop-for-you refrigerators are located. I do try to notice who's behind me and make it quick.