The Peak of Stupidity

Hello. It’s me and Trevor Stone Irvin, the cartoonist, again. We’re probably going to stop this soon.

Today we celebrate yet another idiot. Her name is Anna Paulina Luna. She is a congresswoman. She has introduced a bill to put Donald Trump on Mount Rushmore. She is serious. It’s great.

Ms. Luna once worked as a cocktail waitress at a “gentlemen’s club.” We are informed by Wikipedia, for some reason, that her parents never married or lived together. She was a swimsuit model in Maxim magazine in 2014. She became famous as an Instagram “influencer.” She earns $174,000 a year. You pay her salary. She is a Florida Woman, of course.

“Let’s get carving!” she tweeted after introducing her bill recognizingTrump for his “remarkable accomplishments” and “the success he will continue to deliver.” I am not making any of this up.

She is a Republican, of course. She won her primary against a candidate who threatened to have her assassinated by a hit squad. Matt Gaetz endorsed her. Donald Trump endorsed her. Satan endorsed her. I made that last one up. The rest of this is true.

In May 2023, she co-sponsored resolutions by Marjorie Taylor Greene to impeach U.S. Attorney General Merrick Garland, FBI director Christopher Wray, Secretary of Homeland Security Alejandro Mayorkas, U.S. attorney for D.C. Matthew M. Graves, and Satan. I made only that last one up. Also, in May 2023 she sponsored a resolution to have Adam Schiff removed from Congress and fined $16 million and she said he has a “weird looking head.” I made that last one, but only that last one, up.

Luna , whose name means “moon,” wants to ban all abortions, calling herself a a “pro-life extremist,” a position she said she took after having dissected a chicken egg in college and seeing the chick react to a scalpel blade: "God was using that opportunity to really wake me up.” She earns, I repeat, $174,000 a year. You are paying her.

Mr. Trevor Stone Irvin drew the illustration above. He drew it for you. I am pretty sure he had assistance from Satan.

We are living in an insane world.

Congresswoman Luna, whom you are paying $174,000 a year, has claimed her father raised her to follow Messianic Judaism, an evangelical movement that incorporates Jewish traditions into Protestant Christianity, and that she is "a small fraction Ashkenazi.” Members of her extended family have contested this, saying her father was Catholic and that "they were not aware of him practicing any form of Judaism while Luna was growing up.” I am quoting this from Wikipedia.

Her mother has said that Luna's father was a "Christian that embraced the Messianic faith" after getting clean from drug addiction. Her grandfather, Heinrich Mayerhofer, which was apparently his actual name and who evidently flew planes for Hitler’s Wehrmacht in World War II, identified as Catholic when he immigrated to Canada in 1954.

In 2020, Luna claimed in a documentary that her "entire mother's side of the family and father's side of the family on both sides are from Mexico.” Her paternal grandfather, however, was German. None of this has ever been adequately explained. She does, however, want Donald Trump’s face on Mount Rushmore. His big, jowly stupid face. Reportedly, Mr. Jefferson and Mr. Roosevelt are appalled. Mr. Lincoln has reserved judgment. Mr. Washington is well above the fray.

Ms. Luna has said that she "grew up in the welfare system and was raised by her mother on government assistance with "no family to rely on” in a "broken home mentality.” I am not making any of this up, except that Satan is her father, which I cannot prove, however the following is true:

Luna claims that her father was a drug addict. She has said that, at the age of 10, she found his bag of meth. She has also said that her maternal grandmother died of AIDS due to heroin use.^[ Her mother Monica refutes this, confirming her own mother was a long-time heroin user and was HIV positive, but actually died of cancer when her daughter (Anna) was only one year old.^[By 2020, both she (Anna) and her mother (Monica) had chosen the Luna surname as "an homage" to that same woman's maiden name.

Air Force members who served with Luna in Missouri said that she wore designer clothing and that she had mentioned having nannies as a child. Luna's mother said that she owned a designer coat that she had bought at a thrift store and was known to wear it frequently, and that the idea of her having had nannies is "preposterous".

Luna's campaign website biography says that throughout her childhood and teenage years, her father "spent time in and out of incarceration", and that she communicated with him "through letters to jail and collect calls". Luna's mother and aunt said that he served several short stints in jail for not paying child support. Luna's mother also said that he spent at least one year in jail for a drug-related charge.

This is all from Wikipedia.

Luna earns $174,000 a year as a bona fide congresswoman.

In 2019, Luna said that she suffered "enduring trauma" after experiencing a "home invasion" by her landlord at 4 a.m. while stationed at Whitman Air Force Base. “Had my friend Jeremy not been there to protect me, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be standing right here in front of you guys right now.” Luna’s roommate said she did not remember such an incident. Instead, the roommate recalled a daytime break-in when Luna was not home. A Warrensburg police Department report described the July 2010 incident as a "burglary not in progress". The report states that Luna and her roommate had reported to their landlord that the home's rear door had repeatedly been left open, so the landlord installed new locks, deadbolts and latches, but the problem persisted. Police records indicate that no suspect was arrested or charged in the case.

During her first campaign for Congress in 2020, Luna unsuccessfully sought a stalking injunction request against her uncle, Edward Mayerhofer, after he questioned her biography on social media. His name does appear to be Mayerhofer.

— That’s it. Today’s Gene Pool Gene Poll is simple.

It is the Weekend. The weekend Gene Pool. Please send in a story about yourself. Describe yourself in 72 words or fewer. Be creative and funny.