26 Comments

My personal favorite:

This Just In x = Is It In Yet? (Steve Honley, Washington, D.C.)

Expand full comment

I copied/pasted Steve's entry from above but the form trimmed the blank space. Strange.

Expand full comment

I guess Google Forms deletes extra spaces; that's what The Post's publishing software does. When I was an editor, I was always in the habit of adding extra spaces when adding a word, lest I accidentally ran the new word into the existing one -- it didn't matter because it would disappear when we typeset.

But we've discovered that this is not the case with Substack's system: To produce

"This Just In x = Is It In Yet?" I just had to type some spaces with the space bar; I didn't have to add invisible em-spaces. On the other hand, an eagle-eyed reader might notice lots of irregular spacing in our paragraphs.

Expand full comment

For me, Godiva still scores: Godiva x Go Away! = Diva (Neil Kurland, Elkridge, Md.)

Expand full comment

My two faves:

Willy Wanka x Famous Anus = Tugger Carlson (Jon Gearhart, Des Moines)

Gore x One Rude Scent = Inconvenient Toot (Eric Nelkin)

Expand full comment

The site linked above for Beatles songs contains some errors, btw. "Bootlegs" for "bootlace" in "Lady Madonna", for example. https://www.thebeatles.com/songs has all of the lyrics.

Expand full comment

I've updated the link on this week's contest to go to this site instead. Thanks so much!

Expand full comment

Oy! Thanks for that!

Expand full comment

"I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin" is pretty close to perfect.

Expand full comment

Hopaday Sackaday

Doris von Kappelhoff

Always a virgin, a

Movie cliché.

Oscar Levant knew her

Long before Hollywood

Cinematographers

Made her that way.

Expand full comment

A great dactyl, Chris, from your days with The New York Mag Competition.

Expand full comment

Regarding my question about which Will Smith: I had just finished a short article about a celebrity stand up comedy event hosted by Will Smith, Dodgers catcher, for his charity. The funny/ironic part is that Will Smith, catcher, is the picture of stoicism. The guy barely cracks a smile if he hits a home run. So when Gene made a reference to Will Smith and laughter, I was confused for a bit. I did look at the list of Will Smiths someone referenced above, and there are quite a few even in baseball.

Expand full comment

Re: Goalposts. I might still have my Stop State at 28 button. I graduated the previous spring but lived in Lincoln Park so made it for that game. Being a dignified alum I did not join in the mayhem.

Expand full comment

Darn

Expand full comment

How many Will Smiths are famous??

Expand full comment

Wikipedia actually has a disambiguation page for all the various Will Smiths. I think the dead ones aren’t expected to laugh at everything either.

Expand full comment

“Choose a line from a song written by one or more of the Beatles” - the way I read that, I guess raiding Revolution Number Nine for inspiration is a no-go.

Expand full comment

Why? Because it's not "written"? I'm sure there's a writing credit on it.

Expand full comment

Most lines weren’t written by a Beatle. Lennon says a few things, I believe most of the original text comes from Ono. It’s been a long time since I’ve listened to it, but I believe it was samples from other sources, plus Ono and a bit of Lennon. It’s got the regular Lennon/McCartney credit (the original song wound up getting split in two pieces - there’s the melodic “you say you want a revolution” tune, and then there’s the chaotic Number 9 part).

Expand full comment

If the credit on the website we share credits Lennon and McCartney, I don’t think you have to worry about who wrote any particular line.

Expand full comment

I stand corrected then.

Expand full comment

If I remember right, Revolution Number 9 used mostly previously recorded material, inspired by Stockhausen and musique concrète, that was then manipulated in the studio by Lennon and Ono.

Expand full comment

Well, the site they give only lists minimal lyrics anyway: “Number 9, Number 9, …”, I’m sure somebody will give themselves a challenge of making it work anyway. More power to ‘em, especially if they turn out to be me.

Expand full comment

I mean, you’re the arbiter on what counts. This was just my take.

Expand full comment

I failed to send in my "Kubla Kan't", but I had a different horse pairing for it than Beverly.

I Want S'more x Xana-don't = Kubla Kan't

Expand full comment

"Wouldn’t their stability be largely, if not entirely powered by gyro and angular momentum ..." And you are correct. The wheels tend to stay in line with the direction of travel and that is why they can take their hands of the handle bars. Just rethink your conclusion.

Expand full comment