57 Comments
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Pat Myers's avatar

If you think the current (2012) Quaker Oats Guy is creepy, catch what he looked like in 1907.

https://triviahappy.com/images/articles/05072014rosyquaker.jpg

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Gene Weingarten's avatar

Wow!

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Pecos Slim's avatar

TIL in 1907, the Quaker Oats guy was Ginny Thomas.

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Larry Carnahan's avatar

WOW! Looks like a guy who wouldn't be allowed to read stories in a Florida library.

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Lynne Larkin's avatar

Quakers must've had an unusual reputation back then, wow.

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Sam Mertens's avatar

Looks like Robert Z’Dar who starred in the Maniac Cop movies, no doubt in part due to the distinctive jawline.

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Sean Clinchy's avatar

I just wanted to say that this is probably the best contest you’ve run. Congratulations to all of the contributors. Excellent work!

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SnarfyNewcomerOpinesBasically's avatar

yeah, i actually found these funny!

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Gregory Koch's avatar

I always thought William Henry Harrison was one of the best Presidents in history since he didn’t have time to do anything bad, and the fact that he bought a cow makes me love him more. Best President ever?

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JefCon 1's avatar

WHH should get credit for never abusing the presidential pardon.

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ChrisD's avatar

A long-ago ink in the NY Magazine Competition:

Tippeca Grippeca

William H. Harrison

White House inhabitant,

Briefest to date.

Sworn into office with

Bronchopneumonia.

Thirty days later was

Lying in state.

-- Joan Ruttenberg, Rockville, Md.

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Jon Ketzner's avatar

John Tyler, who succeeded WHH in 1841, has a living grandson named Harrison Tyler. Now that’s a by-god good Genepool. Child brides don’t hurt either.

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Guin's avatar

This should have won. It's the play on pronunciation that makes it so funny. Jesse Frankovich, you're brilliant.

BIG SEWER BLOWOUT IN DELAWARE TOWN

Lewes stitchers to celebrate 100th quilting bee (Jesse Frankovich)

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Leslie Franson's avatar

which is why now in sewing magazines they use the term sewist instead of sewer!

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Lynne Larkin's avatar

I agree that one is brilliant, and Jesse always makes me laugh.

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Lynne Larkin's avatar

Thanks for the link to the Fallon "Jim Morrison" - that really is incredible, and I can't help but notice [admit it girls, you look] that he stuffed his leather pants to resemble the 60s singer, as well. Hysterical.

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Perry Beider's avatar

A lot of great entries this week, but I think my favorite is "College Students Haunted by Murder."

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William Pifer-Foote's avatar

I would have voted for “Black Child to Be Given the Chair”

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Noodles & Cabbage's avatar

OK I was already in love with Fallon's I Whip My Hair Back & Forth, but had not seen Reading Rainbow. That is not easy to pull off (and the whole band -- excellent)! Thank you.

Also Pat I'm checking out that podcast.

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Suzanne S Barnhill's avatar

Wrt the steak poll: It's unlikely any of us will eat a steak that came from a cow with a heart shape on its nose because steak comes from steers. Cows give milk, bulls service cows, steers provide meat. My Rotary club's annual fundraiser is a steak cookoff. We have a giant inflatable steer used to promote it, and I'm constantly correcting members who call it a bull (fortunately it's now been given a name, Big Ben--in tribute to a late member--so that term is beginning to prevail).

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Jon Gearhart's avatar

I won the bacon and egg earrings? I don't have my ears pierced, so I guess I'll just have to wear them on my nipples!! :-)

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Sasquatch's avatar

We need pictures, else it didn't happen.

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Sam Mertens's avatar

As far as piercings on men go, those would be tame.

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Jon Gearhart's avatar

Maybe, but it hurts even to think about piercing my hoo-hah or dingleberries...

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Sam Mertens's avatar

I saw a guy show off his Prince Albert piercing to get himself elected president of a coop once. It worked, so they apparently can have a tangible benefit. I don’t know whether the padlock he had slung through it was necessary or not.

Yes, all of the above is 100% true. You made me remember it so I’m putting it in your head too.

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Jon Gearhart's avatar

Since I never saw it, it's not in my head. I don't have those kind of fantasies.

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Jon Gearhart's avatar

I have a picture but we can't share them here, unfortunately. But I uploaded it to Google Drive. Here's the link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1dUCMs6i7O08GQHnbcG0LUgAkF9exbOuY/view?usp=sharing

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Sasquatch's avatar

Why do I suspect that I'm about to get Rickrolled?

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Jon Gearhart's avatar

I'll bet you'd rather see Judy Freed's pierced nipples than mine!

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Lynne Larkin's avatar

Choose your pain, my friend.

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Kitchen Cynic's avatar

Gene's friend's “Little Golden Book” sounds like it could have been written by Charles Addams and illustrated by Gahan Wilson.

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Martha Baine's avatar

Cheers to another fan of Gahan Wilson. Do you remember The Power of Negative Thinking which came out around 1957?

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Scott's avatar

In a similar vein is the marvelous “Uncle Shelby’s ABZ Book,” which may be my favorite Shel Silverstein book.

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Tom Logan's avatar

I remember as a little kid being scared to death of Mr. Peanut outside the Planter's store on the boardwalk in Atlantic City.

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Judy Freed's avatar

I particularly loved Jon G.'s Big Foot in Missouri and Life-Saving Cheese Cutting. Of course, as a Floridian I was especially delighted by Roy's Florida Man Sticking Needle Through Tongue.

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Jon Gearhart's avatar

I voted for Judy in the Reader's Poll!

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Judy Freed's avatar

Thanks, Jon! Very kind of you! I think your Cheese Cutting and Big Foot were runner-up worthy!

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Dale of Green Gables's avatar

This just in. Consideration is being given to renaming the "Grab & Go Marketplace" in the Denver Airport after Lauren Boebert. But could be disinformation.

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Not Simple, Ever's avatar

Oh well, just a little bored by never cracking the list. I had BISHOPS MEET THEIR LORDS, LIVE TO TELL ABOUT IT about bishops meeting drug lords as to what I thought was funny.

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Pat Myers's avatar

If you were trying to make people think you were talking about God, why would there be the plural "Lords"?

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Gene Weingarten's avatar

Right. It was ALMOST very good. The competition is so stiff that small, unresolvable problems can be fatal. However, I'd like to encourage you. This was close to excellent but you were stymied by a stubborn fact.

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Jon Gearhart's avatar

You are discounting the idea of polytheism? How non-inclusive of you! :-)

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Not Simple, Ever's avatar

Because it could have been a tale of separate incidents over time, recounted. Humor is approximated and refined on retellling. Like polar bears being FAT WHITE GUYS.

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Not Simple, Ever's avatar

I’m not competing not complaining. You’re reading 1000 entries and you’re the only one who will. We were just asked for an example, like anything subjective, a lot don’t make humorous sense to me. I live by my principle that Pat has EMPRESSORIAL INFALLIBILITY. I appreciate the scrutiny by 2 esteemed and some of my favorite people.😀

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