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May 28, 2023·edited May 28, 2023

You might want to watch the ending of Casablanca again. It's not Ilsa and Rick who would be missing the plane; it's Ilsa and her husband Viktor Laszlo.

This gives me an an opening to mention my favorite scene. The band at Rick's is playing German songs, and the half-drunk Nazi officers are singing along and having a swell time. Laszlo enters and demands that the band play the Marsailles. They do, and every other patron in the place joins in, leaving the humiliated Germans to slink out with their tails between their legs. Gotcha!

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Speaking of flat-earthers, your post gives me the opportunity to mention Shaquille O'Neal is one of them: https://people.com/sports/shaquille-oneal-shares-his-doubts-on-the-earth-being-round-says-earth-being-flat-is-a-theory/

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founding

No "nay" to say about your description of the hit-and-run (baseball). But a couple of clarifications for those who couldn't care less and are reading this out of an irresistible curiosity about someone who would be interested and are too mesmerized by that to turn away. Similar to highway accident scene rubbernecking. The stars have to be in the proper alignment --- right pitcher, hitter and base runner at first, the positions of the second baseman and shortstop and even the ball/strike count --- for the hit-and-run to have a chance of success. And, of course, the odds (considering the number of outs at the time) that it works in either driving in a run or putting runners in scoring position have to be good and better than what a manager might otherwise expect/hope for without the attempted play. What to expect/hope for these days (at the professional level) is now largely dictated by analytics or sabermetrics (remember the movie "Moneyball ?") which quantify performance and situational odds --- and is the primary reason the play has fallen out of favor. Too many variables to account for. Your eyes have now glazed over sufficiently to end this bit of arcana from the National Pastime (at least still more or less officially).

On to eating utensils in Asian restaurants. As much as I am loath to qualify (or heaven forfend, contradict...) anything a two-time Pulitzer winner with other-worldly knowledge and acrobatic life skills says, the proper utensils in Thai restaurants are forks and spoons (no knives). You may show yourself to be an uninformed poseur by asking for chopsticks and receive them without comment by the always kindly Thais, but know that they will be silently laughing at you behind raised menus.

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the first group is the only one I have no respect for, the others are acting on their religious beliefs, and I do not disrespect people who are sincere in their faith even if different from mine.

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Can't answer today's poll because I have no respect for any of them...degrees won't work for me.

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That’s the way to hate!

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Not respecting a group does not mean hate. Hate is not in my vocab.

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author

"Nonplussed" to mean unperturbed is generally considered wrong. It's in the dictionary because so many people mistakenly use it that way, as a synonym for "nonchalant" (unless you believe that if enough people do something in the language, it can no longer be considered mistaken). It was supposed to mean "can't be plussed" -- as in "you can't top this for astonishment." "Gobsmacked" is a very close synonym.

--PtheP

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founding

PtheP is right, as always:

From Oxford Languages:

non·plussed

adjective

1.

(of a person) surprised and confused so much that they are unsure how to react.

"he would be completely nonplussed and embarrassed at the idea"

2.

INFORMAL•NORTH AMERICAN

(of a person) not disconcerted; unperturbed.

"I remember students being nonplussed about the flooding in the city, as they had become accustomed to it over the years"

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founding

And here I thought "nonplussed" meant showing up at an event without a companion. (No, no really. Very kind. But no need for more than one huzzah)

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author

Isn't that what I said?? Are we fighting? Are we having a "spat"?

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author

You said "Nonplussed is stupid."

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author

Did you not read everything I said, madam? I was clearly distinguishing proper use from improper use.

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author

I USED nonplussed earlier in the Gene Pool. Myself. Correctly. Madame DeFarge.

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founding

Is the upper case “ F” correct?

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founding

It is not. But, little known, is that the Pulitzer confers lifetime dispensation. By ordination, Pat is required to be scrupulously correct. For Gene, it is an option.

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Your answer to the question on the art of boredom may be brilliant. It is behind a paywall, however.

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author

Ah, rats.

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Three parodies of “Be My Guest”. Done to death in the Dot.com Invitational.

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I was the writer of the "Be Our Guest" parody. I don't care how many people parodied a song before. My only concern is whether it's done cleverly enough. And I immodestly think I did, using some of Trump's own words and slipping in a couple of subtle details - e.g., the intentional double meaning of "all the rage".

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author

It was excellent. The "Norwegians" line is classic.

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author

? Where are there three parodies? There is one today. (I trimmed a second one for length at the eleventh hour.)

"Be Our Guest" has, however, proved to be an ideal song to use in a parody: Its eight lines is long enough to get a lot of wit in and feel like a stand-alone song in just one verse, but short enough to get through easily. It also has interior rhyme, which is a great opportunity for witty writing (in fact, it's a challenge to match the witty lyrics of the original). And finally, lots of things rhyme with "guest" -- leading to the many variations we've printed. It's become sort of a running joke in Invite parody contests.

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founding

I’m terrible at these parodies…awful..but I do avoid “ Guest” because it feels like writing a high school book report on “ T o Kill A Mockingbird”… something the NHS kids do to impress teacher

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More like a limping joke

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A better choice for a response to the Urgent Emergency Gene Pool Gene Poll: You pays your money and you takes your pick.

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Why not three?

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author

Uh. This comment format is not perfect. Why not three WHAT?

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Just select “anti-capitalist limousine liberal”

Another “Be My Guest” parody? Ugh.

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What does "anti-capitalist limousine liberal" have to do with "Be My Guest"?

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It takes one to have multiple versions of the other

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I do not understand how "Be My Guest" is associated with limousine liberals or anti-capitalism! It was created by a huge multinational corporation, after all.

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And actually, it's "Be Our Guest." No connection with the politics (or lack thereof), just wanted to get the correct title out there.

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author

We almost ran two!

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I always saw them as a fun little “in joke” — when Mr. Raffman (who has done a few) hits whatever ink milestone you do it for, I figured for his contest we’d all have to do one.

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author

Ooh! With his ink today (not for Be Our Guest, as it happens), Mark Raffman will have 952 blots of ink in his Invite career. When he gets to 1,000, he can choose (and guest-judge) a contest -- that'll easily be within a year!

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I have a Russian submariner's watch which is one of the coolest things I own. I was looking for a wind-up watch (surprisingly hard to find!) and came across this one: https://www.amazon.com/VOSTOK-Komandirskie-Submarine-Mechanical-219163/dp/B09VV5VM7W/ref=sr_1_29?crid=24UPN3OTPTLAJ&keywords=russian%2Bsubmariner%27s%2Bwatch&qid=1685031870&sprefix=russian%2Bsubmanariner%27s%2Bwatch%2Caps%2C326&sr=8-29&th=1

It took about four months to get here, and the package had obviously been opened and resealed a number of times, but it keeps good time!

I also have a nice ladies' Tag Heuer bracelet watch that I loved until the bracelet came apart. After several failed attempts to have it repaired I switched to a black leather band. It's still nice, but it's just too big a pain to take it down to the jewelers' to have the battery replaced. The little plastic Tag is nice, too, but with the same battery problem.

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Here's a modern take on Casey At Bat....this is a true story from my FB page....

When somebody tosses me a big ol' softball, I just gotta take a swing.

The wind up....

Last night Date Night...wife and I went out to dinner. A new-ish bar/restaurant...noisy, lots of tvs with sports going. Good food, great desserts. They seat us at a bar height table. After the meal, wife slides off bar stool and just stands there. I give her the let's go look.

Aaannd the pitch...

She says "I'm stretching for a second so I don't limp out. You don't want look like you're walking out with an old lady, DO YOU?"

Now, what I SHOULD have said was something like, "You don't look a day over 21," or " Don't be silly, you look great."

The swing for fence....what I said was...

"Why not, I came in with one!"

The mighty Logan struck out.

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author

Excellent!

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Also, a runner on first with two outs ought to score on a double, unless they’re incredibly slow.

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Well, there's more to the etymology of words like beef and pork. Cow and pig are still part of the language, after all. But the Norman French words were used by the nobility after the Norman invasion for the food served at the table (beef, pork, mutton). The lower-class Anglos who raised the animals continued to use the words they always had. Those words became the modern cow, pig, and sheep.

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Understood, but a bit off the point. We do not see a pig in the field and call him a pork. It is a term we only use for food. I figured guilt was involved, but apparently not.

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My wife used to work at Woodies’ downtown store, for a French boss who had been in the U.S. for over 20 years, and had his struggles with our language. The store was having a promotion with the Redskins, and two of the Hogs were making an appearance. Pierre asked if anyone was going to see the two “Pork”, pronounced “Pock”, with a heavy French accent.

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I used to wear watches, usually a pretty decent Timex or such and like sunglasses would lose them one way or another. One year at the beach, to try to deter theft of my "decent watch," I went to one of the beach stores and bought a $2 cheap plastic band watch. I couldn't even replace the battery in my decent watch for $2. I had that $2 watch for 5 years before it finally quit.

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founding

Same experience…forgot my watch on a trip to Fla and bought a plastic “ Melting Clock”watch at the Dali Museum gift shop in St Pete and she’s ticking away still in my shaving kit

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author

You are valuing the wrong things.

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I don't know which survey answer to click on!

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author

We are forcing a decision. That's how it works, however hard it is.. I will not raise Sophie's choice, but ...

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