27 Comments
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Raymo's avatar

The one that msde me laugh out loud was Steve Smith's "I'll feel better once it makes its way through the lower chamber."

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Melinda Tabler's avatar

"I think you need a head coach" is the funniest of all of them.

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Connie Akers's avatar

I was sure I'd seen posted here sometime that on the Style Invitational facebook page was a place to see contest entries that didn't get ink. I've never been able to find it. Did I dream this?

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Pat Myers's avatar

Connie, when I share a link to the Invite on the Style Invitational Devotees group, people sometimes share their "noinks" in the comments. I don't know if anyone did this week.

In addition, there's an email group called Losernet (which isn't as active as it was before the creation of the Devotees group) in which people share their favorite entries after the submission deadline, but before the results run. You can join Losernet (we don't belong so that people can vent without worrying about getting us mad) by applying at this link: https://groups.io/g/losernet . Just tell them that you've gotten ink several times.

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Jon Gearhart's avatar

The participants of LoserNet do not complain about the contest. We share our entire list of entries with the rest of the group. We have had discussions about the best way to overthrow the Czar and Empress. My favorite was the giant cowtapult--cats won't hurt as much nor make as big of a mess.

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Pat Myers's avatar

Watch what you wish for.

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Pat Myers's avatar

And I think this should be the link to the post of today's contest in the Devotees group (you probably have to be a member to see it). https://www.facebook.com/groups/5158028689/?multi_permalinks=10163798564888690&hoisted_section_header_type=recently_seen

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Ev Clark's avatar

I have long enjoyed relaying choice aperçus from your posts to my wife, but after this latest update on Lexi, she's asked me to stop. She is a force-free dog trainer, you see, and your defense of shock training (however mild and equivocal) pissed her off. She gave an eloquent point-by-point rebuttal; when I asked her if she wanted to type up something for me to post here, however, she declined, saying that you'd "drunk the kool-aid."

Since I don't want to have to choose between my marriage and your Substack, I will do my best to convey the substance of her argument here:

1) Dogs have more sensitive necks than humans, so regardless of the "benefit of fur padding", they experience the shock more intensely than we might.

2) When you put on the collar, you consent to the shock and know it's coming. The dog does not consent and does not know it's coming, so it is indeed more of a "shock".

3) The fact that dogs stop a behavior as a result of the shock shows that the fear/pain/confusion (however you want to anthropomorphize it) they feel is significant enough that it counterbalances their strong desire to do the unwanted behavior.

There was more, but I'm smart enough not to make my wife rehash it until she's cooled off.

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Bernie Burson's avatar

Of the honorables, loved head coach and loonies.

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Dale of Green Gables's avatar

Several unanswered questions, none of which involve negative reinforcement --- and perhaps more important in the scheme of things. Were the two weeks you and Rachel were away the longest Lexi had been without you? Was she boarded at the Chantilly kennel before? And had she had prior formal training of any kind? Btw --- you've discovered that positive reinforcement is more effective and certainly far less confusing with less stress than negative reinforcement (even if you assume no or little physical discomfort).

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Gene Weingarten's avatar

This is Gene. I've gotten an inquiry about whether "Imporved" is a typo. It is not. It is an in-joke for Loser Lifers. It was printed as a slogan on an Invitational T-shirt way back in the day. A winning T-shirt slogan contest entry by Cindi Rae Caron. Of Lenoir, N.C.

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Cash Devilry's avatar

In the same category of "Smorked Beef".

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Gene Weingarten's avatar

It is. Smorked beef RECTUM.

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Cash Devilry's avatar

As I was puttering about the yard, I had a moment of clarity that said "you idiot! It's rectum!. Thanks for the correction.

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Jonathan Jensen's avatar

I’ll never look at a speed hump sign the same way again, thanks to Chris Doyle.

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Raymo's avatar

Thanks, but it's behind a paywall

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JefCon 1's avatar

I am certain emojis work on forms because my bestselling book of 2124 was 📚 ➡️ 🤪.

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Linda Spiegler's avatar

Got it : duh--and thanks, Linda

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Not Simple, Ever's avatar

It’s a good contest, thanks for the place, I chuckled at many including Raffman’s “to the right”, a popular step! I learned about Canada: hosers, eager-beavers, double-doubles at Tim’s, and about rodeo: can-chasing, no-scores, re-rides, a fun week.

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Stephen Rockower's avatar

Jon could also try using a product like Dragon Dictate (from Nuance) to help him with his typing.

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Gene Weingarten's avatar

Jon doesn't like voice-to-text because he's always writing, in a house with other people.

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Jon Gearhart's avatar

Even I get annoyed of hearing my own voice after about 15 minutes of it. I'm on my PC all hours of the day and night. Besides, Dragon Dictate has no idea what to do with neologisms and other intentional typoes (like that one), The typing has became very easy for me to do.

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Linda Spiegler's avatar

Please add "none of these" as a voting option

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Gene Weingarten's avatar

it doesn't have to be an option. if it is none of these, you say it here, and choose your favorites from the honorables. If not one of them strikes you as funny, you probably are in the wrong newsletter!

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