45 Comments

My favorite is "in America u don't matter" and my second favorite is SpongeBob and Cher.

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Thanks!

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Okay, I literally loved the winner, mostly because I can see myself giving exactly that response; but Sarah Walsh (in America u don't matter) and Jonathan Jensen (you've been prepositioned) should have been Most Honorable Mentions.

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That entry of Mr. Jensen's reminds me of a bit of journalism lore that, alas, probably isn't true: "In the late-night newsrooms or newspaper row bars, grizzled veterans liked to tell how Loeb approached the wrong man for sex in a prison shower room and was subsequently knifed to death. Then, reverently, grinning, they would recite Lahey's lead from memory: Richard Loeb, a brilliant college student and master of the English language, today ended a sentence with a proposition." https://www.usnews.com/opinion/blogs/john-farrell/2009/12/01/leopold-loeb-and-the-curious-case-of-the-greatest-newspaper-lead-never-written

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Hilarious - glad my entry inspired you to share that!

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I literally loved the winning entry as well, taught to me by my sophomore year high school English teacher. I've put it to good use over the years in "bar bet" situations, and it's especially enjoyable when I answer "No, I can't" while slapping my hand down on those dollar bills.

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Thank you!

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My favorite is the "Excuse me but you are fulsome shit"

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An off week for Duncan - only 5 inks.

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4dEdited

This week's entries were some of the funniest in a long time. So many made me laugh out loud, but I especially liked tilde cows come home and the explanation of i.e.

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I would have chosen some of the honorable mentions, but I'm just some asteriskhole.

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Or if you prefer, an indeterminate oxymoron.

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Oh, no. I'm a very determined oxy-moron.

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Monica's opinion piece from yesterday is absolutely stellar and beautifully stated. Thank you for sharing it.

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We students in the Army Intelligence school in Baltimore soon learned to ask a question directly and not "Can you tell me your name?" Which always got the response "Yes!"

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Unwelcome prepositions are over the top bad behavior.

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But not as bad as verbs. They conjugate --- and in public.

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They interdigitate as well!

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Point of order. Must the English alphabet be used for the Week 114 Invite or may we use equivalent letters? For example, in Tengwar, DOGE is rendered as "shitheads" and sometimes as "unredeemable dicks" depending on local argot.

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Third runner-up (Mashantucket) made me laugh out loud.

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I think there is a mix-up in the poll between the second and first runners up

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Yes - I intended to vote for Jesse's seven Tim Hortons!!!

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Oops! Well, if we edit the poll now, we have discovered, we lose all the votes thus far. So each of the writers of those two entries should assume that he got the most votes between them.

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I'm going with the hors d'oeuvres

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I would ask you to recognize in these days of "sturm und drang," that without the el this would simply be The Gene Poo.

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It behooves me to ask: "How many of you wordsmiths suffer with persistent zeugma, perhaps persistent antanaclasis or maybe now that I think of it, persistent anaphora?"

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I would tell you, but I forgot.

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The important question I need ask my doctor: which expensive drug is right for me?

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Or our favorite figure of speech, aka The Empress (Blessed Is She).

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I love it when you talk dirty.

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ugh sometimes i hate myself, but tim hortons would still have an apostrophe.- after the s not before- but you knew that.

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But not in its name. The name is Tim Hortons. If you use the possessive, I guess you'd say, "I love Tim Hortons' coffee." Unless of course you don't love the coffee.

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The name was originally "Tim Horton's," but when Quebec mandated French as the official provincial language, the "apostrophe s" became problematic since French does not use it to show possession, so it was dropped for consistency sake.

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Quoting the late Johnny Carson, "I did not know that."

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Understood. There are gaping holes in most of our knowledge. For example, until recently, I for one didn't know that 48% of Americans don't get enough magnesium. It probably has also not escaped your notice (if it may have your actual interest) that apostrophes have been regularly disappearing from corporate names for practical reasons beyond marketing in French-speaking districts or countries. Brand visual simplification, and thus quicker recognizability, in a far more visually competitive world, is one --- and perhaps even more important in that world is the practical consideration of online compatibility, whether following domain name rules or playing nice with a variety of platform software.

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ah, not Canadian. whole nother world.

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