Never Have I Ever Played This Stupid Game Before.

Hello. That’s the challenge for this Weekend Gene Pool.

Everyone else has apparently played this game but me. Rachel has played it 6,000 times, because she is, unlike me, fewer than 40 years old. She did it mostly at age nine or so, when all the declarations were some variation of “ … eaten a booger! “ or, depending on one’s gender, “touched a boobie” giggle giggle.

Rachel’s current adult nomination is “ … seen ‘Avatar,’ ‘ which is regrettably something I HAVE done, so she gets a point.

The ball is in your court. You need to come up with something you’ve never done, but most people have, so you earn the point. That’s how you win.

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Win! Send in stuff right here.

Never have I ever failed to eat some food placed before me, even on a dare, once I have been assured that it is considered a delicacy in some cultures, including, in my case, a soup made from fermented human spit, prepared lovingly by native tribes in the Colombian rainforest.

Never have I ever lost a game of darts when I was drunker than the other guy was. It’s just a thing with me.

Never have I ever not owned a dog more than three months after the death of a previous dog. Nor will I.

Never have I ever danced like nobody’s watching.

Never have I ever read the instruction manual first.

Never have I ever eaten some food because, and only because, it was good for me.

Never have I ever voted for a Republican for president, except for that one time.

Kidding! Good God. Who do you take me for?

— Here is today’s Gene Pool Gene Poll:

See you on Tuesday. In the meantime, please give me some money.