ICYMI

Hello.

First, I need to address the headline above. It is the worst initialism out there. Yes, it is supposed to mean “In Case You Missed It,” but it doesn’t intuitively read like that. Intuitively, it reads as something like “I See You, Mr. Ignominy ….”

So.

I See You, Mr. Ignominy.

In case you missed it, what with the death of the Pope on Easter Monday and the ensuing grief and such, I am going to publish Donald Trump’s Easter Greetings to the nation, which he squeezed and grunted out out into his Truth Social Account on Sunday.

But first, some previous inspiring presidential Easter messages:

Bill Clinton, 1996: “ … Just as spring brings warmth and beauty to the earth after a harsh winter, Easter brings joy and new life to the spirit, reminding us that no mistake or failing of the past can put us beyond the reach of God's mercy …

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George W. Bush, 2006: “ … This is a season of renewal, a time for giving thanks and praise and for remembering that hope overcomes despair.”

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Barack Obama, 2009: “… And while we worship in different ways, we also remember the shared spirit of humanity that inhabits us all – Jews and Christians, Muslims and Hindus, believers and nonbelievers alike.”

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Joe Biden, 2024: “We pray for one another and cherish the blessing of the dawn of new possibilities. And with wars and conflict taking a toll on innocent lives around the world, we renew our commitment to work for peace, security, and dignity for all people.”

And now, ladies and gentlemen, ICYMI, I present Donald Trump’s inspiring Easter message from 2025:

"Happy Easter to all, including the Radical Left Lunatics who are fighting and scheming so hard to bring Murderers, Drug Lords, Dangerous Prisoners, the Mentally Insane, and well known MS-13 Gang Members and Wife Beaters, back into our Country. Happy Easter also to the WEAK and INEFFECTIVE Judges and Law Enforcement Officials who are allowing this sinister attack on our Nation to continue, an attack so violent that it will never be forgotten!”

“Sleepy Joe Biden purposefully allowed Millions of CRIMINALS to enter our Country, totally unvetted and unchecked, through an Open Borders Policy that will go down in history as the single most calamitous act ever perpetrated upon America. He was, by far, our WORST and most Incompetent President, a man who had absolutely no idea what he was doing.”

"But to him, and to the person that ran and manipulated the Auto Pen (perhaps our REAL President!), and to all of the people who CHEATED in the 2020 Presidential Election in order to get this highly destructive Moron Elected, I wish you, with great love, sincerity, and affection, a very Happy Easter!!!

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Now, I have to say, grudgingly — and I suspect many of you will agree — that Trump’s was the most entertaining of all those Easter messages. And I am sure that Pope Francis — a man with a good sense of humor, and a lifelong enemy of fascism — will give Mr. Trump a personal, hearty thumb’s up as he momentarily plummets by.

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These two questions just came in, and I would like to respond to them now:

Q: I am not exactly criticizing your Monday column about the death of the pope, and your use of doggerel poetry, but at what point at 6 a.m. — mere hours after the Pontiff breathed his last — did you decide it was okay to be that flip about it?

A: The instant I realized that I could rhyme “Vance’s” and “Francis.”

Q: Wasn’t that headline a bit disrespectful?

A: No. Not if you know what “Adios” means.

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Today’s mercifully unrelated Gene Pool Gene Poll:

Okay, that’s it.

In the spirit of a Trumpian Easter, I dare you NOT to become a paid subscriber and SEE WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU, JACKASS.