I was married for almost 59 years. We dated/broke up for 3 years before. I believed that we shared more aims for a life together than we did. The day we wed, I told our best man/his best friend that I believed I was marrying a big hairy guitar & so it was. I often told friends and family that I'd never divorce him (we both had that in our parents) but I might murder him. I pulled up my big girl pants and dealt. He didn't want to travel, so I traveled alone. We have three great kids. He passed away in the painful, costly way of American death, and I'm still mad and sorry about it and with him. But "Ancient Mariner"-style, "a thousand, thousand slimey things lived on, and so did I."
The issue is intimacy which goes well beyond sex. Sex is easy. Despite its trappings, it is pretty much a reflex action. Intimacy, which most of us really crave, is hard. A veneer built up over a lifetime is difficult to penetrate.
I sometimes used to say that “I discovered that I couldn’t do casual sex, to my horror, in college.”. If I was not interested in the person, I was not interested in the act either. I’m well aware that this is not an impediment shared by all.
JUDGES WHO ARE ON A MISSION TO KEEP MURDERERS, DRUG DEALERS, RAPISTS, GANG MEMBERS, AND RELEASED PRISONERS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD, IN OUR COUNTRY SO THEY CAN ROB, MURDER AND RAPE AGAIN—ALL PROTECTED BY THESE USA HATING JUDGES WHO SUFFER FROM AN IDEOLOGY THAT IS SICK, AND VERY DANGEROUS FOR OUR COUNTRY.”
Only a raving lunatic could say that. I do not use "raving lunatic" in a derogatory way, but in a descriptive way. It is an objective fact that he is a raving lunatic. I wish that the media would note that once in a while instead of sane-washing him. Can you imagine any past president speaking like that? I'd be hard pressed even to imagine Marjorie Taylor Greene or Lauren Boebert speaking like that. They're also raving lunatics, but I don't think that they're as crazy as Trump.
That proves my point. Only a raving lunatic would believe what he said. If he didn't believe it but thought that it would help him politically to say it, then he might not be a raving lunatic - just a despicable person.
I feel her observation applies to her and some others, but not all people. I am not sure that every date is shallow, and every long marriage has great depth. My late uncle and aunt were married for 45 years when they divorced. The shared reaction by family and friends - "Yeah, we never thought that marriage would work out."
I don't think she was saying every long marriage has great depth, but that long marriage is how you find great depth. Not everyone does, or is even capable, or gets the opportunity. Even people who are able and willing to learn from their mistakes (and that's but a fraction of everyone who considers themselves to have "experience") don't necessarily get to learn what they only can by living through what Mitchell is talking about.
Dan Shaughnessy We're 84. We've been married 64 years. Five kids, 10 grandchildren, nine great grandchildren (at last count). We've been around; done a lot of things. It's been great; still is. Don't overcomplicate it.
I relate to this from another type of experience: We have moved often for work. It is so tiring to be over and over again introducing yourself to people. Talking with people who already know your back-story is so much easier and fulfilling.
I agree. But on the other hand, at my age, it is also kind of fun to meet new people and know for sure you aren’t repeating your stories. But I wouldn’t want to live with those people.
Shared experience can be an important basis for a relationship, which is why May-December marriages can be challenging. When your partner doesn't recognize any of the history you've lived through (music groups, for example), it's harder to connect.
Then share them together later on. I took time to make Roquefort cheese a learned taste and would go to a place in Virginia to buy French bread and cheese and it was great. After I married I took my wife to get some and she now says "it was wonderful at first bite..." And the acquired taste for me became a shared experience. And we still enjoy that as a treat. It can work this way, too.
Thank you (from another Suzanne) for not writing "Suzanne and I." Next month will be 58 years for Barney and me, and we're still talking. What can be really revelatory, though, is hearing your partner tell one of your children/grandchildren a story you've never heard!
I guess certain circumstances remind us of specific events. Or it might be a story one had heard before and forgotten? And then there are the stories my father told us repeatedly, but, as they were not written down, none of us can quite remember all the details because we weren't paying enough attention--so frustrating!
I remember something like this from dating. There’s the whole reveal process. It gets repetitive. But also polished. It becomes performance like, and tiring.
This woman, who has excelled at painting and mega-excelled in music, is an utter genius. I’m glad you are finding some of the same things that have impressed me for almost 50 years. Early Joni, Middle Joni, Late Joni, makes no matter; she’s the real deal. Did you know she has used at least 45 separate guitar tunings? That in itself shows how she is able to think outside the box so easily and productively.
Many of life's great pleasures have at least 30 year differences from the more common. I'm about to indulge in just such a relationship with one of Islay's finest 30-year-olds.
I’ve been married for 54 years and he’s the only person I ever dated as well. I had to disagree as a woman because I never had the repetition option (hmmm). We’ve managed to not kill each other many times but still find things to laugh about - movies, music, Gene Weingarten, etc. I wouldn’t trade my husband for anything (at least not today).
I heard an interview with George Clooney from many years ago, about when he first moved to Hollywood and was crashing with his aunt, the singer Rosemary Clooney. He said, that she said, that she had never sung better than in her elder years. She no longer had the range, she no longer had the tonal quality or stamina of her youth. But she had experience, and it came through in her singing and invested the same old songs with so much more meaning.
I love that you added Joni singing at the end. I've been a fan for 50 years, and never tire off her voice. That version of Both Sides Now is so rich with her seasoned voice
Joni's 2000 version of Both Sides Now has so much more emotional depth than her first version on the Clouds album. That Rolling Stone lists Both Sides Now as Number 170 on its 500 Greatest Songs list is testimony to Rolling Stone being bursting with bullshit.
I was married for almost 59 years. We dated/broke up for 3 years before. I believed that we shared more aims for a life together than we did. The day we wed, I told our best man/his best friend that I believed I was marrying a big hairy guitar & so it was. I often told friends and family that I'd never divorce him (we both had that in our parents) but I might murder him. I pulled up my big girl pants and dealt. He didn't want to travel, so I traveled alone. We have three great kids. He passed away in the painful, costly way of American death, and I'm still mad and sorry about it and with him. But "Ancient Mariner"-style, "a thousand, thousand slimey things lived on, and so did I."
The issue is intimacy which goes well beyond sex. Sex is easy. Despite its trappings, it is pretty much a reflex action. Intimacy, which most of us really crave, is hard. A veneer built up over a lifetime is difficult to penetrate.
I sometimes used to say that “I discovered that I couldn’t do casual sex, to my horror, in college.”. If I was not interested in the person, I was not interested in the act either. I’m well aware that this is not an impediment shared by all.
We are too used to Trump. Reread what he said:
JUDGES WHO ARE ON A MISSION TO KEEP MURDERERS, DRUG DEALERS, RAPISTS, GANG MEMBERS, AND RELEASED PRISONERS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD, IN OUR COUNTRY SO THEY CAN ROB, MURDER AND RAPE AGAIN—ALL PROTECTED BY THESE USA HATING JUDGES WHO SUFFER FROM AN IDEOLOGY THAT IS SICK, AND VERY DANGEROUS FOR OUR COUNTRY.”
Only a raving lunatic could say that. I do not use "raving lunatic" in a derogatory way, but in a descriptive way. It is an objective fact that he is a raving lunatic. I wish that the media would note that once in a while instead of sane-washing him. Can you imagine any past president speaking like that? I'd be hard pressed even to imagine Marjorie Taylor Greene or Lauren Boebert speaking like that. They're also raving lunatics, but I don't think that they're as crazy as Trump.
I am not full of answers, but this really looks like Trump does believe his own propaganda and is dumb enough to say that.
That proves my point. Only a raving lunatic would believe what he said. If he didn't believe it but thought that it would help him politically to say it, then he might not be a raving lunatic - just a despicable person.
I feel her observation applies to her and some others, but not all people. I am not sure that every date is shallow, and every long marriage has great depth. My late uncle and aunt were married for 45 years when they divorced. The shared reaction by family and friends - "Yeah, we never thought that marriage would work out."
I don't think she was saying every long marriage has great depth, but that long marriage is how you find great depth. Not everyone does, or is even capable, or gets the opportunity. Even people who are able and willing to learn from their mistakes (and that's but a fraction of everyone who considers themselves to have "experience") don't necessarily get to learn what they only can by living through what Mitchell is talking about.
Dan Shaughnessy We're 84. We've been married 64 years. Five kids, 10 grandchildren, nine great grandchildren (at last count). We've been around; done a lot of things. It's been great; still is. Don't overcomplicate it.
I relate to this from another type of experience: We have moved often for work. It is so tiring to be over and over again introducing yourself to people. Talking with people who already know your back-story is so much easier and fulfilling.
I agree. But on the other hand, at my age, it is also kind of fun to meet new people and know for sure you aren’t repeating your stories. But I wouldn’t want to live with those people.
Shared experience can be an important basis for a relationship, which is why May-December marriages can be challenging. When your partner doesn't recognize any of the history you've lived through (music groups, for example), it's harder to connect.
Then share them together later on. I took time to make Roquefort cheese a learned taste and would go to a place in Virginia to buy French bread and cheese and it was great. After I married I took my wife to get some and she now says "it was wonderful at first bite..." And the acquired taste for me became a shared experience. And we still enjoy that as a treat. It can work this way, too.
This year will be 53 years for Suzanne and me in marriage. It has been a wonderful conversation that has more to say. And hear.
Thank you (from another Suzanne) for not writing "Suzanne and I." Next month will be 58 years for Barney and me, and we're still talking. What can be really revelatory, though, is hearing your partner tell one of your children/grandchildren a story you've never heard!
Are you able to refrain from asking them why they were holding out?
I guess certain circumstances remind us of specific events. Or it might be a story one had heard before and forgotten? And then there are the stories my father told us repeatedly, but, as they were not written down, none of us can quite remember all the details because we weren't paying enough attention--so frustrating!
I remember something like this from dating. There’s the whole reveal process. It gets repetitive. But also polished. It becomes performance like, and tiring.
This woman, who has excelled at painting and mega-excelled in music, is an utter genius. I’m glad you are finding some of the same things that have impressed me for almost 50 years. Early Joni, Middle Joni, Late Joni, makes no matter; she’s the real deal. Did you know she has used at least 45 separate guitar tunings? That in itself shows how she is able to think outside the box so easily and productively.
Many of life's great pleasures have at least 30 year differences from the more common. I'm about to indulge in just such a relationship with one of Islay's finest 30-year-olds.
I had a feeling that referred to scotch!
Now you’re talking
I’ve been married for 54 years and he’s the only person I ever dated as well. I had to disagree as a woman because I never had the repetition option (hmmm). We’ve managed to not kill each other many times but still find things to laugh about - movies, music, Gene Weingarten, etc. I wouldn’t trade my husband for anything (at least not today).
Exquisite. Maybe even better than her first recording.
I heard an interview with George Clooney from many years ago, about when he first moved to Hollywood and was crashing with his aunt, the singer Rosemary Clooney. He said, that she said, that she had never sung better than in her elder years. She no longer had the range, she no longer had the tonal quality or stamina of her youth. But she had experience, and it came through in her singing and invested the same old songs with so much more meaning.
I love that you added Joni singing at the end. I've been a fan for 50 years, and never tire off her voice. That version of Both Sides Now is so rich with her seasoned voice
Joni's 2000 version of Both Sides Now has so much more emotional depth than her first version on the Clouds album. That Rolling Stone lists Both Sides Now as Number 170 on its 500 Greatest Songs list is testimony to Rolling Stone being bursting with bullshit.
The man is badly damaged. Not even sure he coughs up his Lie Social sputum. He certainly isn't capable of governing.
I’m sort of glad you refrained from trashing our president in name only (PINO). Wait, I think you did slam him!