A Case of Mono

Hello.

Today I am going to deviate from the norm and not deal with the latest insanities and inanities from a cruel, tyrannical ignoramus intent on world domination, and will not chronicle his latest blathering on trophy wives, drag queens, golf, his attempt to extort institutions of higher education to bend to his will, and his most recent rampage against “JUDGES WHO ARE ON A MISSION TO KEEP MURDERERS, DRUG DEALERS, RAPISTS, GANG MEMBERS, AND RELEASED PRISONERS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD, IN OUR COUNTRY SO THEY CAN ROB, MURDER AND RAPE AGAIN—ALL PROTECTED BY THESE USA HATING JUDGES WHO SUFFER FROM AN IDEOLOGY THAT IS SICK, AND VERY DANGEROUS FOR OUR COUNTRY.”

We will leave that for tomorrow or the next day. It is frankly exhausting, which I believe is his intention, if he has an intention other than spreading fear and chaos among the stupid. Instead, I would like to talk about Joni Mitchell’s views on love and monogamy.

There is a quote attributed to Ms. Mitchell that has been making the rounds of the internet. I have not confirmed it is actually from her, but that is sort of immaterial. It’s the thought that counts, and the thought, to me, is intriguing — worth parsing and discussion.

Here it is, in its entirety:

“I don’t know if I’ve learned anything yet! I did learn how to have a happy home, but I consider myself fortunate in that regard because I could’ve rolled right by it. Everybody has a superficial side and a deep side, but this culture doesn’t place much value on depth — we don’t have shamans or soothsayers, and depth isn’t encouraged or understood. Surrounded by this shallow, glossy society we develop a shallow side, too, and we become attracted to fluff. That’s reflected in the fact that this culture sets up an addiction to romance based on insecurity — the uncertainty of whether or not you’re truly united with the object of your obsession is the rush people get hooked on. I’ve seen this pattern so much in myself and my friends and some people never get off that line.

“But along with developing my superficial side, I always nurtured a deeper longing, so even when I was falling into the trap of that other kind of love, I was hip to what I was doing.I recently read an article in Esquire magazine called ‘The End of Sex,’ that said something that struck me as very true. It said: “If you want endless repetition, see a lot of different people. If you want infinite variety, stay with one.”

“What happens when you date is you run all your best moves and tell all your best stories — and in a way, that routine is a method for falling in love with yourself over and over.

“You can’t do that with a longtime mate because he knows all that old material. With a long relationship, things die then are rekindled, and that shared process of rebirth deepens the love. It’s hard work, though, and a lot of people run at the first sign of trouble. You’re with this person, and suddenly you look like an asshole to them or they look like an asshole to you — it’s unpleasant, but if you can get through it you get closer and you learn a way of loving that’s different from the neurotic love enshrined in movies. It’s warmer and has more padding to it.”

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Today’s Gene Pool Gene Poll:

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My only addition to this discussion is that because I am 73 and at least three-quarters senile, and Rachel is 40 and totally sharp, I keep telling her the same stories without remembering that I had told them before. She seldom or never informs me of that, which is also a kind of love.

Also, we might watch a movie of her choosing that I really like, and I tell her how great it was, and she informs me that we saw it three years ago.

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Here is Joni, singing Both Sides Now in 2000. It is haunting, especially in context.

Okay, that’s it for today. I would love to hear your extended thoughts on this issue. Please send them to the orange Questions and Observations Button.

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