28 Comments

My daughter is a server at a popular restaurant in Old Town Alexandria. I am sure that she did not see Gene’s description of MAGA wives and I know that I did not share it with her. The other day, she was describing to me having to deal with tables full of people celebrating the inauguration. At one point, she said, “They probably thought that I agreed with them ‘cause I’m a blonde.”

Expand full comment

I feel sorry for all service employees in the DMZ that have to deal with MAGAts. I doubt they tip well, if at all. Your daughter has my sympathy.

Expand full comment

MAGAs eat at Thai restaurants? In (relatively) downscale neighborhoods?

Expand full comment

There goes the neighborhood.

Expand full comment

That was my thought also! 😋

Expand full comment

May be more lizard here than meets the eye. There is "Gordon Gekko" ("Greed, for lack of a better word, is good") Michael Douglas's character from the two "Wall Street" movies, named after the slick, voracious and chameleon-like gecko --- which, in keeping with the general tone established by Dear Leader, tends to poop in the same place, I'm reliably informed. Thought you'd like to know. Then, of course, there are the "lizard people" of conspiracy theorists like David Icke --- seriously claimed to be shapeshifting reptilian aliens who have taken humanoid form and have gained political power to manipulate native humans. By one um...estimate...there are 12M Americans of reptile descent. As batshit crazy as this appears (to most), it is, in fact, a very old trope with disturbing links to anti-immigrant and anti-Semitic hostilities dating to the 19th century. So, in his inimitable way --- dare I say, omniscience --- Dear Leader has again unconsciously gone beyond the merely amusing by dropping a lizard into the Pool.

Expand full comment

I’m liking the “Dear Leader” moniker… have been trying to find something to avoid saying the name. So far all I have is FeS2(fool’s gold)

Expand full comment

My friends and I have named him TP because he's full of it.

Expand full comment

Right from the gecko? 😂😂 I think language in this country is doomed! “Brooch with woman” is very catchy - and thank you for spelling it correctly instead of “broach,” which is how if usually see it spelled these days. (Folks evidently unaware that it’s something else entirely.)

Expand full comment

Dinner with the brownshirts after a coup engineered by the richest man in the world.

Expand full comment

I was fully aware of copyright traps—I work in the corporate world, after all—but I didn’t know about Lillian Virginia Mountweazel until I read your column. What a delight!

Expand full comment

Re: Gecko v. get go: When I was in 4th grade, I remember being admonished for writing "Next store neighbor" on a paper. That's how I heard it, without analyzing the meaning of the phrase. However, I now propose that in the olden days when people commonly lived above the store, you would say, "Oh, I'm NEXT STORE." from the butcher." Hence, I stand by "next store" neighbor.

Expand full comment

The best analysis/autopsy of the election came from Matt Yglesias the day before the election: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/11/04/opinion/trump-harris-inflation.html

And yes, I clicked on the link to Lillian Virginia Mountweazel.

Expand full comment

The get-go/gecko conflation is hilarious because the gecko as a mascot is based on a poor pronunciation of GEICO which originally stood for Government Employees Insurance Company but is now seemingly open to all comers, not just fed workers like at the get go.

Expand full comment

The Washington Nationals usually have a Kids Eat Free pro motion each season. My wife and I refer to it as Eat Kids for Free.

Expand full comment

As a person whose homelife is surrounded by geckos day in and day out — some of which my cats catch, others I smash with a heavy duty flyswatter(but only the ones indoors, before the cats catch them) — I am an overjoyed giggling idiot to have acquired a new handy phrase. 💕 Mahalo.

Expand full comment

I am curious, since you saw MAGAs in the wild, do they use utensils when eating, or is it simply fingers and face in plate? Also - is the meat ever cooked, or do they always eat it raw? I'm told they prefer to eat endangered specials (except cat and dogs in Springfield, OH - sort of culinary homage to the Great Liar.) I also I assume, but perhaps wrongly, they consume no vegetables - with the exception of weed. Can you verify? Inquiring minds want to know.

Expand full comment

I’m pretty sure that MAGAts feed on overcooked New York strip steak (slathered with ketchup); limp, stubby, over-salted fries; side salad of iceberg lettuce (Russian dressing, of course); finished with a dish of cheap, sugary, vanilla soft-serve ice cream (topped with nuts!)

Expand full comment

I think Sreinlaus is a great name for a rock band.

Expand full comment

*Steinlaus* (but I agree).

Expand full comment

Fat fingers early in the morning. :-)

Expand full comment

I prefer a 4th choice on the quiz: I pressed it then and shall now gleefully spread its usage myself!

Expand full comment

Imitation may indeed be the sincerest form of flattery, according to the estimable Oscar, but it's more likely to get you sued in these litigious times. Hence the use of "mountweazels"

(by the way, mounting a weasel is both difficult and dangerous) and other fictitious entries designed to both protect intellectual property and help send IP lawyers' kids to college. Another of the infamous fake words used as copyright "gotchas" was "esquivalience," a dictionary entry supposedly meaning, "the unlawful avoidance of one’s official responsibilities." Then there are the bogus "trap" streets and even towns beloved of cartographers, as well as the "honeytokens" such as phoney email addresses and similar made-up digital elements or assets used in the cybersphere. All of which raise the questions of what exactly can be copyrighted or legally protected in some way --- the answers to which are billable and thus encouraged by IP attorneys with kids about to go off to college or the orthodontist For example, you may or may not be able to trademark your own name --- and while names, titles, slogans and short phrases are generally not copyrightable (but may be eligible to be trademarked), a logo combining several of these elements may be, if it is distinctive enough.

Expand full comment

Re Right from the Gecko, I invite you to peruse the subreddit r/BoneAppleTea.

Expand full comment