26 Comments

Just wanted to compliment Pat, Gene and thank donor Pie Snelson for the the inspired Invitational No. 5 prize of "Farts: A Spotter's Guide" (complete with an audio aid). Turns out it's part of a splendid "Spotter's Guide" fart canon. There's also: "Farts Around the World;" which answers such metaphysical questions as, if a meditating Buddhist passes gas, does it exist; "Farts in the Wild," in which fauna flatulence is examined in all of its natural redolence; "Jurassic Farts," on prehistoric passing; and "Old Farts" --- how to get those kids off your lawn without shouting. All with odorless fart simulators. Hours of endless annoyance.

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Bob Dole was born the same year as Bill Clinton's mother -- but the following month, so he would have been safe from this new presidential rule.

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Clarification please Pat. Does the "Farts: A Spotter's Guide" book come with its original battery-powered fart device I see on the cover? Or will you claim it for your own delectation ? Without it, I fear the "Circles of Hell" would generate only half-hearted attempts likely to get stuck in "Limbo."

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Yes, it's built in. Does the battery still work? Possibly!

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For those of you wondering about "Bongbong" Marcos, president of the Philippines (anyone ?) --- he claims to have received tickets for the first commercial flight to the moon from Richard Nixon. Wonder if Elon will charge him a penalty ? Btw --- the nickname "BongBong" has nothing to do with either his drug habits or the past tense of Gerald McBoing-Boing.

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I may be humor-impaired, but I don't get the Massengill joke.

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Massengill as in douche.

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February 3, 2023
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what is this?

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I don't know how I posted that link here.

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Speaking of a Circle of Hell. Many would consider wherever they happened to be seated watching an opera to be one. Yes --- I confess --- I was among the great unenlightened, but have since acknowledged the error of my ways. In some circles that would be called the result of the withholding of sexual favors. But I regress. I will say what probably turned me around was the realization that the performance of an opera audience is often more entertaining than the action on the stage. Now — anyone can yell "Bravo!" and applaud, as etiquette dictates, after an aria, an ensemble or an act — but the true opera buff can run through an entire cast by gender and number ("Bravo!" "Brava!" "Bravi!" "Brave!" along with the -issimos and -issimas) and often rapturously applauds at will — especially if a singer has paused, almost imperceptibly, to take a breath. And if you think the three hours you usually spend waiting for Tosca (spoiler alert) to fling herself over a parapet is excessive, try sitting through an uncut version of Wagner’s "Die Meistersinger von Nürnberg" at roughly six hours without visions of a beverage and a bathroom dancing in your head. Does wonders for bladder control.

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My favorite is when the characters stab themselves and then sing about it. Good thing they missed the lungs again.

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Gene, did you throw away all of Tuesday's questions that didn't get responses?

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Happy to congratulate Pie Snelson for contributing such a great prize! Nice to have met you at the party!

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Pie Snelsen should run for Congress, so we can use their name in a future Invitational Joint Legislation act. Just sayin'.

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THANK YOU for making the Gene Pool/Invitational all one long email! I was getting confused between all the missives and hadn't yet entered - we easily-distracted types appreciate it!

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I was forced at gunpoint. It was the right decision.

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I’m the person who suggested the Circle of Hell invitational. I believe in my suggestion I included the example of a traffic engineer who designed the Springfield Mixing Bowl being consigned to a Circle of Hell that resembled said Mixing Bowl in his dream car, suffering the dings & crashes of outrageous fortune. I am a Founding Member of the Gene Pool, long time fan. I never saw a place for a name, hence the nonattribution. Deb Grosner, Winchester

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Well, Deb. You get this mention and you get a plaque in the Invitational Hall of Fame. The question prompt does ask for a name, but people seem fine to ignore that, and I have no problem with anonymity.

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II think she means there is no specific field for name, so people aren't prompted to enter it in order to submit. We are all so used to online forms that require name, address, phone #, etc. so this lends itself more easiliy to anonymity, even if it isn't the actual goal. Could you fix the question form to have a name field? Not sure how complicated that is, but it might help. It appeatrs that names appear automatically in the comments but not in the questions, i guess it's a different form.

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Thanks, Deb!

This means that your name -- along with an anagram of said name -- will appear in the Loser Stats on the One Hit Wonders list. See NRARS.org, the Losers' website. Welcome to Loserdom!

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An anagram of Deb Grosner is "Red Bong Res".

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I also see DR BEER SONG and BRO'S GENDER.

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GENDER ORBS

DREG'S BONER

And she should register the Domain BENDERS.ORG...

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Actually, Deb, if you'd like a Fir Stink for your First Ink, you'll need to send me your mailing address. You can send it to Gene as a question.

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And Gene is right about the Invitational Hall of Fame, as soon as you get 499 more blots of ink. I will, however, send you a Fir Stink for your First Ink. See the description in the contest.

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