I don’t even have a dog, but I am a retired behavioral specialist (human behavior). I really don’t want to be judgmental because you did what you felt you needed to do.
But aversive therapies are extremely problematic for a number of reasons. I think you are witnessing how such approaches can alter behavior in unexpected and unwanted ways. Keep the hot dog morsels, but trash the electric collar. And good luck. You’re already on the way to getting your Lexi back!
As an experienced Sheltie and Border Collie rescuer, I have to agree with Luther and Lynn. I flinched when Gene wrote "shock collar." I've helped train many dogs, some in pretty bad emotional states. 😔 (I'm sorry, Gene. I mean no disrespect). Always positive training techniques.
2 paws up. I have over my life adopted and lived with over 2 dozen rescue dogs, many with histories of abuse and severe behavioral issues. The one approach that always worked for me is rewarding good behavior, and interrupting bad behavior: distraction, interruption of attention, or at its most extreme, temporarily isolating the dog from the pack (putting it outside on its own, or in a bedroom, etc). When the distraction or isolation period was over, perhaps 10 or 15 minutes, I would welcome the dog as if nothing had occurred. Do not reward bad behavior (like giving food to a dog to get them to be quiet)... ignore, distract, or isolate. It works 100% of the time, and can change behavior in days or weeks. No need to yell at a dog, shock a dog, hit a dog, etc. They don't understand that and it just makes them misbehave more or in new ways. Plus, kind of sucks to be cruel to them, you know.
Typed a long piece about Mary the dog, but Substack says it wants a title and I don't see anyplace to give it a title. Anyway she was a great loving docile German shepherd (for the most part), who'd failed obedience school but showed a side to her we'd never seen when 2 kids with guns approached us one night. Apparently she had this crazy protector side to her we didn't know. We're here because of her; Mary is long gone, still missed. Always her own person, loving to the end--and still missed and loved decades later. Just saw the chance with today's column to write about Mary.
I suggest the "new" Lexi has something to do with being back home with you and Rachel after a two week strange and disturbing experience. "Whatever you say pops. Just don't send me back there." It may just be love after all.
I know you were motivated by love and safety, so I am not criticizing. I encourage others needing dog training, even after multiple attempts, to seek alternatives to shock collars.
I’m silver-haired (now) but when I dream I still have dark brunette hair. In some dreams this dark hair troubles me as my dream-self has obviously dyed it and growing it out was a year-long ordeal—even now in my dreams it is a bad memory.
Anyway, I have always been attracted to light-eyed gingers (think Jamie in Outlander) yet as I get older I prefer men with little hair and some miles on them (see Dougal from the same show). And somehow with all this, I married a dark-eyed scruffy hippie with unruly brown locks, and I like the looks of him just fine.
All this to say (maybe?) that hair and its color come and go, but a cute guy can be cute at any age and with any coloring.
Thank you for letting me tell a long pointless story. Letting me tell a story makes me find the other person very attractive indeed.
Years ago, those "electric fences" were all the rage. I had a somewhat large dog, a medium-sized suburban backyard, and thought it might be a good idea. We installed it and carefully did the training. The idea is that the dog wears a shock collar at all times while in the back yard. It will "buzz" at him when he is about a foot away from the line where the electric fence is buried. That buzz tells him "back off! Go no further!" But if he does go on to cross that line, then he gets shocked. That is supposed to make him associate the buzz with a warning that he will get shocked if he goes further.
What my dog learned was that the buzz meant "jump!" When he heard the sound, he would promptly do a long jump, going happily over the line so he could then wander around my neighbor's yard. But of course he would never do it in reverse, never jump back over the line into our own yard.
It also taught him that he couldn't completely trust us anymore, since if he followed us up to that line, he would get a shock. Not what we wanted him to learn!
We threw the collar away, tore out the whole system, and built a proper physical fence. Everyone was much happier and safer.
I never notice eye color at all. I hardly even notice hair color because so many of the people I associate with these days have grey/white hair. What I do notice is thick hair. I especially envy women with thick white hair (mine is grey and very thin and limp). In my next life I am going to be tall and skinny and have thick hair!
I had to put down my 11-year-old, 125-lb German Shepherd a week ago Friday. Training is a life-long adventure. You need to be ever mindful and ready with high-value treats when encountering other dogs. Good luck.
I am a professional dog trainer who deals with unwanted dog behaviors as well as plan old training. You are welcome to send me a private message if you want to discuss Lexi's severance. BTW severance is an apropos analogy.
My wife, a certified force-free dog trainer, authorized me to post this comment on her behalf:
I'm sorry for the confusion, guilt, and unease you've experienced since boarding Lexi. You put your trust in professional trainers, of course assuming that they knew what they were doing, and that they were speaking the truth about electric shock being the best training method to resolve Lexi's issues.
The problem is that the dog training industry is unregulated. Literally anyone can call themselves a professional trainer regardless of the quality of their education, experience, or credentials. And there are many trainers who continue to use outdated methods, ignoring (or flat-out denying) decades of research that tell us training with fear, pain, or intimidation (shock in particular) has the unwanted side effect of increasing fear and aggression. They repeatedly say the only way to save certain "difficult" dogs is with shock, prong collars, choke chains. They are either lying or they don't know what they're doing. There are plenty of ethical, competent trainers who specialize in helping fearful, reactive, and aggressive dogs without resorting to forceful methods. Here are a few places to check:
It's wonderful that you love Lexi for who she is and care so much about doing right by her. I hope you're able to find a trainer who will do right by her, too.
Kathleen Alvania CTC, FPPE, FFCP, CPDT-KA
P.S. The reason shock etc appears to work in the short-term is that the barking/lunging/growling behaviors are being punished with pain, so they decrease. But making the behaviors go away doesn't address the underlying emotional discomfort that's causing them. You then have an uncomfortable, "shut-down" dog who doesn't give warning signs and can wind up biting "out of nowhere." An ethical trainer will 1) avoid triggering the dog, and 2) work to change the dog's emotional state around the trigger, usually by pairing it with something the dog loves (like amazing food). This is, of course, an extremely simplified explanation of a complex process.
I don’t even have a dog, but I am a retired behavioral specialist (human behavior). I really don’t want to be judgmental because you did what you felt you needed to do.
But aversive therapies are extremely problematic for a number of reasons. I think you are witnessing how such approaches can alter behavior in unexpected and unwanted ways. Keep the hot dog morsels, but trash the electric collar. And good luck. You’re already on the way to getting your Lexi back!
Luther Jett
As an experienced Sheltie and Border Collie rescuer, I have to agree with Luther and Lynn. I flinched when Gene wrote "shock collar." I've helped train many dogs, some in pretty bad emotional states. 😔 (I'm sorry, Gene. I mean no disrespect). Always positive training techniques.
Agreed. I could not for a minute pretend that any sort of negative feedback training is necessary or appropriate.
2 paws up. I have over my life adopted and lived with over 2 dozen rescue dogs, many with histories of abuse and severe behavioral issues. The one approach that always worked for me is rewarding good behavior, and interrupting bad behavior: distraction, interruption of attention, or at its most extreme, temporarily isolating the dog from the pack (putting it outside on its own, or in a bedroom, etc). When the distraction or isolation period was over, perhaps 10 or 15 minutes, I would welcome the dog as if nothing had occurred. Do not reward bad behavior (like giving food to a dog to get them to be quiet)... ignore, distract, or isolate. It works 100% of the time, and can change behavior in days or weeks. No need to yell at a dog, shock a dog, hit a dog, etc. They don't understand that and it just makes them misbehave more or in new ways. Plus, kind of sucks to be cruel to them, you know.
Typed a long piece about Mary the dog, but Substack says it wants a title and I don't see anyplace to give it a title. Anyway she was a great loving docile German shepherd (for the most part), who'd failed obedience school but showed a side to her we'd never seen when 2 kids with guns approached us one night. Apparently she had this crazy protector side to her we didn't know. We're here because of her; Mary is long gone, still missed. Always her own person, loving to the end--and still missed and loved decades later. Just saw the chance with today's column to write about Mary.
I suggest the "new" Lexi has something to do with being back home with you and Rachel after a two week strange and disturbing experience. "Whatever you say pops. Just don't send me back there." It may just be love after all.
I know you were motivated by love and safety, so I am not criticizing. I encourage others needing dog training, even after multiple attempts, to seek alternatives to shock collars.
https://spca.bc.ca/ways-to-help/take-action/animals-in-the-home/the-shocking-truth-about-electronic-collars/
https://kb.rspca.org.au/knowledge-base/what-are-the-animal-welfare-issues-with-electric-shock-collars-on-dogs/
I’m silver-haired (now) but when I dream I still have dark brunette hair. In some dreams this dark hair troubles me as my dream-self has obviously dyed it and growing it out was a year-long ordeal—even now in my dreams it is a bad memory.
Anyway, I have always been attracted to light-eyed gingers (think Jamie in Outlander) yet as I get older I prefer men with little hair and some miles on them (see Dougal from the same show). And somehow with all this, I married a dark-eyed scruffy hippie with unruly brown locks, and I like the looks of him just fine.
All this to say (maybe?) that hair and its color come and go, but a cute guy can be cute at any age and with any coloring.
Thank you for letting me tell a long pointless story. Letting me tell a story makes me find the other person very attractive indeed.
My wife's first husband was good looking and had great hair. Why she gave him up for a 'squatch I'll never know. But I'm grateful.
Bigfoots, big um shoes. Or so the expression goes
Years ago, those "electric fences" were all the rage. I had a somewhat large dog, a medium-sized suburban backyard, and thought it might be a good idea. We installed it and carefully did the training. The idea is that the dog wears a shock collar at all times while in the back yard. It will "buzz" at him when he is about a foot away from the line where the electric fence is buried. That buzz tells him "back off! Go no further!" But if he does go on to cross that line, then he gets shocked. That is supposed to make him associate the buzz with a warning that he will get shocked if he goes further.
What my dog learned was that the buzz meant "jump!" When he heard the sound, he would promptly do a long jump, going happily over the line so he could then wander around my neighbor's yard. But of course he would never do it in reverse, never jump back over the line into our own yard.
It also taught him that he couldn't completely trust us anymore, since if he followed us up to that line, he would get a shock. Not what we wanted him to learn!
We threw the collar away, tore out the whole system, and built a proper physical fence. Everyone was much happier and safer.
Jack M.
What is this “hair” of which you write? I think I might have had more in the distant past.
I never notice eye color at all. I hardly even notice hair color because so many of the people I associate with these days have grey/white hair. What I do notice is thick hair. I especially envy women with thick white hair (mine is grey and very thin and limp). In my next life I am going to be tall and skinny and have thick hair!
I dunno. Who wants fat hair?
My 60 year-old wife has hair that women in their early 50s would kill to have.
I had to put down my 11-year-old, 125-lb German Shepherd a week ago Friday. Training is a life-long adventure. You need to be ever mindful and ready with high-value treats when encountering other dogs. Good luck.
I'm sorry William, losing our furfriends is always rough.
I am a professional dog trainer who deals with unwanted dog behaviors as well as plan old training. You are welcome to send me a private message if you want to discuss Lexi's severance. BTW severance is an apropos analogy.
I'm green-eyed and I am now annoyed.
Because you do not wish to be lumped with blue?
Of course not, it is completely different. Some people with what they call gray eyes could maybe be pale blue. But not green.
Most definitely not!
Well, the limitation of the poll (not "pool," BTW) to five choices does make for some uncomfortable bundling.
Imagine how much more it annoys ME.
You forgot about us redheads too!
Same here. I’m a green eyed redhead.
Green-eyed redheads are in a category of their own.
Rrrrrrrrrrr---Owwwww!!!!
I'm Scottish and I'm offended.
I'm Scottish, and I'm offended.
Ditto!
All eye and hair colors can be beautiful and it just depends on how I feel about the person who owns them
My wife, a certified force-free dog trainer, authorized me to post this comment on her behalf:
I'm sorry for the confusion, guilt, and unease you've experienced since boarding Lexi. You put your trust in professional trainers, of course assuming that they knew what they were doing, and that they were speaking the truth about electric shock being the best training method to resolve Lexi's issues.
The problem is that the dog training industry is unregulated. Literally anyone can call themselves a professional trainer regardless of the quality of their education, experience, or credentials. And there are many trainers who continue to use outdated methods, ignoring (or flat-out denying) decades of research that tell us training with fear, pain, or intimidation (shock in particular) has the unwanted side effect of increasing fear and aggression. They repeatedly say the only way to save certain "difficult" dogs is with shock, prong collars, choke chains. They are either lying or they don't know what they're doing. There are plenty of ethical, competent trainers who specialize in helping fearful, reactive, and aggressive dogs without resorting to forceful methods. Here are a few places to check:
Animal Positive Coalition https://www.animalpositivecoalition.com/directory (force-free animal professionals throughout Mid-Atlantic)
The Academy for Dog Trainers graduate search https://academyfordogtrainers.com/trainers/ (consider virtual trainers too - there are some excellent ones here)
Pet Professional Guild member search https://www.petprofessionalguild.com/find-a-ppg-professional/
It's wonderful that you love Lexi for who she is and care so much about doing right by her. I hope you're able to find a trainer who will do right by her, too.
Kathleen Alvania CTC, FPPE, FFCP, CPDT-KA
P.S. The reason shock etc appears to work in the short-term is that the barking/lunging/growling behaviors are being punished with pain, so they decrease. But making the behaviors go away doesn't address the underlying emotional discomfort that's causing them. You then have an uncomfortable, "shut-down" dog who doesn't give warning signs and can wind up biting "out of nowhere." An ethical trainer will 1) avoid triggering the dog, and 2) work to change the dog's emotional state around the trigger, usually by pairing it with something the dog loves (like amazing food). This is, of course, an extremely simplified explanation of a complex process.
There was this recent article in that formerly great metropolitan newspaper on dogs freaking out while Severance was on.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/entertainment/tv/2025/03/10/severance-dogs-reaction/
"Don't It Make My Brown Eyes Blue"
Hazel covers a lot of ground. My sister has hazelish eyes in the gray spectrum, mine are greenish hazel. Poll needs some more nuance.