75 Comments

I live in the Peoples Republic of Northern Virginia, wed unto one not even registered to vote until we married 50+ yrs ago (in an election year). The Beloved has taken to watching the most wretched of the Faux & Faux-adjacent witolds and then holding forth on their theories, all the while assuring me that I am the deluded and brainwashed. Though we don't have cable, YouTube has all the latest dips***tery, and he watches all the time. We have a good health plan and he has a number of health problems, but he insists on getting most of his medical advice from YouTube as well. (We are both completely up-to-date on our Covid and flu vaccinations, despite his ideas.) Cognitive decline? My cognition feels on a banana peel just listening to his BS. What to do?

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The last joke made me laugh so hard, I woke up my neighbor's dog

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I am about as far Left as you are Gene but my brother is a big time MAGA. I had to stay with him for a couple of days last summer when my sister's husband was dying and I went to my old hometown where both my brother and sister live. (My sister is left but more right than I am so maybe middle, but hey, I am the middle child. Never mind.) Anyway I quietly asked him if he could turn off FauxNews while we ate dinner one night. I thought he was going to throw a chair at me and he almost did the next day. I will never stay with him again.

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I would say “Sure, I’m lucky, but I’m even more skilled.”

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I can no longer find the original question, but this is for the Dale whose parents are MAGAniacs and he wonders what happened.

The answer for you may be: EVOLUTION. That answer likely won't work for them, if they think there's no such thing.

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Pat,

RE: Facebook jail for quoting Henry Higgens:

I got put there for parodying Beauty and the Beast:

Beat our guest! Beat our guest!

Grab a whip! Grab a chair! We will bruise you everywhere!

I had previously done time for quoting Frank Zappa's Lonesome Cowboy Burt (about "finding some Communist bastard" and kicking him in the head).

Let me tell you, life ain't easy for a Boy Named Dale from Chicago.

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I'm also confused by what seems like multiple pages. Anyway, this comment is for Unapotamus Dale:

Some years ago, on the first day back at work after the spouses-included company dinner dance, the break room fell silent when a woman said to me, “I couldn’t believe it when I saw your husband! How did you ever get such a good-lookiing guy?!” While everyone else there was probably thinking the same thing she was, they were also thinking the same thing I was, that the obvious and appropriate response was, “Kiss my ass!” But instead, I said with a smile, “I must know…stuff…you don’t.” The rest of the break room liked that answer, even if she didn’t. I’m just lucky she didn’t ask for specifics. I don’t know what I would have said then.

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Just a suggestion. The next time that happens, after you say "Kiss my ass" in the nicest possible way, you might lecture about natural selection. That will generally induce stupefaction, allowing you to walk away retort free.

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Unapotamus here.

The biggest thing for me was the change in response over the last few years. I didn't really know how to respond even back when people were being complimentary, and now I REALLY don't know how to respond. And "I'm just really good at doin' it" seems crass.

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I asked a question, sort of, in the so-called chat, which doesn’t seem to be updating, other than here in the comments. Still working out the Substack bugs?

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I'm confused. Is this the chat, via the comments threads, or is it the other place that has been invaded by Dale of Chicago? He's asked great questions by the way, but he's definitely invaded...

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It turns out that the form to submit a question in advance neglected to ask submitters their names or other handles. So Gene chose a nice androgynous one. I predict that by Thursday's chat, we'll see those old Chatological Humor "place names" like Don't Ask, ME.

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The Empress Roc, KS.

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We are all Dale from Chicago. In both the metaphorical, all-for-one, one-for-all community sense, and in the literal sense that Gene unilaterally named all the chatters "Dale from Chicago."

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Oh. Like "Spartacus" then...

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I'm a firm leftie as well, and had the same reaction to the Prophet depiction story. It cannot be that it is simply always verboten, no matter the circumstances, to show art depicting him. This professor took what seemed to be every possible reasonable step to avoid causing injury to anyone who would be aggrieved by viewing the art. The art she was showing, and the context in which she was showing it, were legitimate and thoughtful with no discernible trace of animus or bigotry or etc. I instantly disagreed with the school's response and told my husband "Great, conservatives are going to have a field day with this - and it sucks when they have a point."

What's the equivalent of a shanda for the goyim (apologies if any of that should be capitalized) for a situation like this?

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Yes --- both the outrageous hype from the Right at one end of the spectrum and the often knee-jerk, sanctimonious piety from the Left at the other, should be called out. The hype no doubt can be more dangerous in the scheme of things but, everything these days seems to be absolutely binary.

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I'm not seeing anything from the radical right. I don't think that accusations of Islamaphobia are on their radar. This is a fight between different factions on the left.

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As it's played out so far, that's also my impression. But my first thought / concern was about how the RR would use it.

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I agree, except it makes us easy targets for them.

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Hm. This is a good question. A caca for the cryptofascists?

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Maybe. We should keep thinking. I fear it's a term we'll need.

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Gene: Dale again. Have you and Pat decided on a final icon or symbol caste system ? I notice only the big spenders here get the five ring crest signifying that either they are lifers or members of the samurai class.

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I haven't seen icons but I support your basic stinking pile of loose poop.

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I don't know what those icons are. I'm just my head with an inflatable bloody ax stuck on it.

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Pat --- It shows up next to comments. Maybe a royal wave GIF from you or a middle finger one from Gene for those now crowdfunding for their Gene Pool/Invitational subscriptions. And about that photo insert. Thought it was a younger Betty White.

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The one next to Gene's poop pile is supposed to look like a fountain pen nib; it indicates that he's the "author." It's his sandbox and I'm just playing in it. So I'll have to settle for my bloody tiara.

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And the five-ring "crest" icon designates someone who subscribed to The Gene Pool at the "Founding Member" level. Justin Stone, take a bow!

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Am I the only person who did this?

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You're not the only Founding Member -- we're happy to report that a number of you had no sense except figuring that we do need to get a few bucks to get this thing off the ground, and so you do benefit in the long run from our continued involvement in your otherwise unfulfilling life. But your icon was the only one I saw with the showy "crest."

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Pretty sure I did, but I don't have rings of glory (or any other icon).

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You are glorious to us!

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Ah --- so now the mash-up of "Avatar" and "Lord of the Flies" begins.

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I was in a Target bathroom (Mens) not too long ago and the baby-changing station had a sign above it saying "Do not leave your child unattended on the changing table." I asked my wife if her restroom had a similar sign, and it did not.

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Can you imagine what happened in the men's room to prompt that sign??

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That’s easy. And the whole incident could have been avoided if they had only put a baby harness next to the urinal.

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I don't think anything had to happen. It's simply an accurate judgment about men.

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Of course not! Women do not need that sign. It would be like a sign in a ladies' room saying PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE THE SEAT UP.

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I am participating in a telephonic conference for work simultaneously with this chat. What inappropriate word should I try to work into the conversation?

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Seersucker is always good, or organism. You want words that SOUND dirty.

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Jay Goldberg, mouthpiece to the stars, who recently found his way to the High Court had success during a trial a number of years ago with "masticate." This probably would work particularly well during lunch conferences --- with the proper mumble, of course.

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Masticate is also a popular vocabulary word among middle school students.

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"I'm just sitting here masticating."

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Hard to work either of those into what is a rather technical matter, but maybe I can work something out with "input" or "interface."

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What happened to conservative-raised me (to make me a leftie) was that I sat in church. A lot of church. And dared to take seriously the parts about doing unto others, caring for the least of these, and not shouting my prayers on the street in public.

And over time I watched the church fail to act on those parts I took seriously, and began to vote for politicians who did.

I am one of the few persons I know whose conservative faith actually turned me into a leftie. I don’t know how much room is left for that any more.

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Count me among those successful business people (now retired) who spent a lot of time in board rooms (at the table so to speak), and got more liberal the more I saw. I watched smart, ethical people under pressure make the amoral choice time and time again, skirting regulations, cutting jobs, pay, and benefits, busting unions, deceiving customers, even screwing shareholders, and getting rewarded for it.

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I know of another person like that. Can't discuss her here, but went through 12 years of Catholic school and became a confirmed, militant atheist infidel.

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Ah, but I am not an atheist. I read somewhere once (and perhaps it was good ole corny Khalil Gibran) that Jesus of Nazareth and Jesus of the Christian have badly lost touch with each other. Oh well. Not the place for this, but I despair sometimes.

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I seem to be confused. Thought this was ZipRecruiter.

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Everything's a recruiting site if you're ambitious enough.

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Gene: As an alumnus of Harvard, it strikes me that only you are able to answer the question: when is comment a question ? And are we marked down for doing either one in the wrong place ?

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It's a bit confusing. I am toggling furiously between two sites.

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