Training the Swamp

Do you recognize the guy above? He is an actor playing Francis Marion, AKA “The Swamp Fox,” a Revolutionary War hero — bane of the British and their Tory sympathizers in the colonial South. Francis Marion was the prototype of the American vigilante, a strike-and-run saboteur who led a ragtag militia to help overthrow British rule.

The real Francis Marion was a five-foot-two, hook-nosed, knock-kneed homunculus, and also a brute and an enthusiastic slaveowner. He slaughtered Cherokees and burned their homes and crops. He was a complicated man in a complicated time in America. But that’s not how he was played in the cheesy children’s ABC TV series produced by Disney and aired from 1959 to 1960.

That show, with high production values, was filled with gallant men in waistcoats and fancy tricorn hats galloping endlessly on their horses through forest and swamp. They were led by the handsome, square-jawed fellow above, whose respect for women, and love of country, and allegiance to the civilized protocols of war conducted by gentlemen, were boundless.

Okay, we move on. His identity is going to reveal something important about humor and — more important — the value of living and learning.

The show was intended to re-create and piggyback on the phenomenal success of “Davy Crockett,” an equally corny show with amazingly successful merchandising tie-ins, previously aired by ABC in 1954 and 1955. “The Swamp Fox” was a shameless imitation of “Davy Crockett” — it even, bizarrely, put a feather tail on Marion’s tricorn, to imitate Crockett’s coonskin cap, which sold to millions of little boomer buggers, me among them.

The single thing the show did right was to create one of the most hummable and singable TV theme songs ever.

Pretty great, right?

Anyway, in these insipid “Swamp Fox” shows — there were only eight of them, total, each an hour long — Francis Marion spoke mostly in banalities, suffused with an occasional soppy inspirational cliche. These lines were delivered woodenly. The plots were preposterous, but intended to be taken seriously, so were played with utmost gravity. And even then, an unacknowledged, unintended “uncanny valley” effect pervaded.

In one scene that actually mirrored a true event in the life of Francis Marion, The Swamp Fox leapt to the ground from a second-floor window to escape some Tories, a fall so bad that he broke his ankle. This happens in the Disney version, but for some reason, as he hits the ground with a fearsome thud, his tricorn hat does not fall off. He retains all of his dignity.

Okay, here comes the reveal.

The Swamp Fox was played by Leslie Nielsen. You know, Frank Drebin.

Now watch the scene leading up to the fall from the window. It takes place at a dinner party in Charleston. You can stop watching after a minute and a half, at 8:45, when he thuds onto his keister but keeps his hat on.

Did you notice something interesting?

It is impossible to watch these scenes now without thinking that Nielsen is sending up the role.

In hindsight, but only in hindsight, the lines seem delivered with full knowledge of their corn. Nielsen wasn’t doing this deliberately, of course — he was doing as he was directed.

But I believe he was learning something. I believe he was learning the subtle skill of being good by being bad. Saying ridiculous things with utter sincerity. I think that’s where Nielsen learned and perfected his deadpan — even if he didn’t know he was doing it, yet. You learn from experience, right? It’s an essential skill of life.

Surely, this would come in handy, someday. And don’t call me Shirley.

Leslie never made the Swamp Fox - Drebin connection, as far as I can tell. But what did he know?

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SURPRISE! This is the Weekend Gene Pool! You have to send me thoughts and anecdotes. Tell me about something important you were learning in life before you realized you were learning it. How did it affect your future? Poignant is good. Funny is better. Poignant and funny are best. Send them here:

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Here is a postscript to the Nielsen saga.

Francis Marion was also portrayed in the movie “The Patriot,” released in 2000. In a more sophisticated time, were the historical facts dealt with more honestly?

Here is all you need to know: Francis Marion was played by Mel Gibson.

Okay, one more thing: In the movie, as in life, he owned a plantation. But in the movie only, the Black people who worked the fields were free, and paid for their labor.

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That’s it for today.

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