Hello. Today we deliver the internationally acclaimed Weekend Gene Pool, in which we pretend to entertain you in return for your questions and observations for use as fodder on Tuesday. Last week, New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd once again handed off her
Digging more deeply into the H-S ad for Lazy Licker's Spinning Ice Cream Cone, a device that allows us to "enjoy the classic treat without tiresome head turning or wrist twisting", I came across a review from a user named Pamela who lamented that "the batteries are a pain to insert. You have to use a screw driver to take off the battery door, which takes forever. " I am now more convinced than ever that we are doomed to extinction as a society.
My mud turtle had little means to communicate. Once he was floating on the surface (rare for this species.) I leaned into his terrarium and he released an air bubble to submerge. Still floated. I leaned in very close and he released a putrid bubble from the other end. He submerged. I quickly left.
Hi --- or "Roo" to keep the big shot writer guy in the dark --- Lexi here. He's like I am with a bone with that stupid "roo-roo" joke. Here a "roo. There a "roo." Everywhere a "roo-roo!" Anyway, while he and that lovely other human who lives in my place are otherwise occupied doing stupid human stuff, I thought I'd finally set things straight. Spill my guts (which I also literally do on the rare occasion; like you don't huh ?). First off, you should know I am smarter than the average Plott Hound --- in fact I have a degree in Advanced Plotting. Said so in that mail piece from Trump University I got a few years back. Okay so I didn't send in the $200, so sue me. Or try again. The thing is, I've been on to that big shot writer guy from the get-go. First off, he projects a lot. That recent business about the gastro-indiscretion I was shamefully accused of for instance. I mean the guy is a one-man greenhouse gas machine. He's probably raised the Earth's surface temperature a degree all by himself. Then there's that victimhood thing. Yeah, I expect to have fresh water at all times. Don't you ? But no --- always Lexi this and Lexi that ! And btw --- that pee on the lawn ? Yep --- thought he was in our neighbor's yard when he came home three sheets to the wind the other night after coughing up what I can only describe as human hairballs (kinda does look like a British Blue doesn't he ?) that rhyme before a bunch of other martyrs --- who probably "roo-ed" the evening. See --- two can play that game. Humans. Gotta love 'em. Or else!
I don't get the double-decker enjoyment part. I feel like it's a reference to a kinky sex act, but I don't understand how that connects to the ice cream cone rotator.
Double decker (at least in terms of ice cream) is usually a combination of two flavors and most often vanilla and chocolate. There can also be flavored wafers in the mix as well. So presumably if you were too lazy to rotate an actual cone, you could have been presented with each flavor or ice cream surface by the rotating, motorized version, as the catalog copy put it, "... without tiresome head turning or wrist twisting." Who knew that neck and/or wrist injuries while eating an ice cream cone were a problem ? Well, there are well-known bagel related Injuries (once the fifth most common cause of ER visits) so I guess other food-related trauma is also possible.
Please tell me what your issues are with Kevin’s commentary. My one question is about “the multiple sins of Hunter Biden.” I will stipulate up front that the guy is an unethical scumbag, but last I checked, he was, and is, a private citizen not occupying an elected office. The GOP braintrust, led by James Comer and Gym Jordan, has flung much “investigative” spaghetti at the Joe Biden wall, and none of it has stuck. If they can find something to charge the dumb son of a bitch with, then by all means, do it, but as Joe Biden said, there’s no there there.
That said, I again ask what part of Kevin’s commentary you have a problem with.
MAD Magazine's sainted Al Jaffee created a spoof of the multiple-blade razor decades ago. MAD always was ahead of the curve.
Digging more deeply into the H-S ad for Lazy Licker's Spinning Ice Cream Cone, a device that allows us to "enjoy the classic treat without tiresome head turning or wrist twisting", I came across a review from a user named Pamela who lamented that "the batteries are a pain to insert. You have to use a screw driver to take off the battery door, which takes forever. " I am now more convinced than ever that we are doomed to extinction as a society.
You mentioned the SNL skit that presaged the 3-blade razor, but did you know about the Onion article that presaged the 5-blade razor?
I’m not going to try to freehand html in these comments, so here are the relevant links in their monstrous entirety:
The Onion: https://www.theonion.com/fuck-everything-were-doing-five-blades-1819584036
The Schick Hydro: https://www.schick.com/products/hydro-sensitive-razor
Wow, beat me to to it.
Your dog’s comments are far more enlightening than Dowd’s brother’s!
My mud turtle had little means to communicate. Once he was floating on the surface (rare for this species.) I leaned into his terrarium and he released an air bubble to submerge. Still floated. I leaned in very close and he released a putrid bubble from the other end. He submerged. I quickly left.
Hi --- or "Roo" to keep the big shot writer guy in the dark --- Lexi here. He's like I am with a bone with that stupid "roo-roo" joke. Here a "roo. There a "roo." Everywhere a "roo-roo!" Anyway, while he and that lovely other human who lives in my place are otherwise occupied doing stupid human stuff, I thought I'd finally set things straight. Spill my guts (which I also literally do on the rare occasion; like you don't huh ?). First off, you should know I am smarter than the average Plott Hound --- in fact I have a degree in Advanced Plotting. Said so in that mail piece from Trump University I got a few years back. Okay so I didn't send in the $200, so sue me. Or try again. The thing is, I've been on to that big shot writer guy from the get-go. First off, he projects a lot. That recent business about the gastro-indiscretion I was shamefully accused of for instance. I mean the guy is a one-man greenhouse gas machine. He's probably raised the Earth's surface temperature a degree all by himself. Then there's that victimhood thing. Yeah, I expect to have fresh water at all times. Don't you ? But no --- always Lexi this and Lexi that ! And btw --- that pee on the lawn ? Yep --- thought he was in our neighbor's yard when he came home three sheets to the wind the other night after coughing up what I can only describe as human hairballs (kinda does look like a British Blue doesn't he ?) that rhyme before a bunch of other martyrs --- who probably "roo-ed" the evening. See --- two can play that game. Humans. Gotta love 'em. Or else!
I don't get the double-decker enjoyment part. I feel like it's a reference to a kinky sex act, but I don't understand how that connects to the ice cream cone rotator.
Double decker (at least in terms of ice cream) is usually a combination of two flavors and most often vanilla and chocolate. There can also be flavored wafers in the mix as well. So presumably if you were too lazy to rotate an actual cone, you could have been presented with each flavor or ice cream surface by the rotating, motorized version, as the catalog copy put it, "... without tiresome head turning or wrist twisting." Who knew that neck and/or wrist injuries while eating an ice cream cone were a problem ? Well, there are well-known bagel related Injuries (once the fifth most common cause of ER visits) so I guess other food-related trauma is also possible.
Please tell me what your issues are with Kevin’s commentary. My one question is about “the multiple sins of Hunter Biden.” I will stipulate up front that the guy is an unethical scumbag, but last I checked, he was, and is, a private citizen not occupying an elected office. The GOP braintrust, led by James Comer and Gym Jordan, has flung much “investigative” spaghetti at the Joe Biden wall, and none of it has stuck. If they can find something to charge the dumb son of a bitch with, then by all means, do it, but as Joe Biden said, there’s no there there.
That said, I again ask what part of Kevin’s commentary you have a problem with.
In 1975, I thought the Triple Trac ad was funny and brilliant. Wasnt the tag line "Because you'll believe anything"?
To this day it's the first thing I think of when I see a razor ad.