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Noodles & Cabbage's avatar

I love Gary Crockett's runner up about people named Jack Smith, because (as II'm sure Gary knows) it mirrors Trump's actual claims about voter fraud and the GOP's various voter suppression tactics.

They have "proof" that dead people are voting because the names match their list of obituaries.

They have "proof" that "illegals" are voting because the names match those on a list of noncitizens.

And of course they have invalidated the voter registrations of citizens in many states for this exact reason.

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Gregory Koch's avatar

I have no doubt that if Trump lost Georgia, and the election, they'd have posted real articles about electoral fraud in the country of Georgia as if they were happening in the State of Georgia, and as if they were done by Democrats instead of Putin. But he won, so now we don't get him cheating and trying to steal another election.

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Tom Logan's avatar

I thought any of the first 6 "IF Trump Wins entries" could have been the winner and runners up.

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Pat Myers's avatar

We can't choose all of them! Limiting the "above the fold" ink to four entries is the discipline we need.

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Tom Logan's avatar

Oh, I get it, I thought they were very strong contenders. I don't think I've seen that many (IMHO) in long while.

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Jill M Fosse's avatar

I really liked Daniel Galef’s hurricane relief. Since it’s very likely to come true. ☹️

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Violet Hunter's avatar

Today’s post got me chuckling. Excellent submissions from the readers. First real laugh since waking up yesterday to learn that Trump will invade/infect the DMV all over again. <insert primal scream here>

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Ted Dreyer's avatar

My favorite was by Duncan Stevens involving all big strong men following Trump around weeping. Trump never seems to realize that he has used that line so often that it has become a joke in and of itself.

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Noodles & Cabbage's avatar

Shout out to Jonathan Jensen's "playlist" and Stephen Dudzik's "my type"

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JefCon 1's avatar

Excuse me, but how did Virginia get put into the red part of the map?

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Atanwat's avatar

Waking up on the day after an election is just like waking up on Christmas morning. You go downstairs to get your stocking from the mantelpiece, wondering whether there will be a nice present inside, or a big lump of orange dog$#!+.

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Melissa's avatar

I liked Galef's hurricane relief. And as for genitalia on Barbies and Ken's- I was babysitting a 5 year old in my house and she was playing with my Ken doll, changing his clothes and asked if that was what boys looked like. I punted and suggested she ask her parents. The next time I babysat her at her house there was one of those books about talking to your kids about sex in her bedroom.

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Atanwat's avatar

As Max Liebermann once said in a similar situation 91 years ago: “Ick kann jar nich soville fressen, wie ick kotzen möchte.” (“I cannot eat so much as I would like to puke.”)

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Gary E Masters's avatar

Winners can say: "We saved you from ,,," But it is all hypothetical. Now we will see. As bad as I expect? Worse? Or (luck of the idiot) much better?

I do not even know what to hope or wish for. But...

We will see.

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JefCon 1's avatar

Is TFG going to become TCG (C for Current) or will it be FTFG (first F for Formerly)? I would assume FTFG would be pronounced FaT-FuG. Thoughts?

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Tom Logan's avatar

..."Jimmy Kimmel bring back "Girls Jumping On Trampolines?""

I thought of that too late to enter.

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Tom Logan's avatar

"No. Trump did not WANT to lose. That makes him a loser. He thinks like a child. Also, he very VERY much wanted to stay out of prison."

But he would NEVER admit to being a loser and would just keep running his scams.

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Terri Smith's avatar

But I don’t think winning is going to stop him pumping his investments. I think he thinks he can do what he wants and is probably right.

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Tom Logan's avatar

I don't disagree with you, but I have to think at some point, he WILL take it too far.

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Sasquatch's avatar

With friends like SCOTUS "too far" no longer exists.

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Mark Ugoretz's avatar

I do. Comics are much funnier.

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Dale of Green Gables's avatar

How appropriate for you to use the image of the former most recognized clown in America.

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