I loved so many this week. A few faves: Craig Dykstra's “Does anybody really know what climate is? Does anybody really care?” — Fox News, Beverly Sharp's “Out, damned spit! Out, I say!” — the Hawk Tuah Girl, Jon Ketzner's “A date that will live in infinity.” — Bill Murray, Terri Berg Smith's “It is what it isn’t.”—Donald Trump
My headline suggestion was “ That’s what she almost said.” I thought of the “ not” Jesse used ( the joke rhythms better) but chose “almost” because it struck me as more in line with the contest challenge. Jesse is the Elon Musk of inkings; I’m a guy living in a Maytag dryer box. Just pleading.
Q: Think America will ever elect a President who is openly, out of the closet, atheistic ?
A: Yes. I think we are heading there. And one reason I think so is that I’m not sure that anyone has even asked if Harris goes to church, or what her views are. I don’t know. Do you? And I think even Trump supporters know he has no religious faith at all.
Actually, Gene, she has been asked about her faith many times. She was brought up in both Hindu and Christian traditions, but she is a member of the Third Baptist Church of San Francisco. (And as you surely know, she is married to an observant Jew.) Here's a link: https://www.deseret.com/faith/2024/08/19/kamala-harris-religion/.
Clearly the judging reflects liberal media bias, since the best quote was from J.D. Vance. And the Catherine the Great quote also could have been attributed to Emma Peel.
Well, to tie it up, I could add: An observant Jew generally cannot have a pig as a pet because the Jewish Bible forbids eating or raising pigs. The Leviticus section of the Tanakh states that pigs are unclean and that their flesh and carcasses should not be touched.
Must a memoir be true, even if it’s funnier if it’s changed just a bit? Of course it must — you’re billing it as non-fiction. Here’s how I would solve any conundrum: “It happened almost this way, and I’m writing the enhanced version here because it’s funnier than the original, but the meaning of both is the same.” Here’s the kind of example I mean: My stepson came out about 20 years ago. I called him up and asked him if he had a boyfriend, and he said he didn’t, at the moment. I answered that I didn’t care whether he dated men or women, as long as they were Jewish. (I said this tongue-in-cheek). The funnier version is for him to answer that he had a boyfriend, and for me to ask, “Is he Jewish?” That’s more or less how our son tells the story as well.
I loved so many this week. A few faves: Craig Dykstra's “Does anybody really know what climate is? Does anybody really care?” — Fox News, Beverly Sharp's “Out, damned spit! Out, I say!” — the Hawk Tuah Girl, Jon Ketzner's “A date that will live in infinity.” — Bill Murray, Terri Berg Smith's “It is what it isn’t.”—Donald Trump
Agreed. I thought this crop of Invitational entries was unusually good.
I think the JD Vance quote was the best, especially given the harmony between the final syllables woman and ottoman.
Fav: To thy gown self, be true. Thank you Chris Doyle!
I like Duncan’s Ottoman, hard to choose though, very glib week!
That living together question: not a grammar question. Just saying.
I like the Lorena Bobbitt “he’s not playing with a full dick” the best.
My headline suggestion was “ That’s what she almost said.” I thought of the “ not” Jesse used ( the joke rhythms better) but chose “almost” because it struck me as more in line with the contest challenge. Jesse is the Elon Musk of inkings; I’m a guy living in a Maytag dryer box. Just pleading.
Oops! I had a typo on my "Alexa" joke; the iPhone AI assistant is "Siri," not "Suri," which is what I sent in by mistake.
Did Alexa mean to say "Siri"?
Yes! Changing it.
Q: Think America will ever elect a President who is openly, out of the closet, atheistic ?
A: Yes. I think we are heading there. And one reason I think so is that I’m not sure that anyone has even asked if Harris goes to church, or what her views are. I don’t know. Do you? And I think even Trump supporters know he has no religious faith at all.
Actually, Gene, she has been asked about her faith many times. She was brought up in both Hindu and Christian traditions, but she is a member of the Third Baptist Church of San Francisco. (And as you surely know, she is married to an observant Jew.) Here's a link: https://www.deseret.com/faith/2024/08/19/kamala-harris-religion/.
“Now is the winner of our discontent.” — Virtually half the electorate on Nov. 6. (Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.)
Well, technically speaking, that was virtually half the electorate in nearly every election this century...
Clearly the judging reflects liberal media bias, since the best quote was from J.D. Vance. And the Catherine the Great quote also could have been attributed to Emma Peel.
I don't get the Barbra Streisand thing.
Barbra is Jewish. She doesn't eat pork.
That's kinda what I thought, but the phrase wasn't "eat a pig," but "have a pig" -- it could be a pet!
Well, to tie it up, I could add: An observant Jew generally cannot have a pig as a pet because the Jewish Bible forbids eating or raising pigs. The Leviticus section of the Tanakh states that pigs are unclean and that their flesh and carcasses should not be touched.
Er, that was lifted from Wiki. I had no idea about that, myself, being a Bad Jew.
Thanks for the info -- I never knew that!
"'Weird Dudes" for $200 Ken'" A: "Seat of his pants."
"I'll wave what she's waving" should have made it into the finals.
Must a memoir be true, even if it’s funnier if it’s changed just a bit? Of course it must — you’re billing it as non-fiction. Here’s how I would solve any conundrum: “It happened almost this way, and I’m writing the enhanced version here because it’s funnier than the original, but the meaning of both is the same.” Here’s the kind of example I mean: My stepson came out about 20 years ago. I called him up and asked him if he had a boyfriend, and he said he didn’t, at the moment. I answered that I didn’t care whether he dated men or women, as long as they were Jewish. (I said this tongue-in-cheek). The funnier version is for him to answer that he had a boyfriend, and for me to ask, “Is he Jewish?” That’s more or less how our son tells the story as well.