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OK Gene I need your assessment of this COVID joke from the Czech republic.

"The flu and the covid virus were sharing stories in their favorite pub over beers. The flu virus said, 'You know I killed 2 million people this year and no one noticed'. The covid virus said, 'Well I only killed 1 million people this year, but I had a great PR team!'"

Is it any good or too offensive?

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On that matter of Shakespeare authorship: "who done it" continues to stir debate among those scholars with tenure and too much time on their hands. Sir Francis Bacon was the first alternative author (of the more than 80 — so far…) suggested for his works through tortured reasoning including — and this is my favorite — cryptographic cipher and code clues in the plays and sonnets. One often cited example is the word "honorificabilitudinitatibus" in "Love’s Labour’s Lost," which has been rendered (conveniently) in Latin as, "These plays, F. Bacon’s offspring, are preserved for the World." Uh, okay… But, more eye-watering, is the conspiracy portion of the theory which has Shakespeare serving as Bacon’s beard to protect the latter’s political career (wouldn’t do to be known to write plays for public consumption) and nearly everyone around the two men knowing this but keeping silent. If pressed, I would have to confess that I believe it was, in fact, Murray who ran the concessions stand at the Globe. I have the uh...receipts.

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Regarding 'neopronouns': NEVER SURRENDER, JOURNOCOP.

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PLEASE let us have more purpose than to create AI.

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I will never relent on “infer” meaning '“imply,” or on the acceptance of, say, “irregardless.”

Gene, do you mean this disirregardless of who is saying it?

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Btw, I don’t write a Substack.

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Lynne Larkin is correct in her comment below. Having held high clearances (some of the clearance names were classified) it was beat into us how to handle classified documents. I suspect these politicos and aides don't get any training on this and if they do, they don't pay attention.

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On the matter of those (1) declassified (2) planted or (3) material collected for the next International Paper Airplane Throw-Off to be held at Mar-a-Lago --- documents. (Select all which don't apply) --- word is the feds first became aware that many were still to be recovered when they noticed the offer of a classified document with every three night stay.

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Many people in the lower echelons of all venues where classified docs are handled are trained to place such materials in safes or trash them in classified [mashed, swirled and burned] bags. It's the upper levels where people of varied experiences get access to them, such as TFG who's never even been potty trained, where so many errors/slips occur. Also, people such as Congresssmen have their staff members do everything, and that is also a mixed bag of training, TBH. Mostly in places like the CIA, you have to intend to take something [see "Petraeus, General" or "Ames, Aldrich"].

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Thank you for the pee research. Now I just need the cure

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Re Kevin McCarthy's mouth: It evidently (and understandably) went full bore on Jan. 6 when he got on the phone trying to get Trump to do something:

According to the recent book "Weapons of Mass Delusion," quoted in a Politico story:

“Well, Kevin,” President Trump said to McCarthy by phone shortly before three in the afternoon on January 6, “I guess these people are more upset about the election than you are.”

“More upset?” McCarthy yelled back incredulously, according to an account he gave a few hours later to a Republican colleague. “THEY'RE TRYING TO FUCKING KILL ME!”

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Memory lapses are SO common in the GOP, it must be a virus.

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Medieval Kneivel. I guffawed.

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Thank you for the The The link. A great band indeed.

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Q: This is Gene. I dunno if any of you have noticed it, but I have solved the problem of long delays between new answers. I figured it out in a Covid fever dream.

A: Spacing out postings, hanging onto some of them for a while, even though they're finished?

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author

Yes, but that was not possible using the substack chatwear. I have introduced a third tier, in which I do just that.

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Just got the email 5 minutes ago, sorry to be late. I only want the socks because the Empress' feet have touched them. Wait . . .

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Oh, I did get Gene's email at 12:53 so at least that was on time.

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The E did put on peds under the socks, in case you're not Lynne and would be grossed out by receiving pre-posed-in socks.

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Valerie's animated GIF of the acrobat is superb -- love the drop down. Hire that nepo baby!

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She is available for GIFfing the image of your choice, including your driver's license and Wanted poster, as well as more static Photoshopping. (As her agent I will receive only a small percentage of her fees -- no more than 50 percent, for sure.)

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So I, too, made it nearly 3 years into this thing and have tested positive. I thought it was a costume ball. I mean, I thought it was a cold. Joke's on me. And my colleagues since Monday I attended an all-staff in-service sans mask.

As for laughs, these captions were funny and all but I didn't actually LOL and cover my viral mouth until I hit Mr. Raffman's entry for G. Well done!

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Now that's an entry that The Post would NEVER have run -- rightly so: It has to consider a different readership. Here, y'all know what you're getting into.

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I have a sneaking suspicion the cat engraving in G wouldn't have seen the light of day either.

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author

You would be surprised at images they edited out because they might be offensive to SOMEBODY. A fully intact penis would have caused fainting in the boardroom.

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Every now and then we got stuff through the censors. As in this “valentine” from week 1108 (2015):

To the postman:

Not snow nor rain nor sleet nor hail,

Can keep away my favorite male,

So here’s a love note for the hunk,

Who each day stuffs my box with junk.

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HAHA! Not in print it didn't. I sneaked it into the online version.

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Pat (and Gene) --- I would have Manny the Mouthpiece ready. If Fox can attack Legos, can Pat and Gene's Awfully Swell (But Ever-So-Slightly Off-Color)) Invitational be far behind ?!

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