Along with Judy Freed's second runner-up entry from the Jewish mother, I want to shout out Leif Picoult's entry on bragging, Jonathan Jensen's limerick, Duncan Stevens's list of metaphors for TFG's lack of smarts, and Beverley Sharp's meta entry, all of which made me laugh out loud - bravo all!
Ok, I disagree with your winner. I like this one best of all:
My wife told me our love life could use something new. So I said, “How about a three-way?” She said, “Great idea! You choose the two guys and then you can watch.” (Chris Doyle)
Skiing is a hoot. The aches and pains and limping is the price one pays for learning the limits of one's ability. You get better, and the pains get less, unless you insist on going to the slopes where you have no business going. Except that I have super-wide feet, but rentable ski boots are not super-wide. Since I have reached an age at which tight shoes have broken some of my foot bones (twice!), downhill skiing is off the table. If I should happen to move north before infirmity catches up with me, cross-country skiing is not out of consideration. The snow-shoes in my shed, purchased in the year after the Winter of Snowpocalypses, have been used only once. I won't make that mistake with skis, which are significantly more expensive.
Art you say? Several years ago, international headlines told of a visitor to the Uffizi Gallery in Florence who had a heart attack while contemplating Botticelli's “The Birth of Venus.” Turns out this was not a mere coincidence. Apparently, there is a fairly long history behind the notion that art can be so overwhelming as to cause physical illness. Although, not officially confirmed, something similar to this was said to have occurred at several Weingarten public poetry readings and occasionally, during his tenure at the newspaper whose name we dare not speak.
This phenomenon — called the “Stendhal syndrome” — was first named by an Italian psychiatrist in 1989. The name refers to an episode described by the French writer Stendhal (“The Charterhouse of Parma” and “The Red and the Black”) in his travel memoir about the journey that he undertook through Italy in 1817. Other anecdotes describing the pronounced effect of great artworks on the human psyche also date back to at least the 19th century, although the “Stendhal syndrome” appears to be unique to Florence because of the sheer concentration of great art there. And evidently, it only affects foreign tourists.
Something I've been wondering about for years (okay, maybe as of a couple of minutes ago). Has the Imperial Court ever considered declaring the equivalent of "nolo contendere" or "no contest" for one or another Invitational down through the decades? Or can your finely honed forensic abilities always find humor ?
Correct me if I'm wrong about the ho-ho story, but you would probably have found it difficult to remove your pants even if you wanted to --- Tom the Butcher's caution notwithstanding.
The humor in this contest I think is best gotten from something in Joe’s voice, but a surprise like a childish or another angle because well, he is old and boring, and a surprise would be that he is go kart driving or anything different engaging in criminality etc. Also, admissions of advanced age, something he shouldn’t do. not just coincidentally true. I like Duncan’s FDR- Red Sea soliloquy.
Sorry boss. Had to try "Weingarten Syndrome" and lo and behold (and you personally may have beheld it previously...) there is a "Weingarten's Syndrome" which has nothing to do with deathless prose or an attempt to emulate it by entering a death-defying competition or alternately, the agita caused by curry. To those in the know it's known formally as tropical pulmonary eosinophilia, which, on closer inspection, is a laundry list of symptoms rivaling yours in number (at least those we know about).
Every voter must remember the words of my predecessor, who said (and this is an exact quote): “We are a nation that just heard that Saudi Arabia and Russia will we-be-do-a.” (Frank Osen)
The closed captioning in the picture lists the words as will re be doog gahhh. I could find this quote nowhere else online with audio to verify it.
Along with Judy Freed's second runner-up entry from the Jewish mother, I want to shout out Leif Picoult's entry on bragging, Jonathan Jensen's limerick, Duncan Stevens's list of metaphors for TFG's lack of smarts, and Beverley Sharp's meta entry, all of which made me laugh out loud - bravo all!
I had such a good example for this week's contest:
"LOVE Artist Robert Indiana"
His famous work was just a word
That felt as welcome as a hug
Until a contest most absurd
Debased it for the LOSER mug
Ok, I disagree with your winner. I like this one best of all:
My wife told me our love life could use something new. So I said, “How about a three-way?” She said, “Great idea! You choose the two guys and then you can watch.” (Chris Doyle)
I just got a Googlenope this morning, with "Random Death Fish." My ten-year-old and I play a game before school to try and find one.
I roared at the one- liner about inflation
How did Duncan Stevens get two inks for one entry?
Skiing is a hoot. The aches and pains and limping is the price one pays for learning the limits of one's ability. You get better, and the pains get less, unless you insist on going to the slopes where you have no business going. Except that I have super-wide feet, but rentable ski boots are not super-wide. Since I have reached an age at which tight shoes have broken some of my foot bones (twice!), downhill skiing is off the table. If I should happen to move north before infirmity catches up with me, cross-country skiing is not out of consideration. The snow-shoes in my shed, purchased in the year after the Winter of Snowpocalypses, have been used only once. I won't make that mistake with skis, which are significantly more expensive.
I would like to see a photo of Gene in his 20s.
Props to the one that made me laugh out loud: Frank Osen's dreamscape
Art you say? Several years ago, international headlines told of a visitor to the Uffizi Gallery in Florence who had a heart attack while contemplating Botticelli's “The Birth of Venus.” Turns out this was not a mere coincidence. Apparently, there is a fairly long history behind the notion that art can be so overwhelming as to cause physical illness. Although, not officially confirmed, something similar to this was said to have occurred at several Weingarten public poetry readings and occasionally, during his tenure at the newspaper whose name we dare not speak.
This phenomenon — called the “Stendhal syndrome” — was first named by an Italian psychiatrist in 1989. The name refers to an episode described by the French writer Stendhal (“The Charterhouse of Parma” and “The Red and the Black”) in his travel memoir about the journey that he undertook through Italy in 1817. Other anecdotes describing the pronounced effect of great artworks on the human psyche also date back to at least the 19th century, although the “Stendhal syndrome” appears to be unique to Florence because of the sheer concentration of great art there. And evidently, it only affects foreign tourists.
Something I've been wondering about for years (okay, maybe as of a couple of minutes ago). Has the Imperial Court ever considered declaring the equivalent of "nolo contendere" or "no contest" for one or another Invitational down through the decades? Or can your finely honed forensic abilities always find humor ?
Correct me if I'm wrong about the ho-ho story, but you would probably have found it difficult to remove your pants even if you wanted to --- Tom the Butcher's caution notwithstanding.
The humor in this contest I think is best gotten from something in Joe’s voice, but a surprise like a childish or another angle because well, he is old and boring, and a surprise would be that he is go kart driving or anything different engaging in criminality etc. Also, admissions of advanced age, something he shouldn’t do. not just coincidentally true. I like Duncan’s FDR- Red Sea soliloquy.
Sorry boss. Had to try "Weingarten Syndrome" and lo and behold (and you personally may have beheld it previously...) there is a "Weingarten's Syndrome" which has nothing to do with deathless prose or an attempt to emulate it by entering a death-defying competition or alternately, the agita caused by curry. To those in the know it's known formally as tropical pulmonary eosinophilia, which, on closer inspection, is a laundry list of symptoms rivaling yours in number (at least those we know about).
Every voter must remember the words of my predecessor, who said (and this is an exact quote): “We are a nation that just heard that Saudi Arabia and Russia will we-be-do-a.” (Frank Osen)
The closed captioning in the picture lists the words as will re be doog gahhh. I could find this quote nowhere else online with audio to verify it.
The winner was so good that you gave it an HM, too?