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This just in! Join a motley assemblage of Losers and their retinues at the Maryland Renaissance Festival on Sunday, Oct. 15, at noon, and we'll "brunch" on various comestibles and enjoy the games and theater and jousting and mini-concerts all afternoon. Get tickets at rennfest.com, then RSVP to Loser Events Pope Kyle Hendrickson at bit.ly/inv-rennfest-2023 . I have agreed to wear a wenchy corsety thing.

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Forget you uh...wench. Will "Valerie de Voice" be singing from the saddle ?

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No, she's the queen at Medieval Times, which is a different, year-round operation.

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Any chance of a guest appearance ? "Now back by popular demand from 1600 AD..."

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She will indeed be there, in costume, to join us, as will the Royal Consort.

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But will she be taking requests ?

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Congratulations to First Offender Leslie Franson! Leslie, email me at myerspat at gmail dot com with your postal address if you'd like me to send you the coveted Fir Stink for your First Ink.

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Sep 14, 2023Liked by Pat Myers

Thank you! I am thrilled by my first ink!! I called my husband at work to announce the good news. He was in the men's room at the time but was happy for me.

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Sep 14, 2023Liked by Pat Myers

>>>I am not a completely sane person.

I can personally testify to this.

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The idea of farting with a “flourish” made me laugh. I visualized bowing with the rolling hand gestures that comedians sometimes use for effect.

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Yes, I visualized the same thing!

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Per: Fart attack. Agree that if — big IF — you were able to keep a straight face and just get into the men’s room before you cracked up, it’s the perfect crime.

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I have not worked retail for over 20 years and I still have shitty customer dreams. I can’t help them for whatever reason and they are screaming at me. I wake up with my heart racing. Clearly customer service has fried something in my brain.

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If I unsubscribe and then resubscribe will you scratch my back?

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My experience so far in reading ChatGPT products has been annoyance at them being overlong, repetitive, and not very interesting. The next time I am confronted with a "Look what I did with ChatGPT!" -- I'll pass. Life is too short.

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Yes, mine too. Most frequent dreams are of being lost, trying to find something or someone; also when there were pay phones I was often trying vainly to make phone calls. And no, the assistance of Dr. Freud is not required to figure out what all this tends to mean, and yes, it's the pathetic, unoriginal, paranoid, insecure thing. Oy vey! This is part of why I was dismayed to see we were being asked about dreams. I did once, when I was a student, dream that books were edible and could be consumed orally, which was a nice idea.

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Wasteful prison system, absolutely! It’s the second tragedy.

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Unisex bathroom in that restaurant, you say ? Looks like Matt Gaetz (with night vision goggles) to me. Moving right along... As for a collective noun for male virgins, may I suggest:

* An emission

* A cumuppants

* A bulge

* An epididymal hypertension (you could look it up)

* A dismay

* A groan

* A hand off

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For some reason, all this talk about male virgins (& maybe the stuff about manual transmissions) reminded me of an Allen Sherman song, “Peyton Place,” which includes the following:

Far be it for me to criticize the youth, but really

You can fit all the virgins in an Austin-Healey.

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The official description of the Gene Pool, on the right-hand side of the website and also when you first go to the homepage when not logged in, still uses the phrase "the weekly Style Invitational humor contest." Seems time to remove the word "Style," no?

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We can rhyme beaches with creatures? In Philadelphia? Maybe Boston?

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As for suing a "machine" for defamation, the answer is sure, you can try. Inanimate objects and animals have been sued (and "convicted" or found liable btw) for centuries. The issue would be who or what would be the alleged perp in your suit. Google ? The software ? "Publication" under the libel or defamation laws means that a third party (at least one other person than the parties directly involved) must have heard or read the alleged defamatory statement, but you have neatly taken care of that requirement by republishing what I assume is a verbatim copy here within the required period. The problem would be proving the malice necessary or, that the alleged perp acted with reckless disregard for the truth/falsity or --- did so negligently --- depending on whether you would be considered public or private individuals. Then, of course, you would have to prove damage to your reputations. I say go for it. There's already one defamation suit I'm aware of against Open AI, the parent of ChatGPT. You'll be pioneers. It's not like you have anything else to do.

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I constantly have the dreams where I can’t get home, can’t find my car or the keys, no phone to call for assistance, and I did not know this was as common as the “late for the exam”-type dreams (which I also still have). Freaking mess, am I.

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You and me and everyone else, although the Keeper of the Cheese and the Electrical-Outlet-Tonguer and his wife/amanuensis may get a partial pass.

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I do write down my unusual dreams, not the trite ones, and it’s worth mining that pool of crazy for a laugh.

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