31 Comments
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Suzanne S Barnhill's avatar

I especially liked the caption on the prize photo ("For a koi mistress").

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Noodles & Cabbage's avatar

OMG The Post has a new mission statement:

Riveting storytelling for all of America!

"Storytelling!"

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Sam Mertens's avatar

You made me go to their website and I didn’t see that. At least not on the mobile version. I was given the opportunity to “ask their AI” a question, and it told me Jennifer Rubin still works there.

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Helena Handbasket's avatar

That's from Andy Borowitz's website, along with:

The Kid Rock of Newspapers

Every Subscription Comes With Free Trump Bible

All the News by Writers Who Haven’t Quit

News? Fuck Yeah!

Ten Millionth Subscriber Gets to Ride in Bezos’s Rocket

Release the Kraken

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Sam Mertens's avatar

Just showed up in Contrarian. Jennifer Rubin still works there, too.

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Sasquatch's avatar

I went on the Post AI and asked it to show me a picture of Bozos buggering a sheep. The AI thought a bit and replied that it couldn't find one. I wonder if I can ask the Post AI to create one.

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Sam Mertens's avatar

“how many sheep has bezos buggered” returns one result, something about “gelatinous sheep goo”. Close enough.

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Ted Dreyer's avatar

The reader that claimed that Obama didn’t accomplish much is completely wrong. He claims that the ACA was just a tweaking of Medicaid, when in fact its two main improvements (eliminating lifetime benefit caps and letting kids stay on their parents’ policies until age 26) apply to everyone and have nothing to do with Medicaid.

In addition, the Dodd-Frank Act not only banned many of the most egregious lending practices, but also established the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau to prevent them from happening again. In light of the disaster of the Great Recession, these are huge changes.

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Not Simple, Ever's avatar

No disqualifying conditions. A sliding scale of contribution to your income, a central site with response and placement in the best program for you in your state. No net cost to the USG because of its cancelling inefficiency. The ACA is a singular accomplishment. Credit must also go to Romney, brilliant auteur of Bain and Romneycare, he had to subsequently deny.

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Dale of Green Gables's avatar

Suggest you get in touch with Jen Rubin of the "Contrarian" and propose a "Celebrity Invitational Stackoff." Imagine the publicity (keep trying...). As the expression goes, any publicity is good publicity. Might even momentarily raise the tone around here. Or you could suggest going mano a mano with Ms. Rubin. Bet she'd be a wiz at limericks using Supreme Court cases.

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Sam Mertens's avatar

Did Gene just earnestly ask somebody why they might be reluctant to put more holes in their head?

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Not Simple, Ever's avatar

This is a nice week. I really learn more about some really nifty people, like Kris Kristofferson, as we send them on. My irregular-mostly-crap gives me great satisfaction to reread, years-on, and I think I recopy more of what I write this week than any other submission in the year.

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Not Simple, Ever's avatar

Chris accessed more of Putin’s hilarity through final exit meetings, I’ve noinked to in the past:

To criticize Putin’s no joke

Budamov died of a stroke

Stairs are where easily men go

But falling down some killed Geraschenko

Can be fatal to criticize the administration

(Maganov by defenestration)

Which is falling from a high loft

Though depression was what killed Antov.

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Jon Ketzner's avatar

My poetry was lousy, you said

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Not Simple, Ever's avatar

Join the club haha though I got one into the retrospective. Do you submit to LoserNet so we can read them.

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Jon Ketzner's avatar

It’s bad enough that Gene and Pat have to wince through my lame verse; I wouldn’t want to subject good, decent people to that crap too

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Not Simple, Ever's avatar

Ha ha I’ll take a rain check on being good, decent people. 😂

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Linda Spiegler's avatar

Dear Pat,

About "she’ll include the same little clips she uses as adapters for her virgin lobes".

Too long, not funny, story short : I can't wear pierced earrings any longer and have several pairs I love. Can you let me know who, how, and where I can enter into your conversion plan please ?

Thanks, Linda Spiegler (linda.spiegler@frosch.com)

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Pat Myers's avatar

Hi, Linda: I use these little cheapazoid adapters, which are simply clips with tiny loops attached through which you thread the hook of the earring that normally goes through your earlobe. You don't have to worry about the quality of the metal because it's just attached on the outside. In my experience, they last several hours before starting to pinch. They obviously won't work on stud-type earrings. They're not going to work great for, say, exquisite diamond pendants, but they're perfect for hanging fake fish bags from your ears, or christmas ornaments, or little coffee cups, tacos, etc.

https://tinyurl.com/earring-clips-25

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Gene Weingarten's avatar

Patricia, can you write a short treatise here on why someone without a physical problem would choose not to pierce, but still wear earrings? I am not being judgmental or critical -- just curious. Inviting others, too.

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Pat Myers's avatar

Because I don't /have/ to have holes inserted in my ears?

I didn't have it done when most women did (in childhood/ early teens) and never felt the need for it. I have a lot of hair and my ears are usually covered anyway. I do have one pair of really nice clip-on earrings that don't pinch for a very long time, and I use those if I want to dress up.

Lately I've discovered the existence of silly novelty earrings -- hence the number of such prizes -- and found these clips to be an easy way to hang them from my lobes. Still, I have worn these goldfish bags and NO ONE NOTICED.

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Suzanne S Barnhill's avatar

I do have pierced ears--didn't get them pierced in college when my contemporaries did but later, when my daughter needed to get hers pierced--and I love having earrings for every occasion. I have a large tackle box of Christmas earrings and a smaller box of ones for other occasions. The other day in the checkout line of the grocery, the woman behind me noticed the snowman earrings that I was wearing with the jacket that has a snowman motif (you know it's cold when I wear my snowman jacket) and complimented me on my "attention to detail." But I rarely get compliments on my earrings even though I have very short hair.

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Dale of Green Gables's avatar

Which begs the question of why earrings to begin with -- that is apart from their well-known ability to ward off evil spirits? A nonaggressive means of self-expression? A learned habit? All of the above?

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Gene Weingarten's avatar

You misused begs the question so your question is invalid and must be ignored.

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Dale of Green Gables's avatar

I beg to differ. Just because someone wears earrings doesn't mean they like to wear earrings or feel comfortable doing so.Thus the necessary accepted circularity of someone must like wearing them because they're wearing them, which is what I'm questioning.

And besides, as a fondling member, all of my questions must be answered under Sec. 3l0 (c)(1a).

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Kitchen Cynic's avatar

Earrings have been worn for thousands of years, in multiple cultures.

Maybe people just lobe how they look.

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Dale of Green Gables's avatar

I'm sorry, but under the newly adopted TGP bylaws and covenants, the publication of which is almost certain to be enjoined by Aileen Cannon, that would be considered a lobe low.

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Linda Spiegler's avatar

Wore pierced earrings for decades and then my ear lobe split. The doc who stitched it said no more earrings--or did I want to pay him to put collagen into my earlobes as we lose collagen (apparently everywhere) when old. This answer is TMI, but I think someone asked why not pierced ears. Or I just wanted to be felt sorry for. I LOVED wearing pierced earrings. Thanks Pat for the info. Linda

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Bernie Burson's avatar

I wore earrings but did not pierce my ears until I was 35 because, I said, "I refuse to mutilate my body for the sake of ornament." I eventually realized that clip-on earrings that pinched like hell were doing a pretty decent job of mutilating my earlobes anyway (and tended to fall off and get lost), so I caved.

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Jill M Fosse's avatar

Me too. Never got my ears pierced and don’t want to, but am missing our on fabulous earrings.

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