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Just Lil Ole Me's avatar

I like the picture of the primate and vote for him to be the next SecDef, as I’d love to see him throwing poop at the other Cabinet members.

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bitchybitchybitchy's avatar

This primate likely has more social skills than Kegseth.

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Leakie's avatar

Hegseth throws poop at everyone.

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COL Mustard's avatar

He would be more likely to fling poop at the people who work at the Pentagon.

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Don Weingarten's avatar

Excellent sentiment, but it could be improved by the frequent use of the word “Lickspittle. “

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Dan McMahon's avatar

I think alternating between “lickspittle” and “bootlick” would be appropriate. I am put in mind of Swift’s brilliant and excoriating depiction of power when Gulliver is “allowed to lick the floor” to approach the ruler.

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Larry Yungk's avatar

Another way to distinguish the two cabinets, is that Lincoln insisted his cabinet members had to be vertebrates. Trump, on the other hand has ejected any being with a spine.

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John Hibbits's avatar

cool thing about behoove is that it can also mean to give a hoofed animal hooves (as in prosthetic ones, for example), or to remove them, natural or prosthetic, probably by violence (as a corollary to behead). Although, I've never seen either meaning used anywhere outside my head.

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Helena Handbasket's avatar

Or it could apply when you're dressing up for Halloween as Elmer the Bull (of Elmer's Glue fame). You gotta get behorned, betailed and behooved.

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Henry Cohen's avatar

"repulsive womanizing cad" -- is that the worst you can call a sexual assaulter? Hegseth acknowledged that he paid $50,000 to a woman who accused him of sexually assaulting her.

https://19thnews.org/2025/01/pete-hegseth-settlement-amount/

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Dale of Green Gables's avatar

How about instead of a "Team of Slimeballs,"A Confederacy of Dunces," since we're dealing with another lazy, overweight misanthrope?

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Carl Ford's avatar

All I can say to this is...poop.

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Maja Keech's avatar

Was Kristi what's her name planning to flee the country? Why else have her passport, security badge and all that money in her purse?

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HGT2's avatar

Somehow this post made me feel better. This is objectively an accomplishment, as I am a federal worker (still employed, fingers crossed) in my gazillionth week of anxiety-induced insomnia. I fear the picture will continue to keep me awake at night though.

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Dale of Green Gables's avatar

I'm going with (alternating):

(1) First Huindred Daze

(2) First Hundred Maze

(3) First Hundred Tase

(4) First Hundred Craze

(5) WTF!

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Lynne Larkin's avatar

Gigantic kudos to Val on her artistic piece!!

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Leslie G's avatar

The Photoshopped illustration is good of four of the wackos, but Rubio looks like his head was cut out of a magazine and glued on. And is Felon (the F is silent) Musk really that pale? Maybe he is. The Puppy Killer, The Drunk, The Lawless Lawyer and the 🍊🤡 look pretty realistic, though.

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Sasquatch's avatar

The way Elon's head is positioned in the picture reminds me of Andrew Jackson's head on the Twenty Dollar bill.

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Dale of Green Gables's avatar

Ah yes, been awhile since I thought about the talented Naruto. That's who took a simian selfie which sparked the first-of-its-kind lawsuit (at least in the U.S.) on animal eligibility to be copyright holders or controllers/beneficiaries of intellectual property using their likenesses. Naruto had come across a camera owned by a wildlife photog and, as a male crested black macaque will do, began taking photographs --- some of the forest floor, some of other macaques, and several of himself, one of which resulted in the now-famous selfie. And you thought A.I. is the only challenge to creatives. Even though U.S. copyright law doesn't specifically exclude animals from copyright ownership, a district court judge deferred that decision on eligibility to Naruto's slightly more evolved succedents in Congress. However, his day in court paid off when both sides (PETA and the photog) agreed to a settlement in which 25% of future gross revenue of the images taken by Naruto would be donated to charitable organizations that protect Naruto, his community, or their habitat. The appeals court ruled however, that Naruto had no standing --- a slight some say to quadrupedalism --- the favored macque mode of locomotion.

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Ed Rorie's avatar

The only tool required to remove B, C, and D from consideration in the second pool is Occam's Razor. Also, when the word first appeared in English, nobody had ever heard of Alaska.

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Peter Kongstvedt's avatar

I would personally like to see more use of the 19th century descriptive term “fart catcher.”

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Just Lil Ole Me's avatar

The Norwegian word for speed is “fart”, so a speed bump is a fartdumper. I’d rather dump a fart than catch one!

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Sasquatch's avatar

Don't forget the Fartlek.

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heydave56's avatar

What's in the basket?

Oh, I use that for catching....

Sounds warped.

I like it.

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Suzy Graff's avatar

Thank you for making me laugh out loud!! Mr.T will go down in history as one of the most loathsome presidents. As a con artist his shock and awe tactics probably do contribute to Frump Derangement Syndrome…. All designed to distract and confuse the masses. You couldn’t make this shit up. Apparently there’s an app where it shows how many days left till he’s out…. Kicking and screaming and locking himself in the room with his golden toilet and shower.

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Helena Handbasket's avatar

I'd rather have the REAL Mr. T as President. And as for Trump, "I pity the fool." Except I don't -- pity him, that is. Just loathe him.

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John Tuorila's avatar

Or possibly "toilet and golden shower"?

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