45 Comments

"Kiss Cam," you say? Immediately reminded me of the quote variously attributed to the great Cubs announcer Harry Carey or legendary Cardinals pitcher and uh...wordsmith...Dizzy Dean, who announced the CBS Game of the Week with Dodger great Pee Wee Reese. In either case, during lulls in the action over several innings, a camera would pan the crowd and pick up a couple in the stands kissing. After several of these liplocks, Carey (or Dean) said: "I get it now. He kisses her on the strikes…she kisses him on the balls." There was supposedly an immediate cut to a commercial.

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So, Dale, you’ve left the door wide open for me to reply and pile up more red cards, or maybe even another mauve card. But I’ll be strong this time, and resist temptation. Just this once.

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Don't interrupt me while I'm being hoisted by my own petard.

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Interestingly -- or not -- a petard is a bomb, not some kind of winch. But you knew that.

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The point is (should you have been following our jocular give-and-take these many weeks) I am doing what I accuse them of doing. A variation of the original meaning of the expression perhaps, but certainly nothing to do with a winch as you rightfully note.

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Maeve and Siobhan are nice Irish names.

What's mediocre or ridiculous about them? There are a lot worse out there.

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Speaking of "definately," remember when Gene wrote a Googlenope column and "I definately support Bush" was NOT a Googlenope, but for all the other candidates it was? And someone wrote into the chat who just did NOT get the joke and haughtily informed Gene that he had undermined that portion of the column by the misspellings.

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I do remember.

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In fact, I seem to recall that you tried to explain, but they just doubled down.

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I just spent an embarrassing few seconds trying to wipe that "caraway seed" off my screen. It was the insect emoji.

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Many years ago, I took my mother-in-law Dot, a longtime baseball fan, to a Rangers home game against the Red Sox. We had second row seats down the line behind third base. Between innings, I noticed the Kiss Cam scanning the crowd for couples, which made me a little nervous. During the 7th inning break, the Cam zoomed in on us. I kissed Dot on the cheek and heard mixed applause and booing. She's in memory care now and will turn 99 in August. I'm 80.

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You would have to forgive automakers for being hypersensitive about car badge names and going with combinations of letters and numbers as a default, considering the legendary fails in the past. Like the Mazda LaPuta (non-Spanish speakers can look it up), the Probe (Ford) and two of my personal favorites, the Mitsubishi Pajero (again Spanish slang, for someone who engages in a personal sexual act) and the Honda Fitta (original name of what quickly became simply the Fit), which not only was Swedish for the c-word, but would have carried the unfortunate slogan: "Small on the outside, big on the inside."

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The mighty RAV-4 is a Recreation Active Vehicle with 4wd, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toyota_RAV4#:~:text=The%20vehicle's%20name%20is%20an,the%20four%2Dwheel%20drive%20system.

Gene should have chosen the Mazda Bongo (not a US-market model).

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What about the Chevy Nova which didn't sell among Spanish and Italian speakers.

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A funny (and satisfying) story but, something of a canard. In fact, a quick check shows it did sell well in Chevy's then primary Spanish- language markets of Mexico and Venezuela. But, like I said, a good "story" and moreover, one that has a certain ring of truth about it.

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A reason for leaving comments instead of using the BOB is that the BOB leads to googledocs which is blocked by many servers when Substack is not. Also, some servers even block Substack forcing people to grab a phone at lunchtime and try to participate.

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How could your list of minor teams not include the Albuquerque Istopes who changed their name after a Simpsons episode had the Springfield Isotopes relocate to The Duke City?

Note: Their prior name was the Albuquerque Dukes because everyone knows Albuquerque is The Duke City.

Go ‘Topes!

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I left this in comments: Why not; mention the close-to-home Hagerstown Flying Boxcars?

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That name is awesome in actually being connected to Homer!

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I believe that the sixth commandment is more accurately expressed as “Thou shalt not murder.”

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What, no mention of the Savannah Bananas!? Scandalous. What other team plays in kilts (sends out a batter and pitcher on stilts) and performs choreographed dances every game, including the wildly popular "3-2-2," (3rd inning, second batter, second pitch) unique in-game pre-pitch dances. But wait, there's more. If the antics on the field aren't enough (and yes, occasionally baseball is played), there's also the Banana Nanas, a seniors dance team; the Man-Nana’s, a Dad bod cheerleading squad; and the Banana Splitz, a youth dance team. Then (urp!) who could say no to all-you-can-eat hot dogs and hamburgers at historic Grayson Stadium, known as "Bananaland." Used to be in the Coastal Plain League and left of its own accord --- or not.

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I suggest a sure fire way for Orange 1 to self-immolate (and a sure cure for insomnia, in general ) would be to change the debate format to that of the Lincoln-Douglas "debates" (for Douglas' US Senate seat). One man spoke for an hour. The other guy then rebutted for an hour and a half and finally, the first man had a half hour for his rebuttal.

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What would a mention of the 15...uh...10 Commandments be (at least in the context of the Louisiana nonsense) without the scene from Mel Brooks' "History of the World (Part1)" with Mel as Moses.

https://www.google.com/search?q=mel+brooks+10+commandments&oq=mel+brooks+10+commandments&aqs=chrome..69i57.14244j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:562afdc7,vid:I48hr8HhDv0,st:0

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I knew a Siobhan once. She was most definitely named as a matter of Irish heritage and not a matter of trendiness. Unless you were to consider her a trendsetter a generation or three ahead of her time.

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I still knew what mauve was even though I’m Daltonian (I find the term “colorblind” offensively ableist).

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Is it adultery if I’m not the married one?

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thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image. Subsequent interpretations have said graven image OF GOD, not just images in general. I used to think it meat photography, but it's apparently just 3-d/sculptural representation of God or Gods . it's a little confusing. So it's not like you can't do sculpture in general.

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