51 Comments

It's more fun to tell the punchlines without the setups. "And it's deep, too."

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And opposite of that is "The Aristocrats!"

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Okay, then death by roo-roo!

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That is not the punchline.

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We should kill him for this transgression. But first, a little roo-roo.

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Exactly.

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Version I've heard:

setup... setup... setup...

Choose death or roo-roo.

I choose death

Okay, then, death by roo-roo!

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"Death by roo-roo" makes no sense as a punchline because they have all just watched someone die by roo-roo.

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Yeah, well ... no. This is very important joke to me and I will cede not an inch of ground. The line is "Very well. But first, a little roo-roo."

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Those of you watching the hoary "roo roo" joke being autopsied before your very eyes, will almost certainly want to submit other classic bits of humor you may have grown tired of, for a similar fate. Have that last laugh or chortle then consign it to the pathologists here, knowing, perhaps sadly, that it will be the last time anyone --- at least anyone here --- will think it's funny again.

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In Texas they had a joke that I was so very sick of, and the last line was "Remember the Alamo, said the Texican when he tossed another passenger out the door." Or this is as close as I want to get.

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One of the best "so bad, it's good" movies ever made was Space Munity, but it really takes the MST3K crowd to make it better. Oddly, the MSTies never noted the film shamelessly used material from Battlestar Galactica. The continuity error of a character being killed only to show up in the next scene seconds later was spectacular.

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Not so extreme, but always provokes a laugh from me is a movie like West Side Story, where the lead male is lying there dying but not so much so that he can't first belt out a song.

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It’s opera, happens all the time. How can Mimi, dying of consumption, deliver her final aria? It’s opera.

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I agree, in opera it is beautiful. It's just some movie musicals where I have trouble taking it seriously.

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Regarding movie stinkers, the following is a review I wrote on Amazon about the 1943 version of “The Phantom of the Opera.” That version was so stinky that, after watching it almost ten years ago, I’m still spraying the house.

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This is an absolutely horrendous rendition of the story that we "phans" have come to know and love. The background music and opera music are far too light to fit in a thriller. Furthermore, the comedic love triangle (Christine, Raoul, and a baritone named Anatole, who sounds more like a tenor) occupies much of the movie. While entertaining, that subplot takes away from the original story as written by Gaston Leroux.

It is possible that 48-year-old Erique Claudin, who has a pre-existing obsession with Christine, would go mad over the theft of his concerto. However, it seems impossible for the nebbishy violinist to suddenly develop the physical agility necessary to function as the Phantom, especially because we know that one of his hands has gone numb. Also, the story reveals Erique's obsession by revealing that he has gone broke paying for Christine's singing lessons. A far better way to introduce the obsession would be to show him paying the instructor after Christine's lesson.

The set, costumes, and singing are extraordinary, but the costumes do not fit with the late Victorian era. They seem to fit in the 1930's, but the candles in the chandelier imply that the story takes place much earlier. Either the chandelier or the costumes belong to the wrong era.

The only moment that is worthy of being called a horror movie or thriller is Erique's escorting an unwilling Christine to his underground lair, and telling her how happy they'll be together. Even the chandelier sequence falls flat, pun intended. Some versions of the story emphasize romance over horror, but there is no romance to place this story on the romantic side of the Phantom spectrum.

Don't waste your time with this weird, dreadful movie. If you want horror, stick with Lon Chaney or Robert Englund. If you want romance, try Charles Dance or Gerard Butler or the 25th anniversary video. Here, you get Archie Bunker and Meathead, with Raoul and Anatole trying to fit through a door at the same time.

I'd say two thumbs down, but it's really at least four or five thumbs down for this stinker.

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I think that Gene needs to re-think his characterization of his former colleague as "brilliant." If the guy is brilliant, how can he possibly be a MAGAt? I've experienced several instances in which I've re-evaluated estimation of another person's intelligence and/or expertise based on their totally insane take on some matter of politics or public policy.

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You'd have to read his resume. He is a national expert on a certain phenomenon and has writ five or six books. He gets good advances. He writes extraordinarily well. I'd ID him, but our communication was private.

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I wouldn't want to know his -- I'm assuming it's "his" -- name. In such instances, I start wondering about the depth and breadth of his delusions. It's a negative instance of the Halo Effect. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halo_effect

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A wonderful GENE POOL today. Thank you. Was mowing the yard for what I hoped to be the last time this year, and the mower drive belt broke 30-40 minutes from the finish. So bummed.

Sitting on the back porch, reading you. I see Dave's definition of 'sense of humor'. YES. Laugh, to keep from crying.

Kermit Jagger. YES. A delightful joke in keeping with my love for wordplay.

Jeff Tiedrich. YES. Thanks for the mention. Another genius to follow. Had seen the Melania thing in a piece about the 'Australian billionaire' that the big cheeto showed classified docs.

Your story about your old friend who has lost his mind drinking the kool-aid. YES. It's the story of my life. On one hand, I envy you not having to discard friends and family for their loonbucket fuckwittery. On the other, I am saddened because I have to discard so many.

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I am sorry that you've had to do that.

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Thanks. Just won't tolerate that willful ignorance.

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I had the same reaction to the comments on the Jim Jordan story, and put many of the commenters on Ignore. I figure that if someone can't be bothered to read a story before they comment, or if they are so dense that they mistake a damning portrait for a "puff piece," then their comments aren't worth reading.

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Yep. Like people posting reviews 'I haven't used it yet...'.

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I was the one who sent that in.

It seemed like unpleasant confirmation of the already evident truth that people on the left are just as--or at least almost as--closed-minded as those on the other side. Mary Trump was inveighing about on her substack blog as well, to a chorus of righteous indignation from her subscribers, all of whom seemed convinced that calling Jim Jordan "relentlessly aggressive" was somehow laudatory.

Also, all the people who think it's damningly witty to call him "Gym Jordan."

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Perhaps "Gym" has now lost whatever amusement value it once had. Problem is, the comment moderators at the WaPo frown on the use of "asshole."

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I like "co-conspirator" or just "crook."

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My advertising professor in 1987 told that Frog/Knick-knack joke. I don't remember why, but we all laughed because he was a pretty funny guy in general and we all liked the class. See? This is how long bad/memorable jokes stay stuck in your brain.

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I did see the apology in the Times yesterday, and was relieved. Thank you for concurring, I was baffled.

TIL 2 minutes ago - "Werewolf of Washington," my personal choice as worst movie because I thought it was serious, was actually supposed to be a satire on the Nixon administration. Worth watching again - I used to host a monthly Bad Movie Night, doing a MST 3000 thing before I knew that existed, and that was a fave.

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Gene-You need to get a job. Reading the re-telling of a bad movie is worse than listening to Somone's dream. I didn't waste what is left of my life on this misuse of yours and my time. Me thinks you are running out of material!

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Gene’s review was comfort food amusing…not everything can be “ Rubber Soul.” I do find odd that 75 million American adults voted for Trump in 2020 and not a single one orbits in Gene’s solar system. He is such an acute observer of the human condition, yet for this huge cohort he only relies on secondary sources, all probably within an insular echo chamber. He needs to play pickleball with some of Maureen Dowd’s siblings.

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"You go have a drink with Mitch ..." is my attitude. Gene has good taste and good associates. No need to look to be disgusted. Enough already finds us.

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She's right, Lynne. I have committed suppuku in shame.

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Sorry, hope the mess is cleaned up before you blame the dog.

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I do listen to dreams. They may be the only glimpse we have of the meta universe. "Sideways in time."

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If anything could be more ill-fated than the film itself, the principals in "The Mystery of the 13th Guest" all died before 60 --- Parrish and Purcell in their 30s.

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Worst movies: Legal Eagles and Spring Breakers.

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I’m guessing from the way you phrased that, it’s two separate movies, but I’m hoping that it’s just one.

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That is a strange anecdote about Trump. Stranger to me is that, in that, I would see a little whimsy, a little glimmer-in-the-eye spontaneity, which although supremely offensive in the prospect for his wife, would just be a moment of letdown from his constant lying and verbal assault of the people holding him to account, and of everything else.

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Why bother, there are several series of photos available online of a younger Melania in "RevealWear," including her birthday suit.

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The Australia's 60 Minutes story included a recording of an Aussie who was at the table when Trump made that comment. He also said Melania was present and replied that she'd do it only if Trump joined her in a men's bikini swimsuit.

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I think she would be terribly pleased to comply.

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My all time favorite so bad, it’s wonderful stinker is “The Adventurers,” a picture made at great cost with a superstar cast ( including the amazing Charles Aznavour 50 Shades of Graying his ass off) from about 1970. It’s based on a Harold Robbins best-seller. And it is magnificent.

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One of the absolutely strangest (both in terms of content and real life backstory) and worst movies has to be (drum roll) --- yes, from Ed Wood --- "Glen or Glenda" --- a mockumentary about crossdressing (a pastime of Wood's) and transvestism. It was supposed to exploit the then prurient interest in the world's first publicized sex-change operation --- the reassignment surgery of Christine Jorgensen in 1952. Instead, to the producer's chagrin. Wood made a bad film about tolerance, although the second part of it is about an intersex "Alan" who fights in WWII wearing women's underwear and afterward, undergoes gender-affirming surgery becoming "Anna" --- apparently satisfying (at least partially) the demand for a "sex-change" movie. So bad, it has now become a cult favorite.

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