Welcome to the Weekend Gene Pool, where we trade you entertainment for your personal anecdotes and observations on a subject we choose. The entertainment is above. It is a clock for sale on eBay. It is also the ugliest clock I have ever seen, and I am a lifelong clock watcher. It is a Victorian era boudoir porcelain cherub table clock grunted out by the New Haven clock company in 1880 or so. Yes, people put this ostentatiously saccharine, vomitous thing in their bedrooms. It also chimes so you get to look at it more often. It is in near perfect physical shape, and it runs!
This is Gene. ALERT: There seems to be no way to send images through the Google Form orange button. If you have an image, send it separately to me at weingarten102@gmail.com. Make sure to tell me which post it refers to.
I found it hard to choose between "pretty darn ugly" and "I like it a lot."
It is really very ugly, and I quite like it. I wouldn't buy it, but then I'm not a clock nut. But I'd definitely display it in my home, where it would have to vie for the "most excruciating bibelot" place of dishonor.
The clock's face is actually okay looking; in another case it could make for a perfectly handsome mantlepiece clock. If they really wanted to go for Baroque [see what I did there?], they'd have used Roman numerals and some super fancy curlicued hands to round out the Hummel figurine vibe. The disparity of that face in that case, though, really brings home the fugly.
I had hoped to find online a picture of one of those awful clocks in the shape of a woman with a clock in her belly (apparently they're called "tummy clocks"), but Google kept serving up stock illustrations for "biological clock" (tummy with clock in front of it, etc.). The best I could find was this: https://www.flickr.com/photos/15079109@N08/3915101431, which I think might be a rival to yours.
I have seen things so repellent that they haunt my dreams. This is merely something I never want to see again, although it fills me with the knowledge of the horrors that humanity may enact merely because they want to do so. So there is that.
I like this clock, especially the feet, which make it look like the cherub is moseying off the bureau. I also think the cherub resembles some famous man, maybe a comedian, but can't think of whom.
Interesting story about the Atlanta street photo. It was taken by George Barnard, just days after Sherman seized the city in Sept., 1864, ending the slave auction in Whitehall Street. Bernard was Sherman's official photographer and is acknowledged as one of the first "news" photogs.
Why does it appear to have two winding stems? One at about 4:30 and the other at about 7:30. Is one to wind it and the other to set its hands to the correct time? One to wind it and the other to cause it to detonate? It really is putrid; I don't even like the color.
When my wife and I were in Vietnam, after the cease fire in 1972, we got two white elephants. When things were difficult in 1975 we packed them up and mailed them home. We sat in the Post office part of the embassy for two hours or so to mail them, then went back to Bien Hoa north of the city. They were known as BUFE's and lots of people got them. But we still have them. Just tell me how to attach a picture and I will send it. I had a list of all the stuff I wanted to bring back from Vietnam, and although our household stuff did not leave Vietnam until August that year, diplomacy got them back to us in Texas; end tables and all and even a few cans of tuna which were good in graduate school.
I was given a teacher appreciation gift one year by one of my adorable preschool students, who had brought it back from a trip to Disney World. He was so excited to give me this treasure that I received it in the spirit in which it was given, but I wish I knew how to post a photo of it here so you could see it. It was a chubby, smiling, shiny dolphin character, maybe 5 inches tall standing on its tail and dressed in every color of the rainbow. It was breakable, so it had been wrapped carefully for the trip home.
My Physicist husband attended a conference at LSU and was given a gift by a colleague who was a professor there, known for his quirky sense of humor. Inside the box was a preserved alligator, about two feet long. My husband brought it home, and it was refused entry by me. He took it to work and put it in his top secret lab, guarding his computer keyboard. I believe his successor inherited it and it remains there to this day.
At one consulting company where I worked, everyone was given a cell phone stand emblazoned with the company name to put on our desks as advertising inside the customer’s site. Problem: Our customers forbade the use of cell phones in their workspaces. Corporate types had these stupid little customized objects made that were useless.
I have a photo to submit but can't figure out where to click to attach a photo on the page beyond the much-less-ugly orange button. Pasting doesn't work. Please advise.
Send it to me at weingarten102@gmail.com. make sure you indicate which post it pertains to! Not just your name. In the comments, where I referred to the "Much-less-ugly orange button,"
I don’t understand why the picture was taken down because it disturbed some. History is full of ugliness that must be confronted, not shielded because it can be upsetting.
This is Gene. ALERT: There seems to be no way to send images through the Google Form orange button. If you have an image, send it separately to me at weingarten102@gmail.com. Make sure to tell me which post it refers to.
I found it hard to choose between "pretty darn ugly" and "I like it a lot."
It is really very ugly, and I quite like it. I wouldn't buy it, but then I'm not a clock nut. But I'd definitely display it in my home, where it would have to vie for the "most excruciating bibelot" place of dishonor.
The clock's face is actually okay looking; in another case it could make for a perfectly handsome mantlepiece clock. If they really wanted to go for Baroque [see what I did there?], they'd have used Roman numerals and some super fancy curlicued hands to round out the Hummel figurine vibe. The disparity of that face in that case, though, really brings home the fugly.
What I don't understand about the face, though, is the round things between 4 and 5 and 7 and 8. They definitely add to the ugly.
I believe those are the keyholes for winding the clock and chimes.
They are that, indeed. Right, time, left, chime. Most antique clox have those.
Makes sense. Still not exactly beautifying.
Function should have priority over esthetics.
I had hoped to find online a picture of one of those awful clocks in the shape of a woman with a clock in her belly (apparently they're called "tummy clocks"), but Google kept serving up stock illustrations for "biological clock" (tummy with clock in front of it, etc.). The best I could find was this: https://www.flickr.com/photos/15079109@N08/3915101431, which I think might be a rival to yours.
I found a Buddha belly and some odd town crier belly, but no women!
That is very good. With the additional contribution that it's made of plastic.
This reminds me of one of the best episodes of Frasier, where Martin insists they bring this clock to Antiques Roadshow. https://thumbs.worthpoint.com/zoom/images1/1/0408/09/michael-ricker-pewter-fraiser-tv-bear-w-clock_1_e8789be663c5c2558b256c7b141bb3b8.jpg
"Direct image access denied, please go to worthpoint.com to view images." Maybe https://www.reddit.com/r/Frasier/comments/inzn09/thats_pretty_much_what_i_expected/ or, more pointedly, https://www.reddit.com/r/Frasier/comments/11dwqi3/were_not_romanovs_were_descended_from_thieves_and/
Interestingly, Walmart at some point had a seated version: https://www.walmart.com/ip/Black-Bear-Mantel-Clock/747196190
We can all chip in and have the clock sent to the Hydraulic Press Channel for squishing. Maybe the seller accepts offers for a good cause.
Noooooooo! We must savor the weirdness!
I have seen things so repellent that they haunt my dreams. This is merely something I never want to see again, although it fills me with the knowledge of the horrors that humanity may enact merely because they want to do so. So there is that.
I like this clock, especially the feet, which make it look like the cherub is moseying off the bureau. I also think the cherub resembles some famous man, maybe a comedian, but can't think of whom.
Interesting story about the Atlanta street photo. It was taken by George Barnard, just days after Sherman seized the city in Sept., 1864, ending the slave auction in Whitehall Street. Bernard was Sherman's official photographer and is acknowledged as one of the first "news" photogs.
Why does it appear to have two winding stems? One at about 4:30 and the other at about 7:30. Is one to wind it and the other to set its hands to the correct time? One to wind it and the other to cause it to detonate? It really is putrid; I don't even like the color.
Right one is to wind the time. Left is to wind the chime.
Ah. Thanks for the clarification. How do you SET the time?
You turn the hands -- forward only -- by hand.
When my wife and I were in Vietnam, after the cease fire in 1972, we got two white elephants. When things were difficult in 1975 we packed them up and mailed them home. We sat in the Post office part of the embassy for two hours or so to mail them, then went back to Bien Hoa north of the city. They were known as BUFE's and lots of people got them. But we still have them. Just tell me how to attach a picture and I will send it. I had a list of all the stuff I wanted to bring back from Vietnam, and although our household stuff did not leave Vietnam until August that year, diplomacy got them back to us in Texas; end tables and all and even a few cans of tuna which were good in graduate school.
I was given a teacher appreciation gift one year by one of my adorable preschool students, who had brought it back from a trip to Disney World. He was so excited to give me this treasure that I received it in the spirit in which it was given, but I wish I knew how to post a photo of it here so you could see it. It was a chubby, smiling, shiny dolphin character, maybe 5 inches tall standing on its tail and dressed in every color of the rainbow. It was breakable, so it had been wrapped carefully for the trip home.
Send it to me at weingarten102@gmail.com
Sadly It is no longer on its shelf, I must have donated it to Good Will some years ago and did not remember.
My Physicist husband attended a conference at LSU and was given a gift by a colleague who was a professor there, known for his quirky sense of humor. Inside the box was a preserved alligator, about two feet long. My husband brought it home, and it was refused entry by me. He took it to work and put it in his top secret lab, guarding his computer keyboard. I believe his successor inherited it and it remains there to this day.
At one consulting company where I worked, everyone was given a cell phone stand emblazoned with the company name to put on our desks as advertising inside the customer’s site. Problem: Our customers forbade the use of cell phones in their workspaces. Corporate types had these stupid little customized objects made that were useless.
I have a photo to submit but can't figure out where to click to attach a photo on the page beyond the much-less-ugly orange button. Pasting doesn't work. Please advise.
Yep only inserting the link to the pic works.
Send it to me at weingarten102@gmail.com. make sure you indicate which post it pertains to! Not just your name. In the comments, where I referred to the "Much-less-ugly orange button,"
or something
Just sent it by email.
Done. :)
A few more entrants in the figural clock "Thank goodness it chimes" sweepstakes:
https://i.etsystatic.com/7808254/c/499/499/228/0/il/b97875/1688915990/il_600x600.1688915990_67v1.jpg
https://i.etsystatic.com/11282715/c/660/660/0/202/il/d33aa5/4543351305/il_600x600.4543351305_1cex.jpg
https://i.etsystatic.com/30564166/r/il/294d4a/3550733226/il_600x600.3550733226_c282.jpg
"It's a little lumpy, but it rings."
Dolly Levi, via Carol Channing.
I don’t understand why the picture was taken down because it disturbed some. History is full of ugliness that must be confronted, not shielded because it can be upsetting.