I'd check in with the cheater first and give them 48 hours to confess. I'm not colluding in deceiving a friend. Also, no one really knows what's going on in a marriage unless they are in it, so when I check with the cheater, I'd come in gently. "What the hell are you doing? Stop fucking up."
Because you always know that you didn't quite measure up or it wouldn't have happened. Or at least that other people may be thinking that, and there's no explanation that doesn't sound defensive.
Oh yeah, definitely. I'm not keeping that secret. Just, if the cheater is a friend, I would give them some chance to admit first. Somewhat forced, but there are people who still would not confess.
Blackmail comes to mind or new friends. As to weight loss, I find wearing nothing but a smile does wonders. Also gives a whole new meaning to "Neighborhood Watch."
Ha! Marty Gallagher, who used to have a fitness chat at the same time as Chatalogical humor, used to advise people to get nekkid, then stare at themselves in a full length mirror for two minutes. Works.
I really wouldn’t tell. I knew a relationship where the cheat-on had conducted a catastrophic cheat previously, that broke them up. They got back together but didn’t necessarily reconcile. Just saying, you don’t know that dinner or even flirting you observe is cheating, it may be harmless or a don’t ask don’t tell when flirting. You also don’t know if it’s hedging the direction of the relationship that isn’t the cheat-er’s fault.
You sure this was actual "cheating," as opposed to a polyamorous relationship ? Exactly how close are these friends ? If polyamory is abed, probably not something that likely would be shared. I'd tread very carefully about confronting anyone with anything.
In Friends Phoebe saw Chandler at a house in the suburbs with another woman and thought he was cheating on Monica. When confronted, Monica said, what did you think about the house?
Food-free diets are good. The "Lick It Off" program (not to be confused with the sex guide of the same name) using food-flavored or infused lickable pictures of food is particularly effective --- for three or four days. Amazing how quickly coated paper moves through the digestive system.This compares with the liquid-only Mediterranean diet (boiling suggested) and the Lake Chaubunagungamaug diet, which only requires you to pronounce the name five times before each meal. Then, of course, there's the always popular scale-free program. Also found when living in NYC, strictly following "The New York Times Rave Restaurant Review" diet definitely cut down on dinners. As an aside, you may notice that "Founding" doohickey now next to my display name. I had no choice. But the extra 50 bucks is worth having Fluffy back, even with one ear.
LANON (the anonymous librarian) And I went to my doctor several years ago and had lost about 25 pounds and he asked me: "Why did you lose weight?" I said: "You asked me to." And yes, he remembered that when I was about ten pounds over. I told him I had cut out snacks and had a very small evening meal since then. "Do not lose any more." he said then. But the next year was about ten pounds down and last year about five and I will see what happens in May. Not so funny (ha ha) but it does seem odd. So does being 83 this year.
If you're able to maintain or increase your preferred level of activity (whatever it is), maintain your balance, and all your labs and scans are within normal range, AND your doctor is not concerned, you should embrace your 83 years. (Speaking as one going for 85 this year.) Surely you've heard the Satchel Paige quote: "Don't look back; something might be gaining on you."
Excellent response and much like my attitude. I do know that quote very well. My balance is good, but I do have times to wonder if I am OK. So far, so good. Thanks!
The arrangements of their marriage are none of my business. Maybe it’s not cheating! If, however, the closer spouse said things about the unshakable fidelity or their beloved, I would confront the cheater. No ultimatum, bc again, not my place, but I would make it clear that I thought they were a piece of shit if they don’t stop it.
It happened. I was much better friends with the victim. I did tell her I saw her husband eating out with a woman. There were no other details to tell. She must have had some suspicion as that is all I had to say. They divorced. He married the other woman; and later another woman. She has thanked me over the year for my revelation.
I'd check in with the cheater first and give them 48 hours to confess. I'm not colluding in deceiving a friend. Also, no one really knows what's going on in a marriage unless they are in it, so when I check with the cheater, I'd come in gently. "What the hell are you doing? Stop fucking up."
I would call that "telling the cheated-on". You are forcing them to confess, and if they don't, you do it. Same difference.
Yeah, but the cheated-on wouldn't have the additional shame of knowing that the friend knows the partner is cheating. (If you can follow that . . .)
I know not everyone sees things like I do, but I see zero shame for the cheated on.
The one cheated-on has absolutely no reason to feel ashamed, but that doesn't seem to mitigate the fact that the vast majority will feel ashamed.
Yeah, you are right. Cheating hurts in a variety of ways.
Because you always know that you didn't quite measure up or it wouldn't have happened. Or at least that other people may be thinking that, and there's no explanation that doesn't sound defensive.
Not ashamed of being cheated on, exactly, but that people knew it before the cheated-on person did.
Oh yeah, definitely. I'm not keeping that secret. Just, if the cheater is a friend, I would give them some chance to admit first. Somewhat forced, but there are people who still would not confess.
I answered “I think not”, and I freely admit that the reason is cowardice.
Gene, my wife saw the picture at the top of today's Gene Pool and wants to know where you get your pedicures.
Blackmail comes to mind or new friends. As to weight loss, I find wearing nothing but a smile does wonders. Also gives a whole new meaning to "Neighborhood Watch."
Ha! Marty Gallagher, who used to have a fitness chat at the same time as Chatalogical humor, used to advise people to get nekkid, then stare at themselves in a full length mirror for two minutes. Works.
Reminds me of the song "I Don't Look Good Naked Anymore" by The Snake Oil Willie Band.
I really wouldn’t tell. I knew a relationship where the cheat-on had conducted a catastrophic cheat previously, that broke them up. They got back together but didn’t necessarily reconcile. Just saying, you don’t know that dinner or even flirting you observe is cheating, it may be harmless or a don’t ask don’t tell when flirting. You also don’t know if it’s hedging the direction of the relationship that isn’t the cheat-er’s fault.
You sure this was actual "cheating," as opposed to a polyamorous relationship ? Exactly how close are these friends ? If polyamory is abed, probably not something that likely would be shared. I'd tread very carefully about confronting anyone with anything.
In Friends Phoebe saw Chandler at a house in the suburbs with another woman and thought he was cheating on Monica. When confronted, Monica said, what did you think about the house?
Food-free diets are good. The "Lick It Off" program (not to be confused with the sex guide of the same name) using food-flavored or infused lickable pictures of food is particularly effective --- for three or four days. Amazing how quickly coated paper moves through the digestive system.This compares with the liquid-only Mediterranean diet (boiling suggested) and the Lake Chaubunagungamaug diet, which only requires you to pronounce the name five times before each meal. Then, of course, there's the always popular scale-free program. Also found when living in NYC, strictly following "The New York Times Rave Restaurant Review" diet definitely cut down on dinners. As an aside, you may notice that "Founding" doohickey now next to my display name. I had no choice. But the extra 50 bucks is worth having Fluffy back, even with one ear.
LANON (the anonymous librarian) And I went to my doctor several years ago and had lost about 25 pounds and he asked me: "Why did you lose weight?" I said: "You asked me to." And yes, he remembered that when I was about ten pounds over. I told him I had cut out snacks and had a very small evening meal since then. "Do not lose any more." he said then. But the next year was about ten pounds down and last year about five and I will see what happens in May. Not so funny (ha ha) but it does seem odd. So does being 83 this year.
If you're able to maintain or increase your preferred level of activity (whatever it is), maintain your balance, and all your labs and scans are within normal range, AND your doctor is not concerned, you should embrace your 83 years. (Speaking as one going for 85 this year.) Surely you've heard the Satchel Paige quote: "Don't look back; something might be gaining on you."
Excellent response and much like my attitude. I do know that quote very well. My balance is good, but I do have times to wonder if I am OK. So far, so good. Thanks!
The arrangements of their marriage are none of my business. Maybe it’s not cheating! If, however, the closer spouse said things about the unshakable fidelity or their beloved, I would confront the cheater. No ultimatum, bc again, not my place, but I would make it clear that I thought they were a piece of shit if they don’t stop it.
It happened. I was much better friends with the victim. I did tell her I saw her husband eating out with a woman. There were no other details to tell. She must have had some suspicion as that is all I had to say. They divorced. He married the other woman; and later another woman. She has thanked me over the year for my revelation.