Regarding your decision to tweak the subscription model: As an experienced marketer, I approve.
I suspect that you might find this more distressing than comforting, given that you probably don't hold marketers in high regard.
Fair enough.
But I consider subscription marketing to be a specialty, and in my professional opinion, you're a natural.
The "freemiun" model, in which the majority of subscribers never pay a cent but get limited access, is often the best formula for growth, revenue, and overall reach.
But most creators get it wrong.
They consider their content too precious.
Either they don't value the free subscribers enough, and resist giving them anything of real value, or they operate in fear of losing them and hesitate to remind people to "upgrade," and resist putting too much behind a paywall.
I think you're nailing that balance. You keep the reminders to pay constant and relentless but fresh and funny, and you've made them integral to the experience of being a subscriber. Yet you clearly value those who aren't paying. You understand that reach is important, and that the more free subscribers you have who are seeing real value, the more paid subscribers you'll eventually get as well.
The first thing I did after I cancelled my subscription to the Pist (after the Anne Telnaes debacle), I became a paid subscriber. Please don't lose any sleep over this. I'm sure we all support your decision.
My husband, who has a full beard, used to be routinely mistaken for a local rabbi (who also has a full beard). My husband is not Jewish, but he is convinced that all men with full beards look alike.
I voted no, as the actual resemblance appears mostly superficial. I sympathize. When I was younger, 30s, I was afflicted with Random Celebrity Resemblance Disorder, and was routinely told I looked EXACTLY like George Harrison, Jim Croce, basically anyone famous with dark hair and a moustache. Interestingly, at 35 I stopped cutting my hair, which cured me of the syndrome. Now, at 60, the only celebrity I resemble is Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons.
The real chicken guy says he has to get more colonoscopies from all the body scans. I was imagining the look of somebody with that mindset finally realizing there wasn’t a point.
Gene, I concur that the publication of the Milbank column is encouraging, something like a lone, beleaguered crocus struggling to push up through snow and ice. But did you read today's editorial? It starts well enough, chastising the Trump regime for shaking down Ukraine for its minerals. But then it shifts gears to what I suspect is Bezos' REAL target:
"In an increasingly unstable world, prudence suggests the United States must do more to build capacity at home to ensure an adequate, stable supply of critical minerals, metals and other materials. Unfortunately, we have not made good progress toward doing so, in large part because environmental interests have stood in the way."
The editorial goes on to bash those damn environmentalists several more times, never once acknowledging that maybe there's a good reason to be cautious about extracting heavy metals.
I predict we're going to see regular WP editorials calling for getting rid of regulations and regulators, with little if any nuance. Sigh.
I assumed that the paean to the high-flow showerhead -- right down to paraphrasing (without attribution) Trump's complaints about trying to get shampoo out of his beautiful hair -- and dissing the regulations that require low-flow plumbing appliances that appeared the other day in the opinion pages of the WaPo was a first effort to run up the flagpole an editorial favoring "personal liberties" and "free markets." It managed to favor both, I suppose, yet was also pretty lame, even for a first effort, IMHO. I was disappointed that The Washington Pist took no note.
Mr. Weingarten! There is no need for you to writhe with guilt. I've been your fan for decades and I can honestly say that I have never read you "for free", nor do I expect to do that now. I found you in the Washington Post and was pretty devastated when you left - wasn't it about some humor-impaired chefs eviscerating you because you dared to dislike Indian food? I paid my Post subscription monthly. I also bought several of your books and the book stores were happy to charge me for them.
Last night I watched Bernie Sanders' town hall (Iowa City?) on YouTube. I had access to this by virtue of paying $161.63 monthly for Dish service. During that event, I learned that 25% of seniors in the U.S. are living (or trying their best to live) on $15,000 or less per year. I'm thinking these folks are some of those who cannot afford to pay for any sort of subscription. What to do? The world's problems sit squarely on all of us (not just you). I don't have the answers. Wish I did.
When someone mistakes you for someone else, no matter how horrifying the information thus conveyed may be, it can't be entirely without reason. (I know this to my detriment.) Sorry, but: while Chicken Man is more grizzled, you share an undeniable je ne sais quoi. You might want to lose the hat (and shirt) if you're not enjoying the doppelgänger effect.
Many years ago I got into an elevator and the other woman in it told me she thought I resembled Rosanne Barr. When I gave her a WTF look, she hurriedly said, "Oh, but I don't LIKE her!"
Man does not live by deathless prose alone. You need merch, like Weingarten's "Tee Shirts of Tee Shirts," each with an image of you wearing a different tee shirt. And don't pooh-pooh reviving "Weingarten's Original Fart in a Can. Now in Artificial Curry (Accept no substitute)." You need specials like BOGAHM ("Buy One Get An Honorable Mention"). You need brand extensions, like "Future Man" (personalized fortunes told in the voice of Maria Ouspenskaya) and maybe videos in a "How I Do It Sleep Aid" series (e.g. watch me fix a clock). Get with it man. Transaction is where it's at. Might even consider offering the mineral rights under Schloss Manteuffel-Weingarten for the right price.
One consideration about “pay to read.” Logins to Substack are blocked at many workplaces. That means those subscribers will not be able to participate in the live feature.
Ahem, many of us in the Metro DC area are not allowed to have our cell phones in the workplace. If you're lucky, you don't have to leave it roasting or freezing in the car and can put it in a cubby in the actual building if there's space available.
Makes it so much fun with multi-factor authentications that require a code sent to a cell phone. Send code, lock workstation, leave suite, run to elevator, get to cubby, write code on phone on piece of paper, run to elevator, re-enter suite, unlock workstation and enter code before time expires.
Speaking of mistaken identity. I'm often mistaken for, "You're uh...(several more excited uh's) right?" Or, "Aren't you uh... (several more excited uh's followed by question mark)." Trying to be helpful, I suggest in short order: Carl Yastrzemski? Boudicca? Mikhail Baryshnikov (in his prime)? All met with a disappointed shake of the head and an increasingly irritated "No!" at which point I smile wanly, apologize and leave.
Regarding your decision to tweak the subscription model: As an experienced marketer, I approve.
I suspect that you might find this more distressing than comforting, given that you probably don't hold marketers in high regard.
Fair enough.
But I consider subscription marketing to be a specialty, and in my professional opinion, you're a natural.
The "freemiun" model, in which the majority of subscribers never pay a cent but get limited access, is often the best formula for growth, revenue, and overall reach.
But most creators get it wrong.
They consider their content too precious.
Either they don't value the free subscribers enough, and resist giving them anything of real value, or they operate in fear of losing them and hesitate to remind people to "upgrade," and resist putting too much behind a paywall.
I think you're nailing that balance. You keep the reminders to pay constant and relentless but fresh and funny, and you've made them integral to the experience of being a subscriber. Yet you clearly value those who aren't paying. You understand that reach is important, and that the more free subscribers you have who are seeing real value, the more paid subscribers you'll eventually get as well.
No notes.
“…It refers back to a prior Gene Pool column…”
“Refers back”? What would Mister Language Person say?
A tautology.
It is what it is.
I hate that saying, but this may be the first appropriate use of it I've seen.
It is what it was?
Was it?
The first thing I did after I cancelled my subscription to the Pist (after the Anne Telnaes debacle), I became a paid subscriber. Please don't lose any sleep over this. I'm sure we all support your decision.
It depends on whether the chicken man is Jewish since, you know, all Jews look alike.
My husband, who has a full beard, used to be routinely mistaken for a local rabbi (who also has a full beard). My husband is not Jewish, but he is convinced that all men with full beards look alike.
I voted no, as the actual resemblance appears mostly superficial. I sympathize. When I was younger, 30s, I was afflicted with Random Celebrity Resemblance Disorder, and was routinely told I looked EXACTLY like George Harrison, Jim Croce, basically anyone famous with dark hair and a moustache. Interestingly, at 35 I stopped cutting my hair, which cured me of the syndrome. Now, at 60, the only celebrity I resemble is Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons.
You and the chicken man resemble each other in one definitive way: you both could have appeared as bandits in “The Treasure of the Sierra Madre."
"Bar codes? We don't need no stinking bar codes!"
You look nothing like the chicken guy. You do, in that photo, look like somebody who just found out they’re scheduled for an unnecessary colonoscopy.
Or getting an unnecessary colonoscopy in real time.
The real chicken guy says he has to get more colonoscopies from all the body scans. I was imagining the look of somebody with that mindset finally realizing there wasn’t a point.
Gene, I concur that the publication of the Milbank column is encouraging, something like a lone, beleaguered crocus struggling to push up through snow and ice. But did you read today's editorial? It starts well enough, chastising the Trump regime for shaking down Ukraine for its minerals. But then it shifts gears to what I suspect is Bezos' REAL target:
"In an increasingly unstable world, prudence suggests the United States must do more to build capacity at home to ensure an adequate, stable supply of critical minerals, metals and other materials. Unfortunately, we have not made good progress toward doing so, in large part because environmental interests have stood in the way."
The editorial goes on to bash those damn environmentalists several more times, never once acknowledging that maybe there's a good reason to be cautious about extracting heavy metals.
I predict we're going to see regular WP editorials calling for getting rid of regulations and regulators, with little if any nuance. Sigh.
I assumed that the paean to the high-flow showerhead -- right down to paraphrasing (without attribution) Trump's complaints about trying to get shampoo out of his beautiful hair -- and dissing the regulations that require low-flow plumbing appliances that appeared the other day in the opinion pages of the WaPo was a first effort to run up the flagpole an editorial favoring "personal liberties" and "free markets." It managed to favor both, I suppose, yet was also pretty lame, even for a first effort, IMHO. I was disappointed that The Washington Pist took no note.
Mr. Weingarten! There is no need for you to writhe with guilt. I've been your fan for decades and I can honestly say that I have never read you "for free", nor do I expect to do that now. I found you in the Washington Post and was pretty devastated when you left - wasn't it about some humor-impaired chefs eviscerating you because you dared to dislike Indian food? I paid my Post subscription monthly. I also bought several of your books and the book stores were happy to charge me for them.
Last night I watched Bernie Sanders' town hall (Iowa City?) on YouTube. I had access to this by virtue of paying $161.63 monthly for Dish service. During that event, I learned that 25% of seniors in the U.S. are living (or trying their best to live) on $15,000 or less per year. I'm thinking these folks are some of those who cannot afford to pay for any sort of subscription. What to do? The world's problems sit squarely on all of us (not just you). I don't have the answers. Wish I did.
When someone mistakes you for someone else, no matter how horrifying the information thus conveyed may be, it can't be entirely without reason. (I know this to my detriment.) Sorry, but: while Chicken Man is more grizzled, you share an undeniable je ne sais quoi. You might want to lose the hat (and shirt) if you're not enjoying the doppelgänger effect.
In 1970 a guy approached me in a Georgetown bar and asked if I was John Lennon’s brother.
I am a woman.
What a lousy pick-up line!
Many years ago I got into an elevator and the other woman in it told me she thought I resembled Rosanne Barr. When I gave her a WTF look, she hurriedly said, "Oh, but I don't LIKE her!"
We continued in silence to the ground floor.
Man does not live by deathless prose alone. You need merch, like Weingarten's "Tee Shirts of Tee Shirts," each with an image of you wearing a different tee shirt. And don't pooh-pooh reviving "Weingarten's Original Fart in a Can. Now in Artificial Curry (Accept no substitute)." You need specials like BOGAHM ("Buy One Get An Honorable Mention"). You need brand extensions, like "Future Man" (personalized fortunes told in the voice of Maria Ouspenskaya) and maybe videos in a "How I Do It Sleep Aid" series (e.g. watch me fix a clock). Get with it man. Transaction is where it's at. Might even consider offering the mineral rights under Schloss Manteuffel-Weingarten for the right price.
Agreed, you need merch. Start with a "Washington Pist" shirt (with this substack's URL underneath). See how it goes.
Brilliant!
One consideration about “pay to read.” Logins to Substack are blocked at many workplaces. That means those subscribers will not be able to participate in the live feature.
So get another job. What's important here?
I may have to soon. People are talking massive RIFs and contract cancelations.
Not funny at all.
Learned something new. It’s not a Reduction In Force; it’s an Adjustment In Force or AIF.
Not even on your cell phone?
Ahem, many of us in the Metro DC area are not allowed to have our cell phones in the workplace. If you're lucky, you don't have to leave it roasting or freezing in the car and can put it in a cubby in the actual building if there's space available.
Makes it so much fun with multi-factor authentications that require a code sent to a cell phone. Send code, lock workstation, leave suite, run to elevator, get to cubby, write code on phone on piece of paper, run to elevator, re-enter suite, unlock workstation and enter code before time expires.
Jeff, are you telling us that you can have access outside of SIPRNet in a SCIF?
If scanning barcodes was dangerous, any cat that has played with a laser pointer would be dead now. So no not a problem.
Speaking of mistaken identity. I'm often mistaken for, "You're uh...(several more excited uh's) right?" Or, "Aren't you uh... (several more excited uh's followed by question mark)." Trying to be helpful, I suggest in short order: Carl Yastrzemski? Boudicca? Mikhail Baryshnikov (in his prime)? All met with a disappointed shake of the head and an increasingly irritated "No!" at which point I smile wanly, apologize and leave.
Fiiiiine. You shamed me into paying. Well-played.