14 Comments
Nov 7, 2023·edited Nov 7, 2023

My story is a bit outside the parameters requested, but since it was a minor win over absurdity, I will recount it here. In the early days of my singing career. I had a request to do a show at a rather prestigious corporate performance space which I didn’t want to do. I quoted an absurdly high fee and was surprised when the booking agent for the venue approved the amount and confirmed the show.

I arrived at the theatre a month later and was told that before I could enter the space, I needed to to sign a statement saying I had read the rule book and would abide by the company’s policies. I told the theatre manager that I was not an employee but a contractor hired to put on a concert and had never been given a rule book. I was told I would not be allowed to perform unless I signed the statement saying I had read the rulebook and would abide by the rules. I asked for a copy of the rule book which was about 200 pages long. One of the first rules was that no one hired by the company could have facial hair. I had a full beard at the time.

So I asked for a pen and added a few choice words to the legal forms I was required to sign, changing the wording to "has NOT read the rulebook” and "will NOT follow all rules and policies.” My signature on the form was obviously all that was needed to enter and present my show.

Before you tell me I won, I entered the hall and began to get ready for the concert…when the theatre manager informed me that I was not going to perform on the beautifully elaborate stage with the plush velvet curtains and wonderful lighting, but had in fact been hired to perform for the patrons who were entering the theatre as they went by in line. Since my songs are largely narrative, it didn't make sense to sing those as people walked by and would only hear a line or two....so I did my ten minute set--how long does it take for someone to enter a theatre--as an instrumentalist, took my check, and drove home.

Expand full comment
Nov 7, 2023·edited Nov 7, 2023

Hi, Barry! You performed at my school (won't say how long ago!). My friends and I loved your set!

Expand full comment
founding

Observatory. It's staring us right in the face: Mike Johnson (not his real name) is an alien. He apparently landed in Louisiana and assumed all that stuff he's learned there ever since will allow him to pass as an American earthling. Another thing. That Fig Bistro in Cville at which Dear Leader looked forward to dining is identified as "Women-Owned." Have to say I was (naively ?) surprised to see that designation in this day and age. But a bit of research led me to the knowledge that it is, in fact, an official designation used by government agencies and industry groups for special programs to encourage female business ownership and actual day-to-day management of an owned-business, in particular. The "Fig" also calls itself "vegetarian friendly." What exactly does that mean ? You identify yourself as a vegetarian, you're given a hug and then offered a salad ? I probably need to get out more.

Expand full comment
founding

Bill Maher refers to 46 as Ruth Bader Biden because he’s convinced Biden hanging around will result in a similar calamitous outcome as RBG refusing to retire while Obama could nominate her successor. If Biden loses to Trump next year, will that diminish his standing in historical presidential polls? I thought he had a great first 100 days, horrific second 200 days ( Afghanistan, inflation) and has never recovered in the public’s eye. He looks old, he talks old and he just seems so “ handled.” He was born before Obama’s mother. He’s closer in age to Jimmy Carter than Obama, who has been an ex-president for 7 years. If he was a “great” or “ near great” President, he should resign, stick around as Harris’s senior advisor and let her run as the first woman President incumbent. IMHO, she wins handily. BICBW.

Expand full comment

I don't get those saying "he seems "handled"" as a detriment.

My favorite is the online complaint of "Obama tells him what to do." Hell, yeah! Obama was great, if Biden is "Obama by proxy," I am all for it. Funny how all the accounts wailing about it seem to have had a particular issue with Obama, more so than any other Democrat.

But as for being "handled" in general, maybe it is one more thing Trump broke in my thought process, but I find it reassuring that Biden is open to the consul of those around him! I don't live in fear that he might wake up one morning, draw a new border in Europe with a sharpie, and nuke a random island just to prove no one else controls him.

Expand full comment

"counsel"

Expand full comment

I’m in Conshy, we could be friends. :)

Expand full comment

Gene, re: 63,72, or 89: Leonard Cohen said that the male phases of aging were 1) handsome 2) invisible, 3) hideous, then 4) cute. And that’s where Cohen was. I guess you could be any one of these. :)

Expand full comment

Not much of a less combative mascot than the Quakers of Penn. Guy with a Bible.

Expand full comment

I won't remember, sadly, but: could you update us on the Michael Penix situation when the season is over? Inquiring minds will want to know, if they don't remember . . .

Expand full comment

Are you sure the Paris Post Office anecdote isn’t really a Monty Python sketch?

Expand full comment

Streakers. In Philly (and other places) there is an actually official Naked Bike Ride, meant to symbolize that the body itself is not “dirty.” They gather for an hour, do body paint, ride with certain articles of near-clothing etc. I looked it up. 15 miles. Beginners might have a problem with THAT much exposure.

Expand full comment

Who wants to ride around naked with a bike seat crammed up their ass??

Expand full comment

Exactly!

Expand full comment