Riddled With Bullets
Hello. This is going to be an unusual Gene Pool. You haven’t seen one like it before. You might hate it, in which case I would welcome your robust expressions of contempt in Comments, or, if you are not yet a paid subscriber, in Questions and Observations.
The other day I impulse-bought a book. It was titled “Awesome Riddles and Trick Questions for Kids ages 9-12.” It’s a pretty dreadful book, mostly trafficking in 1) riddles that are too easy; 2) riddles that are too cliched; 3) riddles that are unfair; and, 4) Riddles that are just plain incorrect.
But it is my theory that many otherwise unexceptional pieces of writing have some hidden values, if you are the sort of person with the patience to wade through tons of offal in order to deliver the occasional tasty oyster to the people one loves and respects, such as the readers of The Gene Pool. One of the best stories I ever wrote was the time I decided to read a dozen old Hardy Boys books by the pseudonymous “Franklin W. Dixon” in search of a few sentences or clauses containing actual good writing. I succeeded, eventually. (You don’t need to read it now; it’s long.)
So I just did that with “Awesome Riddles.” And I found, lurking in that chaos of corny conundrums, a few that appear to have been written by someone with a fine sense of mischief and a bit of noir surrealism. Scroll down and try them. I believe all of them are fair, though tricky.
I have slightly changed the wording of some for better exposition and clarity.
The answers will be at the bottom of this column, but PLEASE do not look at any of the answers until you have tried to solve all 13 riddles. There are valid reasons to ask this. Okay?
Okay.
(Riddle 1) Imagine that you are in the middle of an ocean. There is no land nearby and your boat has a gaping hole in the bottom. Water is quickly entering and there are sharks all around you. There is nothing to plug the hole. What do you do?
(Riddle 2) Can you name three days that always come right in a row? You cannot use any day of the week.
(Riddle 3) Adam and Jack had a nice dinner on Wednesday. When the bill arrived, it was paid in full. Neither Adam nor Jack paid the bill. Who did?
(Riddle 4) How many times can you subtract the number 5 from the number 100 before you hit zero?
(Riddle 5) A conscientious bus driver was going down a one-way street the wrong way. He took a right turn when no right turn was allowed. Then he actually went into a building and came out the other side intact. What the heck accounts for this?
(Riddle 6) A cat walked steadily for five hours. At the end, two of its legs had covered 5 kilometers, and two of its legs had covered 5.5 kilometers. How is this possible?
(Riddle 7) A man goes to a pet store and sees a giant Macaw for sale. The salesman says the bird will instantly repeat any word it hears. The man buys the bird and takes it home, but the parrot does not repeat a single word the man speaks. Assuming the proprietor was not lying, how is this possible?
(Riddle 8) A family of five lives on the 10th floor of a building. Every day, when the youngest son, Ezekiel, has to go to school, he takes the building’s elevator to the lobby. But when Ezekiel returns from school, he only takes the elevator to the sixth floor, then takes the stairs for the remaining four. Why?
(Riddle 9) Why are 1995 dimes worth less than 2024 dimes?
(Riddle 10) Sarah is a strong young woman. She throws a tennis ball as hard as she can, but, after traveling a certain distance, it returns to her. No one else touched it. How did this happen?
(Riddle 11) How is it possible to add 2 to 11 and get 1 for an answer?
(Riddle 12) Two people were born at the same moment, however they don’t share the same birthday. Why?
(Riddle 13) When is 90 more than 100?
Okay, so. That’s the end of the Riddles. I am hoping that you will follow my advice and not look at the answers, below, until you have tried to solve all 13 riddles above. I am printing this large so you will see it and heed. I am like John Hancock.
Okay here are the answers.
But first, some em dashes.
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Answers:
(Riddle 1) Stop imagining.
(Riddle 2) Yesterday, today, and tomorrow.
(Riddle 3) Their friend Wednesday paid the bill, of course.
(Riddle 4) Only once. After that you are subtracting from 95, 90, etc.
(Riddle 5) The bus driver was walking.
(Riddle 6) The cat was walking in a circle. The legs on the perimeter of the circle would cover more distance that the legs inside the circle.
(Riddle 7) The bird was deaf.
(Riddle 8) Ezekiel is too short to hit the higher buttons on the elevator.
(Riddle 9) Because those numbers are not dates, they are quantities.
(Riddle 10) Sarah threw it straight up in the air.
(Riddle 11) It’s true if you are looking at a clock. Eleven o’clock plus two hours is one o’clock.
(Riddle 12) They were born in different places, on opposite sides of the International Date Line.
(Riddle 13) When you are entering numbers into a microwave. (This was not in the book. Rachel made it up.)
First Gene Poll Gene Poll:
Second Gene Pool Gene Poll:
Okay, we’re done! All that’s left is begging for more paying subscribers.
Hey unpaying subscribers. We are waaay cheaper than The Washington Post and we are still expanding, not shriveling into a scrofulous bolus of our own toxic plans.
Isn’t that good for something?
Riddle 10 has another answer: She threw the ball at a wall.
what's wrong with Christmas eve, Christmas day and boxing day