Welcome to the Weekend Gene Pool, considered a shoo-in for the 2024 National Medal of Technology and Innovation, awarded yearly by the President of the United States to American inventors who have made significant contributions to the development of new and important technology — in this case, internet-facilitated creative crowdsourced modern Substackery combining capacitative touch technology, interdependent tactile functionality, and snark.
That sounds like my GPS -- it's built into my 2020 Nissan Rogue, which I love because it doesn't require that you have an I-phone (I don't have an I-phone). The instant I punch in a destination, she immediately tells me to "turn left after 2 1/2 miles onto Rte. 4."
Also, even when I haven't activated the GPS, my car will suddenly pipe up with something like, "Caution: high winds in 40 miles." 40 miles which way? How do you know where I'm going (it's usually 6 miles to the grocery store)? And what am I supposed to do about high winds anyway?
I enjoy messing with Waze. Before I go anywhere I will look at an actual map and determine how I want to get somewhere, which to me means the fewest turns, sub-roads, and cutting through neighborhoods. Then while driving, I follow my route and listen to Waze frantically trying to re-route based on how I go. "Turn left! Turn left! Turn LEFT! ..... Make a U-Turn!"
I prefer Waze to Google Maps, but they both run on Waze data (Google bought Waze many years ago). Anyway... don't assume you were wronged. Had you stayed on the original route, it might have been worse.
To be sure, navigating packed city streets is the scenario where route times can change rapidly, so route changes that say they'll save just a couple of minutes may not turn out to be accurate; but it's more likely than not there was a major obstruction on the original route.
I'm reminded of thee time I was driving on a major highway and Waze told me to get off and move to a rural route to save time. I obliged, but the time to destination actually kept increasing. I was increasingly annoyed as I drove through little backwaters with 30mph speed limits and watched the time increase, then finally was directed back to the highway. As I entered from the on ramp, I looked over my shoulder to see that I had been deposited 50 yards past a major accident that had completely blocked all lanes.
C'mon, Gene. You've lived in DC for how many years, and don't know the in-town streets and how to get out of town? At least your GPS has a directional thingy that would tell you which way west is! One of the major roads (Independence Ave., I think) dumps you right onto a bridge that feeds into I-66.
It's Constitution Avenue. Constitution Avenue feeds the Roosevelt Bridge, which feeds I-66. Independence Avenue intersects 14th St, which feeds I-395. Yes, you can get to I-66 from Independence Avenue if you take I-395 across the Potomac, then take the exit onto Virginia 110 by the Pentagon.
Thanks, I haven't lived in the Metro DC area for a dozen years, and there were even more years before that when I worked in McLean (not downtown). If I were driving around there, I'd figure it out. Knew it was Independence or Constitution. Thanks from an ex-pat.
MY problem with Waze is that when you hit a major road block, EVERYONE turns to Waze and the path around, which is usually through much smaller streets, becomes clogged with EVERBODY trying to take the shortcut.
Waze is evil. People race through my neighborhood now, only to cause a backup where the app tells them to turn left onto a heavily traveled road. Everyone who lives in the neighborhood knows that you only go that way to turn right to get to the local stores. A simple errand takes twice as long because someone thinks they’ll shave a minute off their commute.
Ah, Waze. I was riding with my older sister from East Tennessee to Northern Virginia, and she had Waze on. The voice kept nattering about incidents and police presence ahead (they were always nonexistent by the time we reached the advertised point). It was relentless. I asked, "Are we going to have to listen to that for 500 miles?" She replied, "I keep it on to know where the cops are." I said, "Maybe don't speed, or use your cruise control." She didn't know how to use her cruise control, and had no interest in finding out. She did shut it off, though.
I am surprised by the Waze love from otherwise techno curmudgeons. It seems to me that it's everything terrible that "modern" tech can bring--so cluttered and why do I care if I have friends on the road? And no, you may not know who I am--with no more worth than is provided by less intrusive apps
You can use it without "signing in" which is what I do. It's still spying on me but there are fewer of those annoying notifications. And I DEFINITELY don't give it access to any of contact lists.
On Waze, here's how to turn off the little cars: in the upper left hand corner are three horizontal lines (AKA the "Hamburger"). Select it, then on the next screen, select "Settings". Choose "Map Display", then on the next screen, turn off "Show Wazers".
On Waze, here's how to turn off the suggestions: in the upper left hand corner are three horizontal lines (AKA the "Hamburger"). Select it, then on the next screen, select "Settings". Next, select "General", then on the next screen, turn off "Allow app suggestions".
Our nearest airport is Roanoke. Once when driving there, we were instructed to turn left on "Airport Dr.," which the GPS voice rendered as "Airport Doctor."
Considering the inexorable use of AI in all things, one way or another, I think we can expect future satnav devices to come with more familiar and thus scornful voices, like mothers and siblings. So, in addition to "In 100 feet, turn right," we're likely to get: "Still Mr. Bigshot, huh ? A map not good enough for you ? You never listened and you still don't. I said turn right, Mr. Bigshot."
My GPS periodically lets me know that I will face traffic in 24,901 miles. It assumes, I guess, that I am circumnavigating the planet to reach my destination.
I answered “Mostly Fine”; however, what I have told every Administrative Assistant or Office Manager since our first leap from typewriters to computers, “The reason they call it Windows, is that is what you want to throw it out of.”
Using Google Maps abroad is both a Godsend and potential disaster. Once in Costa Rica we encountered a bridge that was uncrossable. But Maps would not reroute me without directing me back to that spot. I just had to backtrack best I could until I could get a new route that worked. Anyway, I chose hate on account of how worthless AI has made search engines. I can’t look up any but the most basic information anymore because the search engines assume I want the most popular answers to questions related to a couple of the words I entered, and just discards search terms I put in to narrow things.
I had sent a long post a while ago, which did not make it into the chat, probably because it was too long. It involved a GPS with a new radio I installed. I was returning home from a somewhat unfamiliar place and once I knew how to get home I could not figure out how to turn it off. Just before the right turn into our neighborhood, we decided to go to dinner, to the left. After about the fourth time of the GPS to tell us to turn right at the next intersection, it sounded down right pissy. After dinner, we got back in the car in the parking lot and the first thing we heard was, "TURN right."
I love WAZE. We got a briefing on it when we went to Google's "take your parents to work day" in Cambridge, MA, a few years ago. You can change the voice to a guy with a British accent, who sounds way more like he knows what he's talking about than any of those ladies. It's also fun to hear him direct you to the "E-ZED pass lane."
Mine (Google Maps) says "half a mile," which is worse. It's an unacceptable shortening. The only time it is okay is in Tennyson's Charge of the Light Brigade's "Half a league, half a league, half a league onward..." The only correct formulation is "in a half mile."
TomTom gives you the option of having Snoop Dog give you directions. Waze used to have Mr. T give directions. I don't know if it still does. And Alexa lets Samuel L Jackson reply to your commands, in either G-rated or X-rated language. Why someone would opt to hear Samuel L Jackson in G-rated language is a beyond me.
Probably being worked on as I write this --- kind of an "Our Town" "Lake Wobegon"-meets-AI running commentary app for your GPS. Sure weather and traffic conditions are useful but I'm thinking more along the lines of entertaining (and preferably salacious), to help while away those miles.
"That'll be the Schoenwalder's place on your right. Young Jamie Schoenwalder keeps playing the original cast recording of "A Chorus Line" and Carl and Phyllida are getting worried. Hey, better hurry. Looks like ol' Walter Petty and his '53 Fordson are about to get on ahead. Goes maybe 15 mph if ol' Walter floors it. Babys that tractor ol' Walter does. More than a few 'round here whisper he probably should have spent more time tinkering with Clarissa than that machine. Run off with the Monsanto seed rep a while back. Great shrimp 'n grits place about a mile on the right. Marla there gives as good as she gets. A ten-spot goes a long way." (Before asking to see the manager, please note the preceding has been classified as a Level 2 Satire on the Austen/Swift Scale by the American Society for the Obvious).
As I started to write a comment a pop up for a color wheel came up but I digress. After leaving my comment I see now from the poll that most of your readers are of a younger generation. I would have put the hate answer but it's more than hate which I find fits in the number three answer.
I agree! I picked the "hate" answer despite #3's being also relevant, because I do hate it and it does seem to hate me too. I just submitted a curmudgeon-rant via the Magic Orange Button.
I think that a lot of the readers are no longer in the first blush of youth, but technology evangelism is not confined to the young.
Okay, okay. We got the renewal notice with that unwelcome enclosure. We will renew, I promise, only please, please return Fluffy. We'll love her just as much with only the one ear.
Google Maps is wonderful. With Google Street Views I can "drive" to many places that i can not really drive to at my age. However, when we first came out to Mill Island in Frederick, our street views were wonderful. Then about four years ago they vanished. And Google will not fix it or even tell me why. (I complain and they ignore me) I can only surmise we are like the White House and the Pentagon - off limits to prying eyes. In Frederick? I know. "Podunk City."
Felllow Fredericktonian here and I had to look up Mill Island, lol. I get truly wretched cell reception when I'm volunteering at Fountain Rock, just across the way from you, so there is SOME kind of nonsense happening there.
I drive a 1988 Alfa Romeo which does not have GPS, so I use a plug-in Magellan. My favorite direction given was, "Make a U-turn in 90 miles."
That sounds like my GPS -- it's built into my 2020 Nissan Rogue, which I love because it doesn't require that you have an I-phone (I don't have an I-phone). The instant I punch in a destination, she immediately tells me to "turn left after 2 1/2 miles onto Rte. 4."
Also, even when I haven't activated the GPS, my car will suddenly pipe up with something like, "Caution: high winds in 40 miles." 40 miles which way? How do you know where I'm going (it's usually 6 miles to the grocery store)? And what am I supposed to do about high winds anyway?
Sounds like the GPS is living up to your Nissan model's name--Rogue. If you had gotten a Pathfinder instead.....
NOW you tell me!
I enjoy messing with Waze. Before I go anywhere I will look at an actual map and determine how I want to get somewhere, which to me means the fewest turns, sub-roads, and cutting through neighborhoods. Then while driving, I follow my route and listen to Waze frantically trying to re-route based on how I go. "Turn left! Turn left! Turn LEFT! ..... Make a U-Turn!"
When Waze does that to me, I yell "shut up!"
I yell something similar, but I usually insert two words between "shut" and "up".
My method as well.
I prefer Waze to Google Maps, but they both run on Waze data (Google bought Waze many years ago). Anyway... don't assume you were wronged. Had you stayed on the original route, it might have been worse.
To be sure, navigating packed city streets is the scenario where route times can change rapidly, so route changes that say they'll save just a couple of minutes may not turn out to be accurate; but it's more likely than not there was a major obstruction on the original route.
I'm reminded of thee time I was driving on a major highway and Waze told me to get off and move to a rural route to save time. I obliged, but the time to destination actually kept increasing. I was increasingly annoyed as I drove through little backwaters with 30mph speed limits and watched the time increase, then finally was directed back to the highway. As I entered from the on ramp, I looked over my shoulder to see that I had been deposited 50 yards past a major accident that had completely blocked all lanes.
I hear you, but there HAD to be a better alternate route.
C'mon, Gene. You've lived in DC for how many years, and don't know the in-town streets and how to get out of town? At least your GPS has a directional thingy that would tell you which way west is! One of the major roads (Independence Ave., I think) dumps you right onto a bridge that feeds into I-66.
I know, I know. But one tends to believe the GPS knows things you don't.
Which makes it awful and us moronic.
It's Constitution Avenue. Constitution Avenue feeds the Roosevelt Bridge, which feeds I-66. Independence Avenue intersects 14th St, which feeds I-395. Yes, you can get to I-66 from Independence Avenue if you take I-395 across the Potomac, then take the exit onto Virginia 110 by the Pentagon.
But I digress...
Thanks, I haven't lived in the Metro DC area for a dozen years, and there were even more years before that when I worked in McLean (not downtown). If I were driving around there, I'd figure it out. Knew it was Independence or Constitution. Thanks from an ex-pat.
MY problem with Waze is that when you hit a major road block, EVERYONE turns to Waze and the path around, which is usually through much smaller streets, becomes clogged with EVERBODY trying to take the shortcut.
Waze is evil. People race through my neighborhood now, only to cause a backup where the app tells them to turn left onto a heavily traveled road. Everyone who lives in the neighborhood knows that you only go that way to turn right to get to the local stores. A simple errand takes twice as long because someone thinks they’ll shave a minute off their commute.
So true. We found this out when we drove to Tennessee to see the last total solar eclipse.
Ah, Waze. I was riding with my older sister from East Tennessee to Northern Virginia, and she had Waze on. The voice kept nattering about incidents and police presence ahead (they were always nonexistent by the time we reached the advertised point). It was relentless. I asked, "Are we going to have to listen to that for 500 miles?" She replied, "I keep it on to know where the cops are." I said, "Maybe don't speed, or use your cruise control." She didn't know how to use her cruise control, and had no interest in finding out. She did shut it off, though.
I am surprised by the Waze love from otherwise techno curmudgeons. It seems to me that it's everything terrible that "modern" tech can bring--so cluttered and why do I care if I have friends on the road? And no, you may not know who I am--with no more worth than is provided by less intrusive apps
I regret that I have but one "like" to give for your comment.
You can use it without "signing in" which is what I do. It's still spying on me but there are fewer of those annoying notifications. And I DEFINITELY don't give it access to any of contact lists.
Oh I definitely don’t sign in, it’s still just so busy with all the little cars and suggestions that I go to Dunkin’
On Waze, here's how to turn off the little cars: in the upper left hand corner are three horizontal lines (AKA the "Hamburger"). Select it, then on the next screen, select "Settings". Choose "Map Display", then on the next screen, turn off "Show Wazers".
Wazers? Wankers? What's the difference?
On Waze, here's how to turn off the suggestions: in the upper left hand corner are three horizontal lines (AKA the "Hamburger"). Select it, then on the next screen, select "Settings". Next, select "General", then on the next screen, turn off "Allow app suggestions".
Our nearest airport is Roanoke. Once when driving there, we were instructed to turn left on "Airport Dr.," which the GPS voice rendered as "Airport Doctor."
Considering the inexorable use of AI in all things, one way or another, I think we can expect future satnav devices to come with more familiar and thus scornful voices, like mothers and siblings. So, in addition to "In 100 feet, turn right," we're likely to get: "Still Mr. Bigshot, huh ? A map not good enough for you ? You never listened and you still don't. I said turn right, Mr. Bigshot."
My GPS periodically lets me know that I will face traffic in 24,901 miles. It assumes, I guess, that I am circumnavigating the planet to reach my destination.
I answered “Mostly Fine”; however, what I have told every Administrative Assistant or Office Manager since our first leap from typewriters to computers, “The reason they call it Windows, is that is what you want to throw it out of.”
Using Google Maps abroad is both a Godsend and potential disaster. Once in Costa Rica we encountered a bridge that was uncrossable. But Maps would not reroute me without directing me back to that spot. I just had to backtrack best I could until I could get a new route that worked. Anyway, I chose hate on account of how worthless AI has made search engines. I can’t look up any but the most basic information anymore because the search engines assume I want the most popular answers to questions related to a couple of the words I entered, and just discards search terms I put in to narrow things.
I had sent a long post a while ago, which did not make it into the chat, probably because it was too long. It involved a GPS with a new radio I installed. I was returning home from a somewhat unfamiliar place and once I knew how to get home I could not figure out how to turn it off. Just before the right turn into our neighborhood, we decided to go to dinner, to the left. After about the fourth time of the GPS to tell us to turn right at the next intersection, it sounded down right pissy. After dinner, we got back in the car in the parking lot and the first thing we heard was, "TURN right."
I love WAZE. We got a briefing on it when we went to Google's "take your parents to work day" in Cambridge, MA, a few years ago. You can change the voice to a guy with a British accent, who sounds way more like he knows what he's talking about than any of those ladies. It's also fun to hear him direct you to the "E-ZED pass lane."
Yeah, obviously the lady-robots are less knowledgeable-sounding. Uh-huh!
The woman I listened to kept saying, "In half of a mile, turn . . ." Nobody says half of a mile. Didn't anybody know colloquial American?
Mine (Google Maps) says "half a mile," which is worse. It's an unacceptable shortening. The only time it is okay is in Tennyson's Charge of the Light Brigade's "Half a league, half a league, half a league onward..." The only correct formulation is "in a half mile."
In BrE, "half a mile" is in common usage (as is "quarter of a mile" etc.). Another example of two countries separated by a common language.
What is half a mile in colloquial American?
If it had been the British guy I'm sure it would have been more authoritative.
TomTom gives you the option of having Snoop Dog give you directions. Waze used to have Mr. T give directions. I don't know if it still does. And Alexa lets Samuel L Jackson reply to your commands, in either G-rated or X-rated language. Why someone would opt to hear Samuel L Jackson in G-rated language is a beyond me.
I prefer the British accent too.
Probably being worked on as I write this --- kind of an "Our Town" "Lake Wobegon"-meets-AI running commentary app for your GPS. Sure weather and traffic conditions are useful but I'm thinking more along the lines of entertaining (and preferably salacious), to help while away those miles.
"That'll be the Schoenwalder's place on your right. Young Jamie Schoenwalder keeps playing the original cast recording of "A Chorus Line" and Carl and Phyllida are getting worried. Hey, better hurry. Looks like ol' Walter Petty and his '53 Fordson are about to get on ahead. Goes maybe 15 mph if ol' Walter floors it. Babys that tractor ol' Walter does. More than a few 'round here whisper he probably should have spent more time tinkering with Clarissa than that machine. Run off with the Monsanto seed rep a while back. Great shrimp 'n grits place about a mile on the right. Marla there gives as good as she gets. A ten-spot goes a long way." (Before asking to see the manager, please note the preceding has been classified as a Level 2 Satire on the Austen/Swift Scale by the American Society for the Obvious).
Is the gang once known as "Republicans" now the gang that can not take YES! for an answer?
As I started to write a comment a pop up for a color wheel came up but I digress. After leaving my comment I see now from the poll that most of your readers are of a younger generation. I would have put the hate answer but it's more than hate which I find fits in the number three answer.
I agree! I picked the "hate" answer despite #3's being also relevant, because I do hate it and it does seem to hate me too. I just submitted a curmudgeon-rant via the Magic Orange Button.
I think that a lot of the readers are no longer in the first blush of youth, but technology evangelism is not confined to the young.
Okay, okay. We got the renewal notice with that unwelcome enclosure. We will renew, I promise, only please, please return Fluffy. We'll love her just as much with only the one ear.
I totally forget what the renewal notice says. But your dog is safe. FOR A YEAR.
Maybe you can rename Fluffy to Van Gogh.
Fluffy Van Gogh is an excellent name for a one-eared dog.
So Google is not always your friend, I gather. You do know back at HQ, they were having a laugh. "Got another one, Momus !"
Google Maps is wonderful. With Google Street Views I can "drive" to many places that i can not really drive to at my age. However, when we first came out to Mill Island in Frederick, our street views were wonderful. Then about four years ago they vanished. And Google will not fix it or even tell me why. (I complain and they ignore me) I can only surmise we are like the White House and the Pentagon - off limits to prying eyes. In Frederick? I know. "Podunk City."
Felllow Fredericktonian here and I had to look up Mill Island, lol. I get truly wretched cell reception when I'm volunteering at Fountain Rock, just across the way from you, so there is SOME kind of nonsense happening there.
Hmmm.