Now Here's a Good Gag

Hello. Welcome to the Weekend Gene Pool, which recently passed its first anniversary as the nation’s most distinguished literary voice. As always, we will ask you to expound on a subject of our choice in return for a promise to entertain you.

What you are looking at, above, is The Butt Station, an elegant desk set consisting of an adhesive tape dispenser/ pen holder with a magnetized single-feed paper-clip dispenser embedded in its keister. It was the prize we are offering to the winner of The Invitational Week 59.

We thought this prize to be a pleasant bit of mild extraterrestrial excretory humor, just our kind, until we began hearing from readers. Two of them postulated that this might be grotesque sadomasochistic porn. Neither was completely serious, but both were passionate about their observations, which were similar.

1. That is not an adorable extraterrestrial. That is a man sweltering and suffocating in a gimp suit.

2. That is not a pen in his mouth. It is some sort of sadistic iron-bar horse-bit jaw restraint.

3. His feet are immobilized, taped together on the floor.

4. His hands are restrained by some sort of medieval “breaking wheel.”

   The hands have already been crushed to a blobby pulp.

5. The toilet is to maximize the humiliation.

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This prize was donated by Kathy Sheeran of Tysons Corner, whom I personally know because she is Rachel’s beloved aunt, a very nice person with a fine sense of humor, a person whose somewhat eccentric hobby is shopping for ironically amusing crap novelties at bargain-basement venues. I see by the price tag that she got this for $3.49, a markdown from $12. Aunt Kathy always brings home the bargain.

My point is that this is not sadomasochistic porn — not intended as such by the manufacturer, certainly not intended as such by the donor. But some people saw it as that. Which is the point of today’s question for discussion. Sometimes, people see things in unexpected ways. It’s a phenomenon called “contradictory observations.” Call it The Idiosyncratic Rashomon Effect.

What have you (or someone you know) seen or experienced that was clearly intended to be innocent but on further review seemed a little less so? This could be a perception from your youth, or even one that lingers now. The funnier the better. Include links or photos if possible.

It’s a tough challenge — I’m taking a chance here — but I know from experience that you are up to it.

Please do not send your nominees to “comments”! Send them to this banal and harmless orange button for answers and observations.

Today’s Gene Pool Gene Poll is unusually meta:

I am going to be traveling to Charlottesville on Tuesday on a medical mission, so the next Gene Pool will be on Monday, not Tuesday. Do you see how dedicated we are at the Gene Pool treehouse headquarters? We never cheap out on the frequent reader just as the frequent reader never cheaps out on us by declining to upgrade to “paid.”