51 Comments
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Justin Stone's avatar

Parallel parking seems to me to be one of those skills you need to practice to stay sharp at. I used to live in a building where the only parking was street parking (on one of the busiest streets in the city), and out of necessity I quickly became a goddamn sorcerer at parallel-parking. But then I moved up to a driveway lifestyle, and later moved to NYC and did away with driving almost altogether, and these days when I try to parallel park in a rental I look like a teenager flunking his driving exam.

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Melissa's avatar

Also I believe the ability to parallel park depends on how many people are around. Too many people, and I'm going to screw it up royally.

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Lynne Larkin's avatar

That's funny - when I drove a VERY large old car, I could draw applause for parallel parking in one swing. I used to wait for a crowd to gather. :)

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Sam Mertens's avatar

But “anally” is six letters!

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JefCon 1's avatar

Beat me to it.

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Gene Weingarten's avatar

Ooh, good point. Can the original poster explain?

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Deborah's avatar

I think they meant Spelling Bee.

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Justin Stone's avatar

Sorry, yes. Spelling Bee, not Wordle. (I'm the original poster)

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Pat Myers's avatar

Because "nappy" is a derogatory term for Black people's hair. He also doesn't use "mammy" or "coon." "Spade" and "spook" wouldn't appear in any case because the letter S never appears in a Spelling Bee "hive."

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Gene Weingarten's avatar

spade and spook were from wordle.

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Justin Stone's avatar

I get it. I just think it's silly. If I submitted a story to the NYT that described having sex anally with someone wearing nappy blue pajamas, I would be surprised by the word they had a problem with.

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Suzanne S Barnhill's avatar

I imagine the writer meant the Spelling Bee rather than Wordle. Same restrictions there. One of my beefs is that "poop" is accepted but not "poopy." I conclude that Sam Ezersky doesn't have kids.

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Hortense of Gotham City's avatar

I am sorry to say this, sort of, but that dead babies/bowling balls joke is not funny. And I'm not easily offended.

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David Shombert's avatar

Thanks so much. I could have gone all day without seeing a picture of Mike Lindell. Really.

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William Pifer-Foote's avatar

Re snoring: My answer of “always” is when not wearing my CPAP. With it, no snoring.

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Dale of Green Gables's avatar

If you think parallel parking into a tight space provides the ultimate in an automotive adrenaline rush, I suggest you haven't experienced the frisson (or rising dread) the first time you let your car do it --- using self-parking or parking assist.

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Dale of Green Gables's avatar

For those of you still pondering the reference to a spare bottom bed sheet in the ninth "Q" in the "Q&A" queue --- why ? The clue lies in the anecdote's general theme of precipitousness and the answer, I strongly suggest (wink, wink), has to do with (select all that apply):

(A) An available parental bed

(B) The inadvertent insemination of the bottom sheet

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Suzanne S Barnhill's avatar

And if it's the girl's first time...

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Dale of Green Gables's avatar

That too.

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Sasquatch's avatar

I imagine that Mike Lindell is frequently in need of a spare pillow cover.

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Lynne Larkin's avatar

For fellow insomniacs, an amazingly effective thing for me has been relaxing my jaw.

https://www.wikihow.com/Relax-Jaw-Muscles-Before-Bed

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Leslie Franson's avatar

kudos for your parallel parking skill, but please don't park in front or behind my car!

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JefCon 1's avatar

Adlai Stevenson expected to win with a rallying cry adapted from The Communist Manifesto?!?

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Roger DALRYMPLE's avatar

Since when is being smart, and/or well informed, a requirement for anything? If you George Santosed every dumb-ass out of politics, what would you have left? Probably two guys who actually passed calculus, and several who actually know how to use toilet paper.

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Sasquatch's avatar

“Congress consists of one-third, more or less, scoundrels; two-thirds, more or less, idiots; and three-thirds, more or less, poltroons.”

-- H. L. Mencken

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Tom Logan's avatar

And when you "drain the swamp" there's nothing left but the muck at the bottom.

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Justin Stone's avatar

Sorry, one more comment: Joseph Schumpeter used to tell people that when he was young, his aspirations were to become the world's greatest horseman, lover, and economist. After sharing this information, he would humbly bow his head to his audience and admit that, alas, he never learned to ride a horse.

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Jon Ketzner's avatar

Thomas Dewey convinced Eisenhower to take Nixon as his VP to appease the “yokels.”

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Justin Stone's avatar

Honestly, if you're a heterosexual man (and particularly if you are of anglo descent), you get points for just getting on the dance floor. Any movement beyond that is extra credit, and if you're able to be at all rhythmic while doing so you're basically showing off at that point.

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StorytellerTimLivengood's avatar

I have an old friend whose father directed the live broadcast of the TV news on one of our local stations. The station was bought out and the new owners decided to replace everyone on the production staff, so friend's dad was out of a job. He applied to the local university's communications department on the theory that he had 40 years of experience in the field, dating from a time long before anyone thought to invent a degree that would pre-certify the competence of people in communications. He was not eligible to teach the class because he did not have a college degree in any subject, much less the one he had been working in for 40 years. He ended his days of gainful employment working as a night watchman, then he died. Possibly due to the his several-pack-a-day habit of unfiltered cigarettes, seeing as it was lung cancer that killed him.

In fairness, the reason the station had been on the market was that it was consistently the #3 station in a 3-station market, so the new owners may have had a point with respect to replacing the production staff.

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Sean Clinchy's avatar

About Haley, anybody who thinks the Republican Party is going to elect a brown woman as president of the United States has not been paying attention. A sizable part of that party is racist and sexist. A part large enough to prevent any women of color from succeeding.

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StorytellerTimLivengood's avatar

All I really want is for the fraction of the party that would vote for her to become so embittered that they absolutely won't vote for Trump. That would be a valuable contribution on her part.

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