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Gene and I hate each other passionately approximately two minutes per day, every day, for various reasons. The other 1,438 minutes we are adorably fond of each other. This has been going on since Gene and I met at The Post in 1990.

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"Next on the list, why do some men think that it is socially acceptable to rip long, loud farts at a public urinal?"

Where else would you suggest as a socially acceptable location to play a "butt trumpet"*?

*If I recall correctly, the Zulu translation of this term is "vuvuzela."

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founding

Well, hello, I made it home in time to have some good laughs while you all are live. I would add to Jesse Frankovich's entry " . . . and/or your father," and a big LOL for Jesse.

Re: "wacky" - I always thought it was related to "whack" as having been whacked in the head too many times. Valuable lessons for only $5 a month.

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KNAVES OF OUR LIVES

FADE IN

INT. OFFICE - DAY

Donnie Orangeman is staring in disbelief at an invoice for "Fraudulent Activities" from the State of New York for $464MM.

ORANGEMAN

(Moaning, head in hands)

"Whatever will I do !?" "What's to become of me !?"

SLOW ZOOM OUT

VOICE OVER

(Organ sneaks in)

"Which despot will come to Donnie Orangeman's rescue ?"

"Will a banker's box with 464 million dollars in mixed foreign currency be found in a bathroom at Mar-a-Lago ?"

"Will a giant sucking sound be heard throughout the tri-state area come Monday as state liens suddenly appear on his properties ?

Tune in next week.

CREDITS

(Organ up and out)

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Both of Jon Ketzner's HMs made me laugh. A Klan rally at a Taylor Swift concert. Genius.

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It looks like I get another week off from the competition. I am not entering the word bank contest and don't see myself entering the chain gang contest, either. I've been historically bad at both and have decided not to put myself (or Gene and Pat) through the torture.

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Real life about anxious moments: missing tail light- we got stopped because the light over the rear license plate was burned out. I didn't even know there was one but the small park between us and the Giant was known for drug sales and I'm sure the baby in the car seat made look like suspicious drug dealers. Luckily nothing on the bumper sticker was about the police. And my husband is lucky the sexy black panty I found buried in the bottom of the sheets on our bed was mine.

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but if we tell you, you;ll call us a troll. Geez.

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I am younger than Gene but I remember the New York Magazine contest. I used to read it avidly, and occasionally submitted an entry on a postcard, but never made the cut.

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>>>Men, going into a public restroom to urinate, will sometimes unbuckle their belts and unfasten >>>the button or snap on their pants as they approach the urinal.

Well, speaking only for myself here, I do that when, as is sometimes the case, my pants have a fly, but my underpants do not, and it is necessary to accommodate.

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