I'm thinking they set it on fire under some nearby highway overpass in the style of the ruthless killers they are and then, on her walk looking for the pool, Rachel hotwired an unassuming Subaru for their getaway. And wearing the cute new red bathing suit as she peeled out of the Comfort Inn, it was a perfect ending to episode 1.
Back in 1924, when my grandmother was pregnant with my mother, the doctor told her to bring her urine to her next appointment. She collected it all, for whatever period of time that was, in glass milk jars. At that next appointment, much to her embarrassment, the doctor informed her that he only needed a little pee.
Once as a teenager the whole family was going on a beach trip which included our dog. I'm the oldest of four, and we were riding in my grandfathers conversion van, adults in the front and the kids and dog in the back. The dog all of the sudden starting pacing back and forth, which was unusual. We knew something was wrong, and all of the sudden the diarrhea poured out. At the time we were ON THE BAY BRIDGE in traffic! There was no stopping, no pulling over, just four kids screaming and running around (it was a different time... seat belts weren't mandatory yet) trying to avoid the poop spray. We still talk about the time Mikey let us have it on the Bay Bridge.
I donated a kidney in 2016, so I've had to do the 24-hr urine collection a few times, pre- and post-donation. Once I even had to use a clean jar to continue the collection because I peed more than the container could hold (I drink a lot of water!). I voted for your heaviest option solely because I remember how heavy the full container was, although in hindsight I realized that although you said "full jug," it might not have been completely full.
Most importantly, though, did you have Lexi checked out by a vet? Explosive diarrhea isn't normal!
My partner (male name redacted) had ACL surgery about 8 years ago and getting up/walking around was a challenge. His pee solution was to take a plastic gallon jug in which he usually made iced tea to avoid having to get up and go to the actual bathroom. Yes, I found it rather gross as I, being magnanimous, would "dump" out the liquid into the toilet so he didn't have to get up from the couch. After recovery, he sent the jug thru the dishwasher a number of times and returned it to the iced tea function. Almost a decade later, and numerous trips thru the dishwasher, I still refuse to partake in any beverage that comes out of that thing.
Gene, This might out do your dog diarrhea in the car story and perhaps on the brain fart, too, though it won’t be as well written. Late one night, many years ago a skunk sprayed my dog in the back yard. Being young and naïve, I stupidly let the poor dog in the house because I was afraid she was seriously hurt since blood was coming out of her mouth. Once inside, she flung her head back and forth trying to rid herself of the foul odor thereby spreading microscopic droplets of skunk odor throughout the house. Even more terrified by her shaking her head so violently, I put her in my VW rabbit convertible to take her to the emergency vet. The vet said she was fine, they were out of anything to remove skunk odor but maybe I should get some tomato juice on my way home. As anyone familiar with the long-lasting effects of skunk oils can imagine, I'm not sure I ever completely ridded the convertible of either the smell of skunk oil or tomato juice.
so when did the car get cleaned? and how? major missing plot point here. and other column is behind wp paywall.
I'm thinking they set it on fire under some nearby highway overpass in the style of the ruthless killers they are and then, on her walk looking for the pool, Rachel hotwired an unassuming Subaru for their getaway. And wearing the cute new red bathing suit as she peeled out of the Comfort Inn, it was a perfect ending to episode 1.
The two points that left me feeling anxious.
right?! Like an unresolved phrase of music!
Yes, I was also wondering this!
That was my question! Maybe they had one of those canvas thingies you put on the seat to keep it clean. Seems like a smart thing at this point.
Damn, that must have included about 3 pounds of... never mind.
But yes, THE DAMN CAR! How was that resolved???
See above.
‘As best we could’ does not seem sufficient. I would have had to have a new seat installed
Sorry but I think it’s bad form to mix pee, pool, and poll in one article.
Your comment casts a pall over the column. Gene may have to pull it.
Please, don’t be a pill.
I demand the immediate, unredacted release of the Dog Diarrhea files. Something doesn’t smell right.
All right, Epstein. The rest of us see what you did there.
As long as we don't have to smell what he did there.
Back in 1924, when my grandmother was pregnant with my mother, the doctor told her to bring her urine to her next appointment. She collected it all, for whatever period of time that was, in glass milk jars. At that next appointment, much to her embarrassment, the doctor informed her that he only needed a little pee.
OK, that's really funny!
Hey we could have told you that you weren't remarkable for free and saved you the lab fee.
Once as a teenager the whole family was going on a beach trip which included our dog. I'm the oldest of four, and we were riding in my grandfathers conversion van, adults in the front and the kids and dog in the back. The dog all of the sudden starting pacing back and forth, which was unusual. We knew something was wrong, and all of the sudden the diarrhea poured out. At the time we were ON THE BAY BRIDGE in traffic! There was no stopping, no pulling over, just four kids screaming and running around (it was a different time... seat belts weren't mandatory yet) trying to avoid the poop spray. We still talk about the time Mikey let us have it on the Bay Bridge.
The worst place, unless you were in the Chesapeake tunnel.
I donated a kidney in 2016, so I've had to do the 24-hr urine collection a few times, pre- and post-donation. Once I even had to use a clean jar to continue the collection because I peed more than the container could hold (I drink a lot of water!). I voted for your heaviest option solely because I remember how heavy the full container was, although in hindsight I realized that although you said "full jug," it might not have been completely full.
Most importantly, though, did you have Lexi checked out by a vet? Explosive diarrhea isn't normal!
My partner (male name redacted) had ACL surgery about 8 years ago and getting up/walking around was a challenge. His pee solution was to take a plastic gallon jug in which he usually made iced tea to avoid having to get up and go to the actual bathroom. Yes, I found it rather gross as I, being magnanimous, would "dump" out the liquid into the toilet so he didn't have to get up from the couch. After recovery, he sent the jug thru the dishwasher a number of times and returned it to the iced tea function. Almost a decade later, and numerous trips thru the dishwasher, I still refuse to partake in any beverage that comes out of that thing.
Gene, This might out do your dog diarrhea in the car story and perhaps on the brain fart, too, though it won’t be as well written. Late one night, many years ago a skunk sprayed my dog in the back yard. Being young and naïve, I stupidly let the poor dog in the house because I was afraid she was seriously hurt since blood was coming out of her mouth. Once inside, she flung her head back and forth trying to rid herself of the foul odor thereby spreading microscopic droplets of skunk odor throughout the house. Even more terrified by her shaking her head so violently, I put her in my VW rabbit convertible to take her to the emergency vet. The vet said she was fine, they were out of anything to remove skunk odor but maybe I should get some tomato juice on my way home. As anyone familiar with the long-lasting effects of skunk oils can imagine, I'm not sure I ever completely ridded the convertible of either the smell of skunk oil or tomato juice.
Thanks. Please send this to the Fart Button.
But what was the blood coming from her mouth?
she had bitten her tongue, she was sprayed straight on her face
Poor girl!
Reminds me of the (aborted) Monty Python life insurance sketch
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Nmxasse6qw
Excellent. I have not seen this before.
Sorry about the dog poo and the human pee 🤢💩💛
What’s the latest update on cranky ol’ Grandpa?🤗🐈⬛
Still in the basement, grumpy. Very very very slowly mellowing.
I hope that she continues to mellow.
Rachel, Lexi, and you are angels for giving Grandpa the space and time to mellow😌
Did you use a power washer inside the car or just get another car? Take your lovely wife to a fancy hotel with a spa and a pool!
Is Lexi OK?
Re: cat in the basement
Futurama has a couple of horse racing scenes. In one, the lead horse is named "daddy's little grandpa."
"And down the stretch, it's daddy's little grandpa, followed by perennial loser, and bringing up the rear, it's lasty."
Sometimes the thought of a Bojangles chicken patty will do that to you.