69 Comments

There is no point in naming a cat because it won't come when you call it anyways.

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Mine do….usually…..especially when food is involved.

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Ours only when food is involved.

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Maybe “Food” would be a good name.

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In some areas, people actually call the stray cats by yelling the local word for "Food!"

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Some cats will come when you call them. Others will take a message and get back to you.

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I used to have a cat that would come when I whistled. No kidding.

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I have one now! She'll come running from anywhere in the house!

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Me, too.

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Mine was the only one I ever knew that would do that. He also was in love with my undershirts. He'd get very possessive of them when I took them off, and growled at me for wanting to put them in the hamper.

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The cat's name is so that you don't just swear with no reason. It gives you someone to swear at, someone to swear about. It keeps you among the sane.

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But you should never take your dog named "Shark" to the beach!

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I've heard a possibly-true story of someone who kept saying "dammit" to the cat, so he provisionally named the cat "dammit". Then a friend who has a long enough memory to remember the Rocky Horror Picture Show would add "Janet" each time the owner called it "dammit". The cat's name became "Janet".

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You also shouldn't name a country...for the same reason.

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Dogs are best named based on their personalities or accomplishments. We once had a dog named Minerva, named for the goddess of wisdom because she was so stupid, she would chase cars, dive head first between the front wheels, and go limp, allowing herself be spun beneath that car until she was thrown out the back and would emerge from the road, unable to walk a straight line, shaking her road rash tattered head until she fell down in the middle of the road. Oddly enough, she died at about age 16 from cancer.

Cats don't need to be named, really, since they don't answer to a name, anyway. We once had a pair of cats named Mr Cat and Miss Kitty because he never really felt like we were on a first name basis with them. They had first names (he was Waylon and she was Willie, names they were given by the person who gave them to us) but no one called them that because doing so elicited no response at all.

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This is a terrific comment, Lori.

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It was also fun to hear the vet shout out Mr Waylon Cat? Exam room three." and then ask us if our last name really was Cat. "No," my husband would respond, "But HIS is."

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Too funny!! The dog tried to master the car 🚘 more than once!???

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She looked just like Benji from the movies. She was so cute it was hard to scold her for being an idiot. I remembered the old joke about 'it the dog catches the car, she wouldn't know what to do with it.' She just wanted the amusement park experience without the wait in line.

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Love someone leaning out the door, or at the dog park, yelling “Whoops!”

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Another great name for a dog would be

"Harder".

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Or hollering "Whoops, there it is" when the dog's bowl is filled

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That's why I voted for that one!

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I suppose it was obvious but that didn’t stop me commenting. 😂

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I was never interested in sharing a first name with my sons (a Sr. to their Jr.), but my wife and I did end up giving our first child my middle name. We have three children and over the years I've joked that I gave all three of them my middle name. Tyler Matthew, Abby Matthew, and Gavin Matthew. So when it fell to me to fill out our dog's registration, I kept up the "trend". Alice Matthew!

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Molly's middle name is Amanda, so that has always been the middle name of our dogs, even Harry the yellow lab.

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If another dog ever comes into your life, and the dog is a she, I recommend that you name her Amanda Bereckonedwith.

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My neighbor's dog is named Branson, so I always greet him by saying, "How are you today Sir Richard!"

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I almost chose Alfred, Lord Tennyson for the cat name, but Harrumph really is better. Anyway, I have a blue-tongue skink (BTS) whose full name is Bartholomew Tennyson Skink. That should really have an Esq. at the end, shouldn't it?

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Is he a member of a Korean boy band?

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I went with W and Pruneface for the same reason. They allow for stretching out the name when calling for it.

“Double-Yoooooooo!”

and

“Prunefaaaaaaace!”

Not that the cat will even come unless it wants to.

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Our neighbors had a cat named Dr. Kit, who had been given that name by their young daughter. We thought this a strange name until we learned that the girl had also received, as a Christmas present, a doctor kit (her mother was a nurse). When the neighbors took Dr. Kit to be spayed, they learned it was too late, with the result that the whole neighborhood partook of her litter. Dr. Kit's owners took one kitten, our neighbors on the other side took another, and our two children took the remaining two. Our daughter named hers Sneaker because of his coloring (like a dirty sneaker), and our son named his Spike (for no evident reason, but it suited him).

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I had a friend who had a dog named Paper Towel. This was the result of her letting her small daughter name it. I thought the name was hilarious and delightful, but she said yelling "Paper Towel!" out the back door had quickly ceased to be charming.

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OTOH, it's always good to know where your Towel is. 😉

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Ooh, Towel is a very good name...

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I knew a dog called grandpa.

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Could he be taught new tricks?

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If you get them young enough and train them, they will come when called. I trained mine to come to me and sit.

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My vote went to Alfred Lord Tennyson for a cat since you can use any of those three words alone, although, let's face it, "Milord" would also be in the mix. This despite the fact that the name "Harrumph" fits every cat I've ever encountered, without exception. Similarly, for dogs, I've never met one for whom "Whoops" wasn't completely appropriate.

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When naming a pet, or a child, always consider how the name will sound when you shout it. For that reason, "Whoops" doesn't work. Most one-syllable names won't. It's difficult to work up a good head of steam before the second syllable.

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This is why my dog's nickname is Gustopher (or Gustopher T. Dog if I really need a lot of syllables).

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I am a paid subscriber, so I guess I get to say this about today's column. Are you OK ?

Can't say I am, but who is these days ? Linda Spiegler in DC

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As a paid subscriber you are absolutely entitled to berate me.

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But not Henry II level berating.

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I think calling Gene a "turbulent priest" would indeed go too far.

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I was thinking more about the monks beating Hank, but yeah, that too.

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"Whoops" is an entirely appropriate name for a pup, since that's what you'll likely be saying to neighbors during those first walkies --- accompanied by a sheepish grin. Having been forced to live with Creatures from Another Planet (known as cats here on Earth) at one time, I found that informally naming them both "FOOD!" generally shouted, and followed up by food, usually got a response, or at least distracted them from their usual pastime of staring fixedly at some unseeable (by humans) object.

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My cats (Grindl and Topsy) paid no attention to their names. They did, however, come a'running whenever I gave two short bursts from my electric can opener.

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We had a cat called Muffin. He knew his name so well that if the word muffin came up in conversation he would raise his head to find out what we wanted. He even

came when called. Sometimes.

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The cat in the "Pickles" comic strip is named Muffin. He is more characteristically feline, i.e., arrogant and dismissive.

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