A co-worker back in my days on the Hill was commuting in a speedy direct bus to work when his last meal made a surprising rush to his . . . bottom. He knew what was coming. He begged, pleaded and wept to the driver to please PLEASE let him off, but they were in the speedy bus lane and it was not to be. It all just had to happen. During rush hour. On a crowded bus. He borrowed a person's WaPo [so fitting] to wrap around himself and hid in the bathroom until a friend could bring him alternate wear. Quite literally, hell on wheels.
Neither have I never not pooped in my pants. Once on a road trip across Ohio, I was feeling the urge. As we approached a rest stop, I was blocked by some dickhead from moving into the exit lane. As it was not an emergency, I thought OK, next rest stop about 40 miles or 30 minutes at the going speed as up to that point, about every 40 miles seemed to be case. Or so I thought. Turns out, the next rest stop was SIXTY miles. As it was becoming an emergency, I took the next exit, which turns out was the exit to Cedar Point Amusement park. This being the summer, traffic, like me, was backed up. Until I wasn't. I still feel sorry for whomever had to empty that trash can at the McDonald's. Fair warning about that one LONG stretch between Ohio rest stops.
Never have I ever seen any of the Star Wars films, despite having been around (and relatively sentient) since that whole thing started. I'm not sure why.
Oh, I said that in jest. It had its time and place in popular culture, but the biggest value the franchise has these days is as a warning about not leaving well enough alone.
I've never seen any of the Star Wars films either. I didn't purposely avoid them or anything; there was just never a situation where I HAD to see them (like being part of a bunch of people who wanted to see one).
I only saw one episode of "Seinfeld." After spending every workday dealing with annoying New Yorkers, the last thing I wanted to see when I got home was a show full of annoying New Yorkers.
I don't know about DC, but here in Iowa we have a program that teaches at risk youth using old cars donated to the program. They would have accepted that car, repaired it, and auctioned it off to both teach how to repair vehicles but also to raise funds for the program. At 75,000 original miles, that car would have been a great project car and probably would have sold very well.
I have a mantel clock with a faceplate that says it was given to a worker in His Majesty’s Shipyard in 1912. I often wonder if the recipient worked on the Titanic. Took it to a clockmaker once who said, “You know, this clock really shouldn’t still be working.” It’s still going strong and has a beautiful chime.
As for the cost of repairing the car, my accountant’s favorite phrase is, “The best economic decision is not necessarily the best decision for you.”
Gary the Librarian: My Mazda Protege lasted 23 years and was in good shape when I traded it in for a 2014 Mazda 3 GT with better safety features and a much better luxury level. I expect a Mazda to last, now. But the oldest two things in my house are two pre-Columbian pottery dishes from Mexico that were part of a Texas Tech University museum sale in 1968. Who knows how they got out of Mexico? But I have them and I have no idea how old they are.
My 1978 Chevy wagon (bought a year old, to replace a 1967 Plymouth Valiant bought new) was still running in 2005 when I replaced it with a Saturn Vue. It was a popular model for people in the building trades (there was an identical one in my small town that was sometimes mistaken for mine). The person who bought mine may well have been in that trade. What I do know is that he got a bargain because I sold it when gas prices were sky-high. I allowed him to talk me down from (IIRC) $600 to $300, with my husband's approval, but when my husband found out I'd sold it with a full tank of gas, he said he would have argued for a higher price.
I've never, ever willingly or knowingly ridden a roller coaster. I did stupidly get on the Space Mountain ride at Disney World which, it turns out, is a roller coaster. I do not trust people or the things they make. Blessings to all who are victims and families of the bridge disaster in Baltimore - stunningly awful.
When we were around 12 a friend and I skipped school and rode the subway to Coney Island, where we were planning to (among other exciting activities) ride a roller-coaster called the Wildcat. When we got there I realized I was feeling mighty apprehensive so decided to take a trial run on the little-kiddie version, the Wild Mouse.
I was several years older than the other Wild Mouse riders and yet that was enough for me. Louise rode the Wildcat by herself that day, and I've never been near another roller-coaster. Nothing would make me go near Space Mountain.
I thought it was like the Haunted Mansion ride - Nope. You were very wise! Wise about not riding the Wildcat, but at 12 riding the Subway to Coney Island!! Yikes. LOL!
Meanwhile, I’m thinking “inversion coaster”? Sounds like something new and exciting I have to try! But I looked them up and I’ve been enjoying them for years, I was simply unfamiliar with the term. Takes all kinds. I’m lucky that at least ONE of my kids likes coasters too, so we go to amusement parks, you know, for his sake.
I have to stop responding to the polls while trying to work. I mis-read the second pole as "Are you the oldest human", so one less "yes" and one more "no."
When I was in college in the 80s, Never Have I Ever was one of our favorite drinking games. Someone said they had never done something and if you HAD dine that thing, you had to drink. As you can imagine, most of the things were raunchy or illegal in nature. Definitely changed our perceptions of some of our friends.
We have a number of objects in our home that are two-three times my age (I am the oldest human). Four times my age, when we include some coins. 10-12 times my age, when we include some illicitly collected potsherds found on the ground at the mouth of a New Mexico canyon. But the fossils outstrip all that stuff, including a trilobite that is at least 4 million times my age.
If it sat for extended periods without the fluids cycling, contaminants can build up on surfaces. I believe there was a Below the Beltway piece about a car that went a million miles in a short amount of time. Despite wear and tear and certain component failures, it kept running because it was kept running. The owner verified road maps for a living.
If you need parts for old cars, I know a car salvage company in the tiny town of Ira, Iowa (less than 100 people) that has everything you could ever need and then some. The owner is a cousin. In fact, you can't spit in that county without hitting one of my relatives. They are very well known in the industry.
If the replacement price of $3K includes the labor, then it is likely that the tranny came from a junkyard. A rebuilt tranny would run about $3K, with labor being additional.
There's a song in there somewhere. Maybe a ditty something like: "Granny's Tranny's Gone to Join Her and Left Me With All This Crap and Nowhere To Put It Blues."
Rachel's in luck. A quick check shows there are a number of 2001 Honda Accords available, some with only slightly higher mileage than hers and in colors that would have made the former East Germany proud. So --- she can now turn the go-no-mo into a front lawn shrine or planter.
Never have I ever not pooped in my pants ever since my car accident in 1996... :-)
I am amazed to be the first commenter of the day.
Holy shit, as it were.
A co-worker back in my days on the Hill was commuting in a speedy direct bus to work when his last meal made a surprising rush to his . . . bottom. He knew what was coming. He begged, pleaded and wept to the driver to please PLEASE let him off, but they were in the speedy bus lane and it was not to be. It all just had to happen. During rush hour. On a crowded bus. He borrowed a person's WaPo [so fitting] to wrap around himself and hid in the bathroom until a friend could bring him alternate wear. Quite literally, hell on wheels.
OMG
"Never have you ever NOT pooped in your pants?" That's truly amazing. And disgusting......
Just pointing out a shituation known as incontinence.
Neither have I never not pooped in my pants. Once on a road trip across Ohio, I was feeling the urge. As we approached a rest stop, I was blocked by some dickhead from moving into the exit lane. As it was not an emergency, I thought OK, next rest stop about 40 miles or 30 minutes at the going speed as up to that point, about every 40 miles seemed to be case. Or so I thought. Turns out, the next rest stop was SIXTY miles. As it was becoming an emergency, I took the next exit, which turns out was the exit to Cedar Point Amusement park. This being the summer, traffic, like me, was backed up. Until I wasn't. I still feel sorry for whomever had to empty that trash can at the McDonald's. Fair warning about that one LONG stretch between Ohio rest stops.
Emptying that trash can couldn't be any worse than being stuck in stop-and-go traffic behind a Doody Calls pickup truck on a 90-degree day.
Man, talk about dark humor. I think you have stifled all the thoughts we might have wanted to share.
It was a joke. I have rarely pooped in my pants since my car accident. It has happened but it has been very few times. Sorry if it traumatized anyone.
I dunno. It was funnier when I thought it was true, though I’m glad it is not.
I too can attest that I’ve never pooped in Jon Gearhart’s pants. To my knowledge. Abject apologies if I’m wrong on this one.
Is doing so on your Bucket List?
I’ll doublecheck it later tonight but I don’t believe so.
Jon Gearhart, I think that you should thank Sam for not pooping in your pants.
Never have I ever had a tasteful orange bottom.
Which means that you are not an Oompa Loompa.
It all depends on where you’re seated.
Oh, THAT time. All I can say is it wasn’t tasteful in the least.
Never have I ever seen any of the Star Wars films, despite having been around (and relatively sentient) since that whole thing started. I'm not sure why.
I could drop a few spoilers, but there’s no guarantee Lucas hasn’t edited them out.
Not planning to start now. Spoil away.
Oh, I said that in jest. It had its time and place in popular culture, but the biggest value the franchise has these days is as a warning about not leaving well enough alone.
You forgot about the Star Wars franchise being an object lesson in how NOT to write character dialogue.
I know.
I've never seen any of the Star Wars films either. I didn't purposely avoid them or anything; there was just never a situation where I HAD to see them (like being part of a bunch of people who wanted to see one).
I only saw one episode of "Seinfeld." After spending every workday dealing with annoying New Yorkers, the last thing I wanted to see when I got home was a show full of annoying New Yorkers.
Signed,
An annoying New Yorker (at the time)
I don't know about DC, but here in Iowa we have a program that teaches at risk youth using old cars donated to the program. They would have accepted that car, repaired it, and auctioned it off to both teach how to repair vehicles but also to raise funds for the program. At 75,000 original miles, that car would have been a great project car and probably would have sold very well.
I have a mantel clock with a faceplate that says it was given to a worker in His Majesty’s Shipyard in 1912. I often wonder if the recipient worked on the Titanic. Took it to a clockmaker once who said, “You know, this clock really shouldn’t still be working.” It’s still going strong and has a beautiful chime.
As for the cost of repairing the car, my accountant’s favorite phrase is, “The best economic decision is not necessarily the best decision for you.”
Gary the Librarian: My Mazda Protege lasted 23 years and was in good shape when I traded it in for a 2014 Mazda 3 GT with better safety features and a much better luxury level. I expect a Mazda to last, now. But the oldest two things in my house are two pre-Columbian pottery dishes from Mexico that were part of a Texas Tech University museum sale in 1968. Who knows how they got out of Mexico? But I have them and I have no idea how old they are.
My 1978 Chevy wagon (bought a year old, to replace a 1967 Plymouth Valiant bought new) was still running in 2005 when I replaced it with a Saturn Vue. It was a popular model for people in the building trades (there was an identical one in my small town that was sometimes mistaken for mine). The person who bought mine may well have been in that trade. What I do know is that he got a bargain because I sold it when gas prices were sky-high. I allowed him to talk me down from (IIRC) $600 to $300, with my husband's approval, but when my husband found out I'd sold it with a full tank of gas, he said he would have argued for a higher price.
I've never, ever willingly or knowingly ridden a roller coaster. I did stupidly get on the Space Mountain ride at Disney World which, it turns out, is a roller coaster. I do not trust people or the things they make. Blessings to all who are victims and families of the bridge disaster in Baltimore - stunningly awful.
When we were around 12 a friend and I skipped school and rode the subway to Coney Island, where we were planning to (among other exciting activities) ride a roller-coaster called the Wildcat. When we got there I realized I was feeling mighty apprehensive so decided to take a trial run on the little-kiddie version, the Wild Mouse.
I was several years older than the other Wild Mouse riders and yet that was enough for me. Louise rode the Wildcat by herself that day, and I've never been near another roller-coaster. Nothing would make me go near Space Mountain.
I thought it was like the Haunted Mansion ride - Nope. You were very wise! Wise about not riding the Wildcat, but at 12 riding the Subway to Coney Island!! Yikes. LOL!
We were stupid, and lucky.
Congratulations on having survived Space Mountain! Not sure I would have.
I closed my eyes and gripped tight - it felt like it would never end.
Meanwhile, I’m thinking “inversion coaster”? Sounds like something new and exciting I have to try! But I looked them up and I’ve been enjoying them for years, I was simply unfamiliar with the term. Takes all kinds. I’m lucky that at least ONE of my kids likes coasters too, so we go to amusement parks, you know, for his sake.
I have to stop responding to the polls while trying to work. I mis-read the second pole as "Are you the oldest human", so one less "yes" and one more "no."
Oh. Damn. Yes, same for me.
And me.
Glad I'm not alone.
Oh no, me too.
Welcome to the club!
One more.
Me four.
Make it five.
She died in a hospital in Virginia D.C. in 2013..
where is Virginia D.C.?
When I was in college in the 80s, Never Have I Ever was one of our favorite drinking games. Someone said they had never done something and if you HAD dine that thing, you had to drink. As you can imagine, most of the things were raunchy or illegal in nature. Definitely changed our perceptions of some of our friends.
We have a number of objects in our home that are two-three times my age (I am the oldest human). Four times my age, when we include some coins. 10-12 times my age, when we include some illicitly collected potsherds found on the ground at the mouth of a New Mexico canyon. But the fossils outstrip all that stuff, including a trilobite that is at least 4 million times my age.
This discussion reminds me of the last time I blew a tranny. It was not good.
Um.
...the last time I destroyed and automobile's transmission...
Right! I mean, that's what I figured you meant.
Could have been misconstrued, is all I'm saying. By dirty-minded people (unlike me that is).
I have a Seth Thomas clock would love you to repair.
I am wondering where someone is going to find a transmission for a 23-year-old vehicle.
75,000 miles over 23 years? I think the transmission pooped its own pants out of shock for being taken past second.
If it sat for extended periods without the fluids cycling, contaminants can build up on surfaces. I believe there was a Below the Beltway piece about a car that went a million miles in a short amount of time. Despite wear and tear and certain component failures, it kept running because it was kept running. The owner verified road maps for a living.
If you need parts for old cars, I know a car salvage company in the tiny town of Ira, Iowa (less than 100 people) that has everything you could ever need and then some. The owner is a cousin. In fact, you can't spit in that county without hitting one of my relatives. They are very well known in the industry.
How are they at spitting?
Any direction, preferably into the wind so it sprays back in their face.
Junkyards. Online junkyards. In our advanced society, this is now possible. Shipping's gonna be a killer, though.
If the replacement price of $3K includes the labor, then it is likely that the tranny came from a junkyard. A rebuilt tranny would run about $3K, with labor being additional.
Here is a meaning of "tranny" that I had not encountered before.
Build it from spare parts?
Definitely a rebuilt transmission. No chance of new old stock (something that's sat in a warehouse for decades).
There's a song in there somewhere. Maybe a ditty something like: "Granny's Tranny's Gone to Join Her and Left Me With All This Crap and Nowhere To Put It Blues."
Rachel's in luck. A quick check shows there are a number of 2001 Honda Accords available, some with only slightly higher mileage than hers and in colors that would have made the former East Germany proud. So --- she can now turn the go-no-mo into a front lawn shrine or planter.