28 Comments

when our children were schoolkids, my husband used to regale them (and himself) by looking for funny last names in the phone book, and thinking up suitable first names to go with them, and it is a shame that, due to the lack of paper phone directories, he cannot entertain our grandchildren in the same way.

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As kids in the 60s, while going through the phone book, we discovered that there was a woman in our home town named Caliope Maladarudakis. My friends wound up having regular chats with her.

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Reminds me of a friend of mine who found a person named Alto L. Fudge in his hometown phone book. This amused him so much that he made his email address something like altolfudge@gmail.com.

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When I first encountered modern Greek names, I was momentarily confused that they didn’t sound like they came out of Homer or Hesiod. Sort of like visitors to the US expecting us to still be wearing tricorn hats or coonskin caps.

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So... you had a Greek woman in your town? What am I missing?

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Nothing. There really is no there, there. I found that I couldn’t find sufficient words to express the amusement to a group of tween boys of finding someone, in their limited worldview, named after a circus organ, while pursuing their newfound naughty interest in prank phone calls. Instead, I tacked on a lame second sentence and hit Post, when I should have hit Cancel.

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Okay! I understand. I just thought I was missing some naughty overtone or something. I think it's funny that you thought it was so funny. No need to cancel.

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You did fine. It's a great name.

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My GP once recommended a specialist to me, one "Dr. Jew" (sic!). I laughed. The GP reacted with exactly the same disappointed frown with which my mother had tended to greet my wittier sallies, and said "he's Asian." I said "it's still funny." He frowned harder.

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It strikes me that calling your columns "mean," "rude" and "juvenile" is evidence that those who wielded the blue pencils in your days at the WaPo probably had overprotective parents. Or at a minimum, kept them away from groups of small boys (or girls, which were their equals --- or worse) thus preventing them from developing a finely honed sense of impudence and mockery (okay, okay..."irony.")

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Ah, Necco Wafers. Made wonderful projectiles to sail at the screen from the balcony during Saturday matinees. As it happens, I was recently "gifted" one (and only one...) by a small relative. Think it was the Pepto-Bismol-colored "wintergreen," not a favorite of small relatives, I was told. Anyway, I did notice a difference in taste (assuming an accurate mouth memory) --- probably attributable to the sanitation problems which closed the original New England Confectionery Co. factory, presumably corrected by the new owners. But it is worth noting that they still rank at the top of "worst Halloween candy" ratings along with circus peanuts. So, should you let nostalgia get the better of you and plan to hand out Necco Wafers next month, plan also to have to remove toilet paper from your holly bushes. In fact, count on it.

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What’s your stance on Peeps as Halloween candy? Never could stand them. At Easter I would eat one Peep purely to placate, and then let the rest grow hard and throw them away.

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Ah yes --- fossilized Peeps --- ironically produced, I'm informed, by Just Born Quality Confections, lately of Bethlehem, PA. Now there's a Halloween memory for you. Seem to recall a rock-like bunny --- always what must have been a holdover Easter bunny --- showing up each Halloween in our motley assortment of revenge takings --- along with strange, misshapen dough creatures, formed by arthritic fingers or a warped mind. Mother always charitably informed us it was the former, before suggesting we really, really might not care for them --- and after a couple of obligatory "But whys !?" --- adding them to at least half of what we brought home that found the bottom of a Glad bag, quickly removed, as if containing hazmat, to a trash can in the garage.

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No mention of the previous Lord of Aptonym, the retired Fairfax gynecologist Dr. Harry Beaver?

I would cite Chocolate Neccos as my Nickelback, except they are rare.

My family swears that my sneezes are so loud that they scare small children.

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When I was a kid, my mother while driving would try to keep her eyes open when she was sneezing. It came out like a prolonged scream. Very hard on the nerves.

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When I hired and managed student workers at a University Library in Texas, I had Sam Ohno, Sharon Hoo, and another student I just can not remember now. But I wanted to do another version of "Who is on First." With Hoo, Ohno and someone else. Sam was from Africa and Sharon from China.

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"People have always said “bless you” for a reason: Here’s hoping you don’t die."

I read somewhere that this custom originated in Medieval times, when people feared that if you left your mouth open too long, a demon would enter it.

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My podiatrist was Dr. Footer and my cat’s vet was Dr. Basset. I didn’t have a basset hound but he was the show vet for the local basset hound club’s dog show.

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My kids' great grandmother was Ella Chase of the New England Confectionary Company's Chases, so NECCO Wafers figure prominently in the nostalgic "never eaten" but always present Easter Baskets and Christmas stockings. The chocolate one is palatable. Remember NECCO also made those very pink Chase Mints.

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NECCO also made the Sky Bar.

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Nickelback: Brussel Sprouts

When I was a kid, my mother served them to us, and my brother and sister hated them.

Not me--I loved them! Still do. Yum.

P.S. I had entered this as a Sosuime, but I was in error.

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As a kid, I feared them, although I'm not sure I ever had them. As an adult, I love Brussels sprouts and everyone but my older sister loves them when I make them. My kids started eating them when they were in middle school, or maybe it was earlier, and they love them. It's weird.

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How do you make them? Recipe please!

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Nothing special – just steam them in the microwave for 10 minutes on high. When I choose to get fancy, I steam them for 5 minutes, then sauté in olive oil until they are getting crispy. Usually cut in half, especially with the bigger ones. When I get fancy, and plan ahead, I cu them in half, toss with olive oil, sprinkle with lemon juice, and roast in a covered dish for maybe 30-45 minutes.

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Thanks!

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My mother liked to tell of a surgeon whose name she saw on the roster at her physician's practice, a Dr. Cuteroff (in 3 syllables, not as in "cute")

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Not a Nickelback, since you've already said you and the Empress like it, but I do like licorice. And I love sneezing. It is very cathartic (with or without gesundheits or "bless you"s.

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May I suggest the "Word of the Day" be "sternutation" (you could look it up) ? Easy to get addicted to sneezing. There's that relief from the build up of muscle tension and some evidence of the release of endorphins, the "feel good" hormones, after sneezing. And speaking of an orgasm (you were, weren't you ?), research indicates having one can trigger a bout of sneezing. So --- love does mean (sometimes) having to say you're sorry. And no --- he won't go blind --- probably IS Billy's allergies. In order to add some gravitas and give a nod to the inexplicable international acceptance of TGP, here are purported national sneezes (and "Bless Yous" or equivalents): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cv1eatscI_0

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