54 Comments

Offhand can't remember which author it is that often ends chapters with things along the line of if only she'd known what was going to happen or a big surprise was waiting type sentence. Might be Grafton- I know I've complained about it in my Goodreads reviews. Otherwise the writing is good enough to overlook that mistake.

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From the intro, I always thought that the D in DMV was for the District

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The current term "DMV" IS District-Maryland-Virginia, the D.C. area. He confused it with the Delmarva Peninsula; sometimes you'll see "Delmarva chickens," for example. It's pretty much the rural eastern sections of the three states.

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I always thought DMV stood for the Department of Motor Vehicles- that's where my car registration emails come from here in Maryland. At least they used to- I now see MVA.

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It's the Department of Motor Vehicles in D.C. and Virginia, MVA (Motor Vehicle Administration) in Maryland; it's been called that at least since the 1970s. And yes, that was Gene's point in saying that the term DMV "conjures up images of long lines and bored, shuffling, hostile clerks) so it needs a new name."

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Gene's now fixed that. He and I are 1-and-1 for brain farts this afternoon.

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Gene giving me permission to shoot him in the head is not unlike my giving my wife permission to shoot me if my pants ever fall down in public.

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Because I am a "word person" and got a B in calculus only because of a curve to rival a highway cloverleaf (and because it was calculus for word people), I identified this week's Invitational as Week 3 instead of Week 4. Gene rescued the one at the top of the page, but, as of this writing, not the one directly above the contest. I will practice counting all the way up to 5 for next week's contest.

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Fret not fair "Pretender to the Throne" (I presume you haven't yet settled). Just as there is a philosophy of physics, there is literary mathematics. Neither one of which accounts for your lapse however, but a little misdirection at the right time does often throw off one's critics I always say.

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Did mathematically determining that your class curve was akin to a highway cloverleaf play a role in obtaining your B in Calculus for Word People?

Cornell University used to (and perhaps still does, but I am old) have a class called Physics for Poets. One of the liberal arts majors in my dorm was taking it, and I cannot begin to tell you how exciting it was for all of us engineering majors to help her with her homework. For a word-person analogy to this situation, imagine that you are tearing your hair out trying to copyedit Finnegans Wake, but every once in a while someone ducks their head in to ask you how many i's are in "cemetery."

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I wish I'd had some nice engineering majors helping me with my calculus homework!

I also took Physics of Music and barely got through that one. But the professor also played early-music instruments and had lots of interesting asides.

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What did you major in --- Masochism ?

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Hooray for Pythagorus's invention of what we know as octaves, fifths and fourths! OK, he didn't really invent them, but he described what they are.

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That was about as much as I could follow. But I was great at spelling Pythagoras. Which is how I ended up becoming a professional pedant.

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Beyond Pythagorus, I started to lose it at how the well-tempered scale came to be (for anyone that might not know, that is what we know as the 8 note do-re-mi... scale).

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Or at least the diatonic scale (the one we typically use for major and minor). Tuning by "well temperament" equalizes the distances between notes so that an F-sharp and G-flat are the same thing, and you can play the piano in any key without sounding out of tune. This was what Bach was showing off in his "Well-Tempered Clavier" collection of pieces in all the different keys. (This is all still a gross oversimplification. I'm a word person.)

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A natural and regular occurrence Pat when you use the Canine Number System.

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You are a liar, Pat. Well, not exactly a liar. Well, you're not exactly wrong. But it has been changed, so, in real time, you are a liar.

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My hero!

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How's your eye??

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Thanks for asking. Suddenly, seems to have been Sunday night, I developed a corneal ulcer, a big infection right in the middle of my right eye (not visible without instruments, thank goodness). It hurt just horribly on Monday but then got much better later in the day.

I went to the ophthalmologist yesterday anyway, fortunately, because this thing turns out to be very serious if left untreated; you can lose an eye. So I'm taking "killer antibiotic" eye drops every single hour. He had me come back this morning and saw that I'm already on the mend -- but now I have to go back yet again tomorrow to see the corneal specialist to see if I also need eye-steroids, which will enable me to be a designated hitter -- if I keep my eye on the ball.

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Pat --- Glad to hear you're on the mend and that the eyes still have it. You may have come down with Ha Syndrome, a little understood condition thought to be brought on by the reading of an excessive number of attempts at humor. It was first mentioned in the literature by a Korean-American ophthalmological researcher who noticed an unusual number of the same problem among judges of the Bulwer Lytton Fiction Contest and late night talk show hosts.

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Is “killer antibiotic” considered to be a good thing?

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It is for me. Not so much for the bacteria that have decided to have a party in my eyeball.

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Good luck, better drugs, and best care!

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I think you may have stumbled onto something with your Mencken analysis. Maybe God is a woman, who first created woman in her own image. Then, she created man, placing his gonads on the outside between his legs out of spite. She may also have planted the seed in his brain to invent sports, and then had a good chuckle.

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This reminds me of my "proof" that I'm adopted. When I was a kid, I asked my mom why a boy's bike has a solid bar across the top, while on a girl's bike, that bar swoops down toward the pedals. Later in life I learned that it had to do with girls in old times riding bikes while wearing full-length dresses--but that wasn't the response my mom gave me. She said it was because if a girl fell forward off a bike seat, and landed hard on that bar, she could severely injure her privates. I just stared in disbelief. Anyone who would think that a boy experiencing that same fall wouldn't be at least as seriously injured clearly has no understanding of male anatomy. Which also means she's never had carnal relations with a man. Which leaves only two options--I'm the second coming of the messiah, or I'm adopted. I'm leaning toward the latter explanation.

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Post-shame era would have started with Gen X, so all of you please post your shame here.

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All right, so I've just spent 15 minutes reading and re-reading Gene answering questions. Is that it? Is this the chat? Is there no more to it than reading Gene answering questions at a particular time of the day? And if so then why a particular time of the day? I can read Gene answering questions any time, can't I? Or do the answers disappear at 2pm?

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I probably shouldn't reveal this, but if you fork over $250 you get to enter a special area where Gene gives virtual lap dances. Word is his answering questions is a far better value.

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I do not understand your question. You are aware there was a big introduction, right? It's here. https://geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-invitational-week-3-questionable

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Yes. I read that, and not between 1 and 2 pm, either, but several days ago. Now I discover that the Big Chat is actually not a chat at all but rather a Gene Answer to half a dozen questions people turned in before the Big Chat. Is that all it is?

In the old days a chat was a bunch of people all talking at once by typing stuff in and everyone reading everyone's comments. Perhaps my bafflement is merely that I expected something that isn't offered.

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Marcus, honestly, I don't know what you are talking about. You could not have read that several days ago. It wasn't even written several days ago, let alone published. Are you just trolling along?

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I thought by 'intro' you were referring to whatever it was that contained the poll I answered on Tuesday. I am clearly confused by the format.

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There was a new one today, with a new poll.

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the chat actually goes on here, in comments as well as above submitted questions, in case that is helpful.

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I suppose I had expected something like a zoom meeting but without voices -- with typing instead. I don't understand how it's a chat without something like that. It seems as if it's really just talking to the prof by email, but everyone can see both your email and the prof's reply?

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Yes, the chat-- which is what it was called for 20 years at The Post -- is more like a Reddit AMA, a q&a -- but you can continue to send in questions and have them answered in real time (keep refreshing the page), as well as comment and discuss live at the bottom of the page.

Meanwhile, you're doing a great job of furthering your Big Churl persona.

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Boy, if you think THAT was "Big Churl", wait until you start to talk about something that actually pisses me off.

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Well--- and again I probably shouldn't reveal this --- it literally did start out as a Zoom-like get-together, but then Jeffrey Toobin Zoom bombed it with his new "hands-free" set-up.

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Yes the president of that college is still president despite the overwhelming faculty vote for him to resign, but then Elon Musk is still CEO of Twitter, last I checked.

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Yes, but the president of the college doesn't own the college.

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The president of that college is actually not a “him”, so you butchered that observation.

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Have you consulted with him about his pronouns?

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No, but I consulted them on their pronouns, that saved a lot of time.

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Word is --- in an effort to demonstrate his idea of transparency, Elon will be stepping down shortly in favor of his hologram.

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Save it for bad puns week.

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Too late and not exactly a pun but one out of three ain't bad for a Weingarten chat.

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I thought it was funny. Good lord, has everyone been hit with the Churlish Flu.

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Ah well -- must be that debt ceiling gavel of Damocles or seasonal affective disorder.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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January 26, 2023
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Well, the developers still need to do a good deal of tweaking. Asked one to talk dirty to me and got a disquisition on potting soil.

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