Hello. Because it is Thanksgiving Week and no one wants to read “smart takes” or “deep dives,” today will be an abbreviated Gene Pool (AKA an abrvtd gn pl) featuring short extemporanea and extranea.
Sexting and other affair-ish behaviors: the real problem is that one partner is doing something they know the other partner wouldn’t like and is hiding it from them. That takes the intimacy right out of a relationship. The partner may feel forced into lying because they know the reaction they would get if they were honest about what they’re doing. It all comes down to how well people really want to know their partner.
I think I am just expanding on what you're saying,.
If Adam is hiding an interaction from a partner, no matter how inconsequential Adam thinks it is, than Adam's acknowledging that his partner would not agree. Adam knows his partner would be hurt. Adam doesn't care that he is hurting them.
Why does Adam stay married to someone he doesn't mind hurting?
Any contemptuous behavior in a relationship is damaging -- anything that interferes with partners acting as partners. There are plenty of relationships where sexting or pretty much anything else is totally fine and bothers nobody. The key is preserving the team.
When I read Tracy villain my brain misread it as Tracy Ullman, also known for her wacky characters and costumes and voices, so I was like, yeah, makes sense--the cabinet picks are like Tracy Ullman characters.
Affair? Indiscretion? Mulligan? Call it what you want, what matters is how it affects your other existing relationships. And that will be dependent on the individual specifics of each. The mistake would be letting the applied label tell you how you should feel / what’s acceptable, rather than dealing with how the incident, whatever it was, impacts people’s emotions.
I loved the image of the man taped to the wall surrounded by banana critics. So much more worthy than the plain taped banana. Also loved the clip about the big pig!
A renowned male writer and radio personality nearly lost it all over an "emotional affair" he had while married. The woman in question, after several years, accused him under the 'me, too' banner as having sexually harassed her [no sex was had]. His marriage survived, but emotional connections of a romantic nature are not generally what is expected when betrothed. Checking the rules between partners isn't a bad idea. Intimacy is important to many who create a pairing, and that isn't shared easily, IMHO. Holding hands can be seen in context. Sexting, not so much.
This whole thing makes me think about the word “adultery.” Adult-ery. Which makes it sound like just something adults do. Like going to sleep before midnight. A very normal thing.
But then there is adulteration, which means weakening or damaging something that was pure or good. And this makes me think that “adult” is a bad thing.
So, does being adult mean that we are no longer pure or good, or that we have broken something? Is adultery normal adulting?
I don’t like that idea at all.
(No research or dictionaries were consulted in the typing of this comment. I am outdoors, typing while walking home from the grocery store, having completed my Thanksgiving shopping. Adulting, perhaps. Or not.)
As for Jack Smith asking for the dismissal of the Demento fed cases rather than soldiering on and ignoring the two flaccid DOJ memos on presidential criminal immunity --- thus forcing Demento's DOJ to do the deed --- it largely comes down to two things. Actually three things. It wouldn't have made a difference because of the election and who was elected. The Imperial Court would almost certainly have had another say. The J/6 case was dismissed "without prejudice" meaning there is a (slight) chance it could be refiled when Demento leaves office. Undoubtedly, if left up to the Demento DOJ, even that slight chance would vanish. And finally, there is the matter of a timely report issued before the possibility of it being um..."disappeared" under the Demento DOJ, which is far more important to the historical record of Demento's perversion of democracy than what would be essentially going through the motions of a prosecution.
Considering the election of Trump, it seemed like the behavior of a school of fish when they all manage to turn at the same time. Quantum entanglement? But not thought. In older hypnotism events a subject was told to sing a song when the door was opened after they woke, and they did that. But if asked why they sang, they would have all sorts of answers. None of which were relevant. It was just time to vote for a Republican. How could reason lead to Trump when he was convicted and guilty? Likely a spy. And Romney got kicked out of the race when he said he was brainwashed. Or Bush (the elder) lost when he won a war and fixed the economy. Just nobody seemed to notice. No rhyme or reason. Just mass human behavior. We do that.
A bit too facile for me Gary. Yes, there certainly was a definite wave of anti-incumbency feeling in elections around the world, largely based on the social and economic artifacts of the pandemic. And that may have been a factor here but, I suggest, with all of the postmortems, the reality was a slim plurality of voters decided a woman of color -- and one they just met for all practical purposes --- couldn't possibly help them realize what they claim to want, as opposed to a bloviating grifter they have known seemingly forever. Then throw in false memories of the "good old days" for good measure.
Not to disagree because I had the same thoughts. But when I look at the last 50 years ago, we have moved from Nixon to Carter to Reagan to Clinton and it seems more like a natural force than individual decisions. Just as with a school of fish. Or perhaps both were at work and with close elections these "secondary factors" seemed to rule.
With this election the courts managed to keep information about Trump hidden, where Nixon was forced to release his tapes of White House conversations. The courts did their part, too.
I can only refer to these lyrics in Property, Todd Rundgren: “When you slip on that ring, they start to treat you like a thing.” The whole song is worth a listen so here you go: https://youtu.be/TUwyZtPEPOw?si=XmiE6LLn6mu0SKre
One of the finest examples of functional art is the London Underground Map (technically a diagram) which was the brainchild of a graphic artist named Harry Beck. I wish WMATA would adopt some of his innovations such as directional tick marks pointing to station labels and white line connectors for line transfers. I've read the book Mr. Beck's Underground Map multiple times for how to display large amounts of interconnected information clearly and concisely.
While certain design elements have indeed withstood the test of time, the problem with the "Tube" map is that over the nine decades since it was first published, it acquired so much detail as the system expanded as to become almost useless in trying to quickly figure out how to navigate from one point to another, and for newbies or tourists, in particular. Certainly not something you want in a "map," and especially one originally designed for usefulness over accuracy. The latest unsolicited attempt at improving the "usability" of the map puts it in circular form, an altogether better map from that standpoint. There's more space and the routes are clearer, while still using the long-established and recognizable colors and fonts, although it does not have the wealth of information the iconic Transport for London (TfL) map provides. But according to the TfL, apparently redesigning the map for greater "usability" or "readability" is not of primary importance since the map as is, is “an iconic piece of world-renowned design.”
IIRC, there were different maps created. One was a completely integrated map with British Rail included. Another was a central London map that cut out the more distant stations that were less likely to used by tourists and casual travelers.
In Mr. Beck's Underground Map, there is a part dedicated to when a "new and improved" map based on hexagonal cells was introduced much to Beck's horror. He thought for certain he would be called in to fix it. Instead, his protege fixed it and even Beck thought it was rendered well.
You can pick two of three attributes for the diagram: Physical Accuracy, Functional Utility and Pleasing Aesthetics. Beck sacrificed the first. Metro abandoned all three.
There is a classic practical joke based on the London Tube Map. I wish I could remember the details, but I can't except that Tower Hill station was one of the points. The gist of it was that you could give someone directions to get from Point A to Point B via Tube (a longish distance that probably required transferring from one line to another), and when they came up from Point B, they'd realize they were about a block from where they started. Because the map does not try to represent actual geography, this is far from evident.
Stand outside Bank Underground Station. Give a visitor a Tube Map and tell him to meet you outside the Mansion House. Then go and have a coffee.
What the map does not tell you is that the Mansion House (the home of the Lord Mayor of London) is by Bank Station not by Mansion House station. So by the time your visitor has made the difficult train journey to Mansion House Station and walked back to the Mansion House, he will be cheesed off.
This is what's called "inventive spacing." Harry Beck got the idea of more or less equally spacing the stations on his map from drawing an electrical circuit diagram. The underlying thought or rationale being that when riding the Underground all you're really interested in is your stop and maybe how many stops there are en route from the station where you boarded, not actual distance.
Then there's the Tokyo subway system map which remains impenetrable even for many natives largely because the system is operated by multiple companies which require separate tickets. I suspect there are people trapped there, riding around continuously like "Charlie on the M.T.A." ("M.T.A. Song"). I personally spent a "year" one day doing something similar as a first-timer a few moons ago.
My favorite cartoon villains are Dick Dastardly and his sidekick dog Muttley. They started in Wacky Racers, but also antagonized Yogi Bear and Scooby-Do. And of course there is Sylvester Sneekly, assisted by The Bully Brothers, who is constantly trying to bump off Penelope Pitstop to get her inheritance, but I digress.
Whether it's Demento and his merry band of nominated miscreants, empty space or a banana stuck to a wall presented as "art" or, an exchange of sexual messages, we're talking about a betrayal of trust, one way or another. And there are few things more damaging to the psyche, with varying degrees.
It all goes to how we define words, and we get both accidents and attributes. So, I saw "affair" as a rather generic interaction and yes there were affairs, just not sex. Actually, I have come to see "sleeping together" as a much more serious interaction. Many will have sex together, but if they then take time to sleep, I see much more connection and a more serious turn of events. As for art, that is another story.
In addition to the fact that the AG under Trump would dismiss the cases with prejudice rather than without prejudice, there is a more significant difference. The report of the Special Counsel cannot be completed until the case ends. A Trump-appointed Special Counsel would write a report that said essentially that the entire case was based on nothing but animus , or what Trumpsters have decided to call “lawfare”. As it is, the report indicates that there is no reason to doubt the merits of the case, but Justice Department guidelines prohibit pursuing a criminal case against a sitting president.
Sexting and other affair-ish behaviors: the real problem is that one partner is doing something they know the other partner wouldn’t like and is hiding it from them. That takes the intimacy right out of a relationship. The partner may feel forced into lying because they know the reaction they would get if they were honest about what they’re doing. It all comes down to how well people really want to know their partner.
I think I am just expanding on what you're saying,.
If Adam is hiding an interaction from a partner, no matter how inconsequential Adam thinks it is, than Adam's acknowledging that his partner would not agree. Adam knows his partner would be hurt. Adam doesn't care that he is hurting them.
Why does Adam stay married to someone he doesn't mind hurting?
Indeed. Any partnership should include checking assumptions regularly, too.
Any contemptuous behavior in a relationship is damaging -- anything that interferes with partners acting as partners. There are plenty of relationships where sexting or pretty much anything else is totally fine and bothers nobody. The key is preserving the team.
When I read Tracy villain my brain misread it as Tracy Ullman, also known for her wacky characters and costumes and voices, so I was like, yeah, makes sense--the cabinet picks are like Tracy Ullman characters.
Affair? Indiscretion? Mulligan? Call it what you want, what matters is how it affects your other existing relationships. And that will be dependent on the individual specifics of each. The mistake would be letting the applied label tell you how you should feel / what’s acceptable, rather than dealing with how the incident, whatever it was, impacts people’s emotions.
I like this
I loved the image of the man taped to the wall surrounded by banana critics. So much more worthy than the plain taped banana. Also loved the clip about the big pig!
A renowned male writer and radio personality nearly lost it all over an "emotional affair" he had while married. The woman in question, after several years, accused him under the 'me, too' banner as having sexually harassed her [no sex was had]. His marriage survived, but emotional connections of a romantic nature are not generally what is expected when betrothed. Checking the rules between partners isn't a bad idea. Intimacy is important to many who create a pairing, and that isn't shared easily, IMHO. Holding hands can be seen in context. Sexting, not so much.
This whole thing makes me think about the word “adultery.” Adult-ery. Which makes it sound like just something adults do. Like going to sleep before midnight. A very normal thing.
But then there is adulteration, which means weakening or damaging something that was pure or good. And this makes me think that “adult” is a bad thing.
So, does being adult mean that we are no longer pure or good, or that we have broken something? Is adultery normal adulting?
I don’t like that idea at all.
(No research or dictionaries were consulted in the typing of this comment. I am outdoors, typing while walking home from the grocery store, having completed my Thanksgiving shopping. Adulting, perhaps. Or not.)
Unadulterated adulting.
As for Jack Smith asking for the dismissal of the Demento fed cases rather than soldiering on and ignoring the two flaccid DOJ memos on presidential criminal immunity --- thus forcing Demento's DOJ to do the deed --- it largely comes down to two things. Actually three things. It wouldn't have made a difference because of the election and who was elected. The Imperial Court would almost certainly have had another say. The J/6 case was dismissed "without prejudice" meaning there is a (slight) chance it could be refiled when Demento leaves office. Undoubtedly, if left up to the Demento DOJ, even that slight chance would vanish. And finally, there is the matter of a timely report issued before the possibility of it being um..."disappeared" under the Demento DOJ, which is far more important to the historical record of Demento's perversion of democracy than what would be essentially going through the motions of a prosecution.
Considering the election of Trump, it seemed like the behavior of a school of fish when they all manage to turn at the same time. Quantum entanglement? But not thought. In older hypnotism events a subject was told to sing a song when the door was opened after they woke, and they did that. But if asked why they sang, they would have all sorts of answers. None of which were relevant. It was just time to vote for a Republican. How could reason lead to Trump when he was convicted and guilty? Likely a spy. And Romney got kicked out of the race when he said he was brainwashed. Or Bush (the elder) lost when he won a war and fixed the economy. Just nobody seemed to notice. No rhyme or reason. Just mass human behavior. We do that.
A bit too facile for me Gary. Yes, there certainly was a definite wave of anti-incumbency feeling in elections around the world, largely based on the social and economic artifacts of the pandemic. And that may have been a factor here but, I suggest, with all of the postmortems, the reality was a slim plurality of voters decided a woman of color -- and one they just met for all practical purposes --- couldn't possibly help them realize what they claim to want, as opposed to a bloviating grifter they have known seemingly forever. Then throw in false memories of the "good old days" for good measure.
Not to disagree because I had the same thoughts. But when I look at the last 50 years ago, we have moved from Nixon to Carter to Reagan to Clinton and it seems more like a natural force than individual decisions. Just as with a school of fish. Or perhaps both were at work and with close elections these "secondary factors" seemed to rule.
With this election the courts managed to keep information about Trump hidden, where Nixon was forced to release his tapes of White House conversations. The courts did their part, too.
And a lot of backing from powerful PACs and donors with billions to spare.
You asked: “Does marriage imply ownership?”
I can only refer to these lyrics in Property, Todd Rundgren: “When you slip on that ring, they start to treat you like a thing.” The whole song is worth a listen so here you go: https://youtu.be/TUwyZtPEPOw?si=XmiE6LLn6mu0SKre
One of the finest examples of functional art is the London Underground Map (technically a diagram) which was the brainchild of a graphic artist named Harry Beck. I wish WMATA would adopt some of his innovations such as directional tick marks pointing to station labels and white line connectors for line transfers. I've read the book Mr. Beck's Underground Map multiple times for how to display large amounts of interconnected information clearly and concisely.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Beck
https://www.amazon.com/Mr-Becks-Underground-Map-History/dp/1854141686/ref=sr_1_1?crid=MEQTFWWS8UOO&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.IeFVxvrd0dMW9nVT1y3P5NHki2c8VMmZ1CeVOFORrVjGjHj071QN20LucGBJIEps.j9CMzX8YKj9mrB5TbmXwoV23vssNdE8E8fOhIpljUFg&dib_tag=se&keywords=mr+beck%27s+underground+map&qid=1732651965&sprefix=mr.+beck%27s%2Caps%2C127&sr=8-1
And they still use many of his innovations to this day.
https://content.tfl.gov.uk/standard-tube-map.pdf
Assume you're familiar with the pioneering information design work of Edward Tufte.
I just lent my Tufte books to my wife so she could bring them to work to show exemplars for how to visualize large, complex data sets.
While certain design elements have indeed withstood the test of time, the problem with the "Tube" map is that over the nine decades since it was first published, it acquired so much detail as the system expanded as to become almost useless in trying to quickly figure out how to navigate from one point to another, and for newbies or tourists, in particular. Certainly not something you want in a "map," and especially one originally designed for usefulness over accuracy. The latest unsolicited attempt at improving the "usability" of the map puts it in circular form, an altogether better map from that standpoint. There's more space and the routes are clearer, while still using the long-established and recognizable colors and fonts, although it does not have the wealth of information the iconic Transport for London (TfL) map provides. But according to the TfL, apparently redesigning the map for greater "usability" or "readability" is not of primary importance since the map as is, is “an iconic piece of world-renowned design.”
https://assets.londonist.com/uploads/2024/08/london_circles_update.jpg
IIRC, there were different maps created. One was a completely integrated map with British Rail included. Another was a central London map that cut out the more distant stations that were less likely to used by tourists and casual travelers.
In Mr. Beck's Underground Map, there is a part dedicated to when a "new and improved" map based on hexagonal cells was introduced much to Beck's horror. He thought for certain he would be called in to fix it. Instead, his protege fixed it and even Beck thought it was rendered well.
You can pick two of three attributes for the diagram: Physical Accuracy, Functional Utility and Pleasing Aesthetics. Beck sacrificed the first. Metro abandoned all three.
There is a classic practical joke based on the London Tube Map. I wish I could remember the details, but I can't except that Tower Hill station was one of the points. The gist of it was that you could give someone directions to get from Point A to Point B via Tube (a longish distance that probably required transferring from one line to another), and when they came up from Point B, they'd realize they were about a block from where they started. Because the map does not try to represent actual geography, this is far from evident.
I did find this one:
Stand outside Bank Underground Station. Give a visitor a Tube Map and tell him to meet you outside the Mansion House. Then go and have a coffee.
What the map does not tell you is that the Mansion House (the home of the Lord Mayor of London) is by Bank Station not by Mansion House station. So by the time your visitor has made the difficult train journey to Mansion House Station and walked back to the Mansion House, he will be cheesed off.
This is what's called "inventive spacing." Harry Beck got the idea of more or less equally spacing the stations on his map from drawing an electrical circuit diagram. The underlying thought or rationale being that when riding the Underground all you're really interested in is your stop and maybe how many stops there are en route from the station where you boarded, not actual distance.
Then there's the Tokyo subway system map which remains impenetrable even for many natives largely because the system is operated by multiple companies which require separate tickets. I suspect there are people trapped there, riding around continuously like "Charlie on the M.T.A." ("M.T.A. Song"). I personally spent a "year" one day doing something similar as a first-timer a few moons ago.
https://www.tokyometro.jp/en/subwaymap/img/img_01.png
My favorite cartoon villains are Dick Dastardly and his sidekick dog Muttley. They started in Wacky Racers, but also antagonized Yogi Bear and Scooby-Do. And of course there is Sylvester Sneekly, assisted by The Bully Brothers, who is constantly trying to bump off Penelope Pitstop to get her inheritance, but I digress.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Dastardly
Snidely Whiplash
Whether it's Demento and his merry band of nominated miscreants, empty space or a banana stuck to a wall presented as "art" or, an exchange of sexual messages, we're talking about a betrayal of trust, one way or another. And there are few things more damaging to the psyche, with varying degrees.
It all goes to how we define words, and we get both accidents and attributes. So, I saw "affair" as a rather generic interaction and yes there were affairs, just not sex. Actually, I have come to see "sleeping together" as a much more serious interaction. Many will have sex together, but if they then take time to sleep, I see much more connection and a more serious turn of events. As for art, that is another story.
In addition to the fact that the AG under Trump would dismiss the cases with prejudice rather than without prejudice, there is a more significant difference. The report of the Special Counsel cannot be completed until the case ends. A Trump-appointed Special Counsel would write a report that said essentially that the entire case was based on nothing but animus , or what Trumpsters have decided to call “lawfare”. As it is, the report indicates that there is no reason to doubt the merits of the case, but Justice Department guidelines prohibit pursuing a criminal case against a sitting president.