As an occasional observer, if football or soccer tends to take on the appearance of Calvinball, you're not too far off. I've covered the incomprehensible offside rule elsewhere; among other head-scratchers like the drop ball rule is stoppage or added time. The theory here is extra time is tacked onto the end of each half to make up for moments when the ball wasn’t in play --- the game being built on uninterrupted movement and stoppage time supposedly preserves the illusion of continuity. Moments consisting of: injuries; substitutions; Video Assistant Referee (VAR) checks; goal celebrations including knee‑slide counts; time‑wasting (slow goal kicks, fake cramps, dramatic strolls), unseemly crowd behavior; election results; excessive sweating, flatulence and just because. Stoppage time itself can have stoppage time. If a team wastes time during added time, the ref can extend it further. This is why a match showing "+4" can end at 95:30. Think of it like the restaurant host or hostess saying your table will be ready "in about 10 minutes."
Put 4 sides on the pitch at one time, add a goal on each sideline and play with 2 balls. Let players score in any goal they choose. Winner determined by total of number of goals plus number of players from that side who do not fall down during the match.
Dread the day they trash up the "Beautiful Game", it will happen at some point, FIFA is hopelessly corrupt. Loved Rachel's article, I always found fax machines fiddly, but enjoyed her teaching the young 'uns how it was (is) done.
they score by throwing themselves on the ground and moaning until the refs let them take a free throw or something, right? so I don't think new outfits would change anything.
I decided it was my civic duty to give soccer another chance, so I watched the U.S. vs. Australia game. But it was just as boring as ever. For one thing, the ball keeps going out of bounds and stopping play. So I was thinking, what if they used bumpers, like the ones for kids who go bowling, and kept the ball permanently in bounds? Also, if you fall over and pretend to be hurt, you're permanently out of the game, or at least have to wear a red clown nose or one of the outfits mentioned in the post.
Nah, it would still be boring as hell. And I'm a baseball fan.
More dogs, and a variety of dogs. Including some big dogs that could pick up the ball and run with it. To benefit FIFA and the Am. Humane Society, or a local one, or some big sponsor's foundation.
I'd actually watch any of those matches you suggested! What a blast!
Cue Monty Python’s Philosophers’ match.
Talk to the guy who owns the Savannah Bananas. He's turned them into the Harlem Globe Trotters of baseball. I'm sure he could come up with some ideas.
Adopting your alterations would actually get me to watch, something I'm not otherwise likely to do.
As an occasional observer, if football or soccer tends to take on the appearance of Calvinball, you're not too far off. I've covered the incomprehensible offside rule elsewhere; among other head-scratchers like the drop ball rule is stoppage or added time. The theory here is extra time is tacked onto the end of each half to make up for moments when the ball wasn’t in play --- the game being built on uninterrupted movement and stoppage time supposedly preserves the illusion of continuity. Moments consisting of: injuries; substitutions; Video Assistant Referee (VAR) checks; goal celebrations including knee‑slide counts; time‑wasting (slow goal kicks, fake cramps, dramatic strolls), unseemly crowd behavior; election results; excessive sweating, flatulence and just because. Stoppage time itself can have stoppage time. If a team wastes time during added time, the ref can extend it further. This is why a match showing "+4" can end at 95:30. Think of it like the restaurant host or hostess saying your table will be ready "in about 10 minutes."
I can only imagine how Rachel would have dealt with the first commercial fax device.
https://ts2.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.QfVSAfRArS_sChFCwnY2FQAAAA&pid=15.1&o=7&rm=3
Put 4 sides on the pitch at one time, add a goal on each sideline and play with 2 balls. Let players score in any goal they choose. Winner determined by total of number of goals plus number of players from that side who do not fall down during the match.
It would be hard to get trashification beyond that of the 80s or so TV trashsports epidemic, but if anyone to it, it’s probably this gang
I think some of Hollywood's A-listers should participate and show the players what over dramatic acting to feign injury could really look like.
Widen the goal from 8 feet to 12 feet. Now a typical score will be 18 -14 instead of 2 - 1, and Americans will fall in love with the sport
Dread the day they trash up the "Beautiful Game", it will happen at some point, FIFA is hopelessly corrupt. Loved Rachel's article, I always found fax machines fiddly, but enjoyed her teaching the young 'uns how it was (is) done.
That's the root problem: FIFA is hopelessly corrupt.
I'd watch if they played as drag queens.
Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo in drag? I'M THERE!
they score by throwing themselves on the ground and moaning until the refs let them take a free throw or something, right? so I don't think new outfits would change anything.
Technical points for the level of difficulty of the dive, and style points for presentation of pain.
I decided it was my civic duty to give soccer another chance, so I watched the U.S. vs. Australia game. But it was just as boring as ever. For one thing, the ball keeps going out of bounds and stopping play. So I was thinking, what if they used bumpers, like the ones for kids who go bowling, and kept the ball permanently in bounds? Also, if you fall over and pretend to be hurt, you're permanently out of the game, or at least have to wear a red clown nose or one of the outfits mentioned in the post.
Nah, it would still be boring as hell. And I'm a baseball fan.
More dogs, and a variety of dogs. Including some big dogs that could pick up the ball and run with it. To benefit FIFA and the Am. Humane Society, or a local one, or some big sponsor's foundation.
I'd actually watch any of those matches you suggested! What a blast!
The answer is Wilma Rudolph of course. Why you don’t know this is a mystery.
I would definitely watch a version with a dozen labs running loose on the pitch. Living with our Lab was a bit like living with The Three Stooges.