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Leslie G's avatar

I believe in The Rainbow Bridge. I think it is a place where I would feel comfortable, and if my dogs aren't allowed in any other afterlife venue, I don't want to be there. I know my parents would be there, too.

And I think "My Congressperson is an Asshole," or something similar is a much better bumper sticker. Especially when you drive all over DC.

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Robot Bender's avatar

I hope there's a Rainbow Bridge. I'll find out when I get there. I'm certain that the afterlife (if there is one) won't be like the Evangelicals and Christofascists think.

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StorytellerTimLivengood's avatar

Or, for those of us who have sensible congresspersons (and for those who live in DC and have no voting representative): YOUR CORNGRESSMAN IS AN ASSHOLE. The misspelling is intentional, to make you think of corn passing through the digestive tract and emerging into poop. Or think of corn-growing flyover states. Whatever.

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Sasquatch's avatar

Redundancy alert!

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Sean Clinchy's avatar

If you believe in an afterlife, do you believe in a beforelife? If we go somewhere after we’re dead, don’t you think we were somewhere before we were born? I hope we weren’t in Heaven before we were born, that sounds as though getting born was a demotion of sorts. Maybe we screwed up in Heaven and we were exiled to this world? Is that why God gave us Trump? To punish us while we’re down here?

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Nancy Meyer's avatar

Because you apparently believe the Lord gaveth, please plead for Him to taketh away!

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Robot Bender's avatar

🤷‍♂️

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Joseph Mat Schech's avatar

I want a stack of bumper stickers that say “I’m a moron, and I vote!” I will put them on other people’s cars based on what stickers they already have.

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Dale of Green Gables's avatar

I believe in a laughterlife.

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Carol McDonald's avatar

I don’t believe in an afterlife for humans (thanks, Sister Patrick). I would like to believe in The Rainbow Bridge for my pets. None of them were with me long enough so I hope they’re happy and safe with their brothers and sisters. I know that sounds contradictory. I don’t care. I miss them all terribly.

I think the sticker I would come up with might have Jone Ernst at my door talking about all of us dying or the tooth fairy. I don’t know. Maybe that’s normal for Iowa, I live in Florida.

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Kitchen Cynic's avatar

Joni must think Oscar Wilde is her speechwriter: She's infatuated with The Importance of Being Ernst.

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Robot Bender's avatar

Me too, Carol. I'll be inundated with Shelties and cats.

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heydave56's avatar

Not normal. Fuck that hag Joni.

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Sasquatch's avatar

Not with someone else's dick.

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Dale of Green Gables's avatar

"I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge. That myth is more potent than history. That dreams are more powerful than facts. That hope always triumphs over experience. That laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death."

--- Robert Fulghum

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Dale of Green Gables's avatar

This newsletter, short as it may be, clinches it. Wes Anderson has a new movie out which now prompts me to opine that you are the Wes Anderson of Substack. Where else you gonna find the sublime to (official) ridiculousness: pay to play, Adam's genitals, dog poop bridging the ideological divide, roo-roo, pollinating partners --- everything in between and well beyond. Okay, okay. Wes is the Gene Weingarten of the cinema. Btw --- with the average movie ticket getting ever closer to 20 bucks (now at about $17 nationally) TGP is a bargain. At the movies, you get one Wes Anderson at a time. Here you get many Weingartens (including a Don), a wordplay competition with um...prizes...and an Empress for less than $0.14/day. I mean Save the Children or the ACLU is gonna set you back at least $0.63/day with a suggested contribution. And what they do is not in the least bit amusing.

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Claudia Winter's avatar

This may not be what is called an “afterlife”, but I believe we continue as a spirit…or maybe, it’s just that we dream of loved ones who have died, or feel them close to us, because we want to? 🤷‍♀️ I need an “it depends” choice.

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Seth Christenfeld's avatar

I don't know what I believe, but I certainly hope that reincarnation isn't a thing. I don't want to have to go through this shit again.

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Robot Bender's avatar

🙋‍♂️

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Richard Alexander's avatar

Wow, that was an unexpected poll result! Granted there are only 58 votes so far, but given that your readers are, I assume, fans of rational thinking, I would have expected a much higher percentage of "No." (It's currently at 53 percent.) I'm curious to see what the final tally will be.

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Gregory Dunn's avatar

Gene did leave the question wide open. I voted yes because I include the memories that those who survive have and share. Think of Dia de Muertos. I believe that I mentioned in a Chatalogical Humor post that touched on this topic that the first movie that I watched after my wife died was Coco, and that I found it oddly comforting. My kids and I still talk about my wife frequently, so in a sense, she is still with us. My father has been gone for over a quarter of a century, but his maiden aunts who died when he was still young are still with my siblings and me because he shared some of the witty things he overheard while they gossiped a hundred years ago.

Beyond that, I have no idea.

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WolfBite🐺's avatar

Yes! I don't believe in the traditional "afterlife," but when "any sort" was emphasized, I started wondering if decaying into the earth from which new life will feed is a material afterlife, while some of the idiosyncrasies that make us who we are will live on through others speaking of us, or work we leave behind.

We are all star dust, and star dust is eternal.

But at the same time, some of us need to get a life before we think about whether there is an afterlife.

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Richard Alexander's avatar

Yes, for me, too. Like this: https://www.gocomics.com/pearlsbeforeswine/2024/08/25

Or this, by George Eliot:

O may I join the choir invisible

Of those immortal dead who live again

In minds made better by their presence...

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Leakie's avatar

I believe we keep people alive in stories and language. The older I get, the more I start talking as my parents did. Many expressions are mysteries but I say them nonetheless. My crossword-playing daddy used words like "logy" and "modicum" and I believe I must use them as often as possible. He sang a little song that went "Heigh Ho, said Anthony Raleigh. Whether his mother would let him or not, a rolly-polly-gammon-and spinach, Heigh Ho, said Anthony Raleigh." Now my children are singing this song. No one knows what it means but it make me feel close to my late daddy.

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Just Lil Ole Me's avatar

I voted “no”, but sorta do hope that there is a rainbow bridge, like Leslie, where my critters and I—and all the other critters I’ve not yet met—can be together.

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Nancy Meyer's avatar

To "believe" in any sort of afterlife suggests a significant degree of confidence that your opinion is correct. I couldn't vote Yes or No because we agnostics like to have some evidence on our side before committing to "belief" in anything. My stance is "I'm inclined to think an afterlife might exist," but won't put money down either way. That was not one of the voting options!

The notion that how the universe genuinely operates can be correctly deduced by "rational thinking" is self-deluding because real reality is weirder than we are apt to imagine. Would human reproduction be painful and too often fatal in a rational universe?

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Jeff Conner's avatar

I want to know more about the “America Needs Librarians” and if there is more after that and if it is positive or negative. Retired military librarian, so I have to wonder.

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Dale of Green Gables's avatar

I understand in Florida pictures of Adam (and David) have Bermuda shorts now superimposed over their nether regions. Although some scholars believe Adam did, in fact, suffer from the then only known case of produce package.

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Kitchen Cynic's avatar

So did Eve suffer from fig leaf envy?

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Dale of Green Gables's avatar

Not sure, but one commentary on Genesis indicates she was always after the guy to turn over a new leaf.

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Robot Bender's avatar

Don't worry. Soon they're going to be sporting three piece suits and the Handmaiden style robes. 🙄

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Roy Ashley's avatar

Do you discount ALL accounts of near-death experiences?

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Jonathan Jensen's avatar

I don't.

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Roy Ashley's avatar

Neither do I. Some are scams to sell books, etc., but others seem at a minimum, plausible. Not within conventional understanding, but that in itself doesn’t make them false.

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Jonathan Jensen's avatar

To paraphrase another comment I made, the theory of relativity doesn’t exactly fit within conventional understanding.

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Cynthia Wall's avatar

God, no. Jesus, no. Aslan and Narnia? In my dreams.

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Dale of Green Gables's avatar

Rampant tomato plants. Unrestrained fig trees. Let us know when Sir David Attenborough shows up with a crew.

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John Hibbits's avatar

Believe? Any sort? Is there a Great Courses crib sheet for this question? Could we have had a button for Well, ... ? It'd probably get some votes. My friend A. says that if you don't get figs, pile on a bunch of compost early in the spring. I just read that most figs around here are sell-pollinators and you don't need the wasp that dies after laying its eggs and concomitantly pollinating the fig flowers inside the fruit. The U.S. Forest service has a neat little explanation with charming illustrations. Check it out now before it gets revoked by the president.

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