74 Comments
User's avatar
Dale of Green Gables's avatar

Pick one (per hour).

We blew up Caracas and kidnapped the Maduros because:

(1) Narco-trafficking

(2) An indictment arrest required the CIA, Delta Force and 150 aircraft

(3) Oil reserves

(4) We wanted to

(5) Demento needed another country to run into the ground

(6) His manhood is small

(6a) Hegseth thought it was Yemen

Henry Cohen's avatar

(7) Another hopeless effort to distract from the Epstein files

Richard Van Atta's avatar

7) Distraction: ain’t no Epstein Files — ain’t no Epstein Files — ain’t no Epstein Files — lookie over here, lookie over there —ain’t no Epstein Files

Dan Sachs's avatar

We've now established the precedent that it's OK to invade a country and remove its President and First Lady. I hope Canada is listening.

Sasquatch's avatar

I hope Canada takes action.

Robot Bender's avatar

They're too busy rearming and building troop strength.

Dale of Green Gables's avatar

So, we're now the boss of Venezuela eh? Did a bang up job "running" Afghanistan and Iraq, did we not? And there's Gaza. Couldn't be better eh wot? Always good to have another country ready to run, in case you can't govern your own.

Betsy Beyler's avatar

As soon as the Southern District of NY sentences Maduro, Trump will hasten to pardon him....

Sasquatch's avatar

You beat me to it. However, whether Il Douche grants the pardon and how quickly he grants it depends on the size of Maduro's bribe.

COL Mustard's avatar

Congratulations, Gene. You’re pregnant!

JefCon 1's avatar

I don’t understand the polling question. Do people who answer “Never” pick their noses only if someone is looking?

Yehawes (VA)'s avatar

Darn it. Now I have to go back and look at the wording again.

Henry Cohen's avatar

"Thanks to our servile Supreme Court, we can prosecute foreign heads of state but not our own head of state for their official actions."

Excellent observation, but I don't think that the six Republican politicians who pose as justices are servile. They do what they do, which is to ignore the Constitution and federal laws, for themselves, not because they're catering to the murderous toddler. Wanting to help him is not the same as being servile to him.

John's avatar
Jan 4Edited

I suspect the Opus Dei wing of the Supreme Court is indeed servile, obedient to the oligarchs (aka the big tippers) who issue instructions from the Heritage Foundation, the Federalist Society, and the like. Trump seems to think he is the one in charge. HA! He's just the idiot front man who, conveniently for the wealthy right wing extremists, also happens to be a psychopath.

Betsy Beyler's avatar

And now he's renaming the Monroe Doctrine after himself!

John E Simpson's avatar

I hadn't seen that. What is it, the Donroe Doctrine? 🤯

Archer Macy's avatar

No, the Donroe Moctrine!

Lairbo's avatar

It's the Monroe Doctrine rewritten by AI programmed according to the mindset of John Gotti.

Yehawes (VA)'s avatar

He did do quite a bit of running on about it but it sounded to me like the way he blathers when he hasn't the least bit of an idea of what something is. Like the Constitution: "It's a document" or any verse in the Bible whatsoever.

Betsy Beyler's avatar

Now try two more tests, one with a left nostril swab and one with a right nostril swab. Curious to know the results!

Jennifer Elsea's avatar

Do I have this right? The “Commander in Chief” has constitutional authority to blow up small boats on the high seas without congressional authorization because the boats do not pose a threat to U.S. forces firing on them. In contrast, he has constitutional authority to attack targets in a sovereign country without congressional authorization because there is some danger that U.S. forces may come under (counter) attack. The concept of self defense has been sharpied.

Yehawes (VA)'s avatar

I know! I thought that too - how were the armed forces under threat except that they sat around firing on Venezuelan (and other local) fishermen and island hoppers and someone might forcefully object, or that they invaded the capitol and the Venezuelan military might defend themselves? I does sound very much like Russia having to invade Ukraine because they felt threatened by Ukraine sitting there minding their own business. According to Bondi, part of the charges against Maduro was for having machineguns and other weapons (she did use no space there) and for intending to use them against the US. I do wonder how our famously pro-gun laws somehow translate into leaders of other countries not being allowed to have weaponry, and how we determine intent. I expect we will find out soon. Hopefully Joyce Vance will explain it all.

Yehawes (VA)'s avatar

Rarely, and then only with a screwed up tissue. I've spent a life responsible for vulnerable people. So, your covid is the world's second worst sport winner next to Lala Mustafa Pasha?

While we can't bring our own president to trial, the precedent we set by bringing another country's president to trial might open the way for other countries to bring our president to trial in their court systems. For instance, Putin has not dared to leave Russia (except to China and Alaska and... Hungary?) in years due to charges brought in the world court. It seems unlikely anyone else will prove so helpful, but it's a suggestion.

Not Simple, Ever's avatar

Consider aspirating with saline fluid. It’s soothing. So is Flonase, a nasal steroid.

COL Mustard's avatar

Just don't get your Flonase and your Flomax mixed up! I don't even want to think about what that would do!

Archer Macy's avatar

We trust that Rachel and the animals have fled for safer territories and climes!

Stephen Rockower's avatar

Grandpa ain't movin'

Dale of Green Gables's avatar

Well, you are a left hemisphere guy after all. They say that bile is a trigger for respiratory issues and you have been generating that in spades for good reason. Get well soon.

Susan Zakin's avatar

Like Russia but stupider

bitchybitchybitchy's avatar

Wishing you a speedy recovery.

As for Trump: Epstein, Epstein, Epstein