On Friday, when a breaking news alert from the Internet informed me that the martial arts actor Chuck Norris had just died, I hit command -T, went to Bluesky, and jubilantly typed out:
I picked the firefighter because I thought it was the most clever and funniest when Harry Beaver is stripped of the (very slight) shock value which is funny but arguably in a cheaper, easier way. In other words, I deliberately chose to over-think the poll as I often do. Asimov wrote a book about humor and believed that surprise, shock or off-balancing was almost always an element of humor so perhaps he wouldn't have found Les McBurney funny at all. I do think the audience here generally embraces a broad form of humor which can be... relaxing if you let it be.
Agree, I am an old lady who found Beaver just sort of juvenile and McBurney clever. But I love me some poop and fart jokes, so must be the female body part angle.
Homage should be paid here to the late scholars Richard Brilliant (art historian, Columbia University) and Robert Lucid (English professor, University of Pennsylviania), as well as to Richard Scholar, fellow and tutor in French at Oriel College, Oxford, still alive and author of a book on the idea of "je ne sais quoi".
Apparently Chuck was a well-respected sailor in boating circles. I saw his boat moored in Camden, Maine one summer, which prompted me to exclaim to my friend, "The yacht does not sail Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris sails the yacht." All I got in return was a strange look.
That's a lovely tribute, Gene. Still, I suspect he winced when he saw the extraneous comma in this sentence: "Lewis Diuguid was a brilliant, courtly, editor and foreign correspondent for The Washington Post back in the day."
We once had a Dr. Bury. There used to be a Swindle Jeweler in San Angelo, TX. Here in Santa Monica, there’s a Heist Jeweler. What’s the opposite of an aptonym?
Certainly among the more piquant of the aptonyms, as the result of an Idaho trial of a man caught in the act of self-gratification is described:
State v. Limberhand, 117 Idaho 457 (1990), established that a person has a reasonable expectation of privacy in a closed restroom stall, making surreptitious police surveillance a Fourth Amendment violation.
But one of my personal quintessential favorites is Paige Worthy, former magazine fact-checker and editor.
I can do you better. There was a urologist in my city, a Dr Cockburn. This is absolutely true. For many years on my way to work, I would stop at a stoplight and his office was on the corner. The sign brightened my morning every day.
Now I'm doubting myself. Checked my birth certificate, passport and the mirror. Yup, still female, 71 and hands down Harry Beaver wins. It's hilarious. Les McBurney is great and very, ahem, apt, but only mildly amusing. CBNF Of course, it's completely without drama so safe for any audience. What I really want to know is if Les McBurney is still alive and if not, was he cremated?
When my father used to say good bye to close male friends, he'd add "Don't let your dingus dingle dangle in the sand." I think he said it because he thought it was funny and my mother hated it "Avery, there are CHILDREN here!" The word always makes me laugh although I've never known a like aged man use the term. It was a Daddy word.
I once worked with weatherman Dallas Raines at CNN who had an annoying habit of getting too close and squeezing your shoulder when he spoke to you. I believe he still works as a weatherman in LA.
As a skilled aptonymetrician, I must warn people to beware the adopted name. These do not qualify. "Chesty Morgan" was not an aptonym. Of course, Mr. Raines may have been born that way. I have not checked.
Fun article. I was struck by the topic of two of the aptonyms that reflect current day issues:
"...Judge Leonard B. Sand ordered the Defense Department today to explain how the ground offensive in Iraq and Kuwait affects rules governing media access." and
"...It is not a big issue on campus," said Jim Crowley of Georgetown University's Federalist Society, when asked about affirmative-action efforts at the school."
A man ahead of his time. And, deja vu all over again.
For those both taking offense and chortling at the term "beaver" for the lady landscape, it may be helpful to provide an historical perspective. One suggestion is it originated with the popularity of a limerick (and just how appropriate is that for um... these here parts. eh?), playing on the then eponymous British game where "Beaver!" was shouted when a beard was sighted. Simple pleasures back in Britain of the '20s. And before you attack because of what you see as an undisciplined rhyme, the poet chose to use the accepted alternative (French/Belgian) pronunciation of "Godiva" ("Go-DEE-vah"). And "Beaver" as "Beav-uh" would place the poet in London or southern England. Are we done here‽
Are the majority of these readers men? I don't think "beaver" is funny at all. I guess I'm just a crabby old woman.
Hey, Anne. For what it's worth, judging from polls that self-segregate the genders, about 55 percent of the readers of The Gene Pool are women.
I (crabby old woman) voted for it
As did I. It’s hilarious.
I'm a crabby old woman as well and I think it's funny. Arrested development no doubt.
I'm with you, definately. Just damn sick of it
I am a crabby old woman, and I think Beaver is hilarious.
I’m a 77 year old woman and tried to select beaver but accidentally hit dingus. Helps to have a slightly off color sense of humor.
My immediate response to the results of the poll was that I was astonished that Gene had so many teenaged boys reading his stuff.
You're still right. Teenaged boys can come in any age, gender, shape and size. At 62 I happen to be more of a teenaged boy than my 14-year-old son.
Although I still chose Les McBurney, fwiw.
I had My Lovely Wife take the poll, and she selected Harry Beaver. "No contest," she said.
Definitely crabby. Define a woman. Definitely thought it was the funniest.
Don't blame me: I voted for Untercoffer.
I would have done so but too late to the column to vote. McBurney 2d.
I picked the firefighter because I thought it was the most clever and funniest when Harry Beaver is stripped of the (very slight) shock value which is funny but arguably in a cheaper, easier way. In other words, I deliberately chose to over-think the poll as I often do. Asimov wrote a book about humor and believed that surprise, shock or off-balancing was almost always an element of humor so perhaps he wouldn't have found Les McBurney funny at all. I do think the audience here generally embraces a broad form of humor which can be... relaxing if you let it be.
Agree, I am an old lady who found Beaver just sort of juvenile and McBurney clever. But I love me some poop and fart jokes, so must be the female body part angle.
I’m a crabby old man, and I agree.
Nah, I am an older woman but beaver was mildly funny.
Not funny. Crass.
Homage should be paid here to the late scholars Richard Brilliant (art historian, Columbia University) and Robert Lucid (English professor, University of Pennsylviania), as well as to Richard Scholar, fellow and tutor in French at Oriel College, Oxford, still alive and author of a book on the idea of "je ne sais quoi".
When I was a child, our local dentists were Sharp, Pick, and Savage. This is true. You could take your ...
Dr. Paine was ours.
S/he would have fitted right in!
My mom's ophthalmologist was Dr. Blinder -- really!
I’m going to add one for Chuck Norris
They were going to name a road after him but decided not not, nobody crosses Chuck Norris.
I love Chuck Norris jokes. So did he, from what I heard.
Apparently Chuck was a well-respected sailor in boating circles. I saw his boat moored in Camden, Maine one summer, which prompted me to exclaim to my friend, "The yacht does not sail Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris sails the yacht." All I got in return was a strange look.
That's a lovely tribute, Gene. Still, I suspect he winced when he saw the extraneous comma in this sentence: "Lewis Diuguid was a brilliant, courtly, editor and foreign correspondent for The Washington Post back in the day."
I read it as both brilliant and courtly are modifying both editor and correspondent.
The comma is still extraneous. And "brilliant and courtly editor and foreign correspondent" would require no commas at all.
We once had a Dr. Bury. There used to be a Swindle Jeweler in San Angelo, TX. Here in Santa Monica, there’s a Heist Jeweler. What’s the opposite of an aptonym?
An inaptonym. Wikipedia credits me for that!
As do we!
There’s a Bury Funeral Home in Buffalo, NY.
Truth in advertising.
Certainly among the more piquant of the aptonyms, as the result of an Idaho trial of a man caught in the act of self-gratification is described:
State v. Limberhand, 117 Idaho 457 (1990), established that a person has a reasonable expectation of privacy in a closed restroom stall, making surreptitious police surveillance a Fourth Amendment violation.
But one of my personal quintessential favorites is Paige Worthy, former magazine fact-checker and editor.
I can do you better. There was a urologist in my city, a Dr Cockburn. This is absolutely true. For many years on my way to work, I would stop at a stoplight and his office was on the corner. The sign brightened my morning every day.
There is a urologist in my town named Dr. Turnbull and his specialty is vasectomies. He turns bulls into steers.
Now I'm doubting myself. Checked my birth certificate, passport and the mirror. Yup, still female, 71 and hands down Harry Beaver wins. It's hilarious. Les McBurney is great and very, ahem, apt, but only mildly amusing. CBNF Of course, it's completely without drama so safe for any audience. What I really want to know is if Les McBurney is still alive and if not, was he cremated?
There was a Dr Corn when I lived in DC. He was a podiatrist.
Dr Harvey Butcher was Chief of Surgery at Barnes Hospital in St Louis when I was in nursing school.
Is there a word for names which form a complete sentence? Anthony Flew; George Will; Gideon Fell; Immanuel Kant ...
Ben Folds. Tom Waits. Michelle Shocked.
Karl Marx. Gennifer Flowers.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy!
?
John Fits Gerald Kennedy. Gerald Kennedy being a person.
No surprise --- it's called a sentential name.
Aha! I thought there must be a word. Thank you!
There always is. Linguists apparently can't help themselves.
Time to go all Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot on you other voters: "dingus" will never be not funny!!!
When my father used to say good bye to close male friends, he'd add "Don't let your dingus dingle dangle in the sand." I think he said it because he thought it was funny and my mother hated it "Avery, there are CHILDREN here!" The word always makes me laugh although I've never known a like aged man use the term. It was a Daddy word.
I once worked with weatherman Dallas Raines at CNN who had an annoying habit of getting too close and squeezing your shoulder when he spoke to you. I believe he still works as a weatherman in LA.
As a skilled aptonymetrician, I must warn people to beware the adopted name. These do not qualify. "Chesty Morgan" was not an aptonym. Of course, Mr. Raines may have been born that way. I have not checked.
Yes, that was his given name…
Too bad he wasn't the weatherman for a station in the DFW area.
The guy who does the traffic report on WBAL in Baltimore goes by “ Jay Walker.”
He does and he’s still annoying!
Fun article. I was struck by the topic of two of the aptonyms that reflect current day issues:
"...Judge Leonard B. Sand ordered the Defense Department today to explain how the ground offensive in Iraq and Kuwait affects rules governing media access." and
"...It is not a big issue on campus," said Jim Crowley of Georgetown University's Federalist Society, when asked about affirmative-action efforts at the school."
A man ahead of his time. And, deja vu all over again.
I also loved the article, but I admit my heart stopped briefly upon mention of a potential U.S. invasion of Switzerland.
Gene:
I know you like to portray yourself as an inveterate cynic, a “scabrous soul” as you so charmingly put it.
But if the Gene Weingarten that comes through in your book “One Day” is any reflection of the real Gene, you are anything but.
Sorry.
That book was written by Pulitzer Gene, not Gene Pool Gene. They seem to have been coinhabiting the same body for a long time. :)
"One Day" is one of the best books I have ever read.
For those both taking offense and chortling at the term "beaver" for the lady landscape, it may be helpful to provide an historical perspective. One suggestion is it originated with the popularity of a limerick (and just how appropriate is that for um... these here parts. eh?), playing on the then eponymous British game where "Beaver!" was shouted when a beard was sighted. Simple pleasures back in Britain of the '20s. And before you attack because of what you see as an undisciplined rhyme, the poet chose to use the accepted alternative (French/Belgian) pronunciation of "Godiva" ("Go-DEE-vah"). And "Beaver" as "Beav-uh" would place the poet in London or southern England. Are we done here‽
There was a young lady named Eva,
Who went to the ball as Godiva,
But a change in the lights
Showed a tear in her tights,
And a low fellow present yelled "Beaver!"